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#150895 - 04/15/07 06:28 AM
Re: Feeling like a Fool
[Re: Still]
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Member MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
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You are no fool, my friend. You are doing work harder than most people could endure, because you had to face and live through hell, and you survived. No fool, in my book.
Whining? Nope.
Healing and reaching out and making gains? Yup.
Just a note about disclosing. I did the same thing. Gave the letter I wrote to my abuser to a few friends. None of them mentioned it until I brought it up. The reason (on both accounts) was that they were so overwhelmed, they didn't know how to bring it up, and they were afraid it might "get me thinking about it again". With one friend, I laughed really hard, when he asked me why, I said, "Dude, I'm NEVER not thinking about it!"
Love ya, Robbie
Dan
_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."
Marge Simpson
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#150903 - 04/15/07 07:14 AM
Re: Feeling like a Fool
[Re: dannym]
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Administrator Emeritus MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
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Robbie,
I don't see the fooldom, bro. I see uncertainty as to how to relate to a disclosing relative and friend, as well as indifference at a critical moment, but those are the failings of other people.
Man, can I ever relate to the missed flight problem! I still have trouble with keeping flight details right in my head, and once I booked myself on a flight from Germany to the UK when in fact it had to be from the UK to Germany. I was sitting here in Oxfordshire and couldn't get that right!
That doesn't make us fools Robbie, it just means we are stressed out. I wonder why?
Much love, Larry
_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me As I go walking my freedom highway. Nobody living can make me turn back: This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)
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#150921 - 04/15/07 08:37 AM
Re: Feeling like a Fool
[Re: sabata]
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Member MaleSurvivor
Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
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elements of cooldom : spent 30 years in silent pain found the coolest wife ever built a good life for her raised two beautifull children showed them love everyday made them all feel safe confronted the man who hurt you as a kid still being able to care about him even though he denys the moemories that are so hard for you made friends with a screwd up kid that needs all he can get , you see fool ,i see cool , ps maybe there was a reason you missed that plane,i dont argue with stuff like that sometimes its a good thing adam
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its not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball - damien rice
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#150932 - 04/15/07 09:20 AM
Re: Feeling like a Fool
[Re: shadowkid]
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Guest
Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 101
Loc: new mexico
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FOOL? I don't think so. You are the hardest working survivor EVER!! After years and years of pain and misery, you haven't given up. You keep on fighing even when most of us would give up. You are an inspiration to us all. Every time we talk I hope and pray that I can find in me even one third the strength you have.
_________________________
mack
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#150934 - 04/15/07 09:28 AM
Re: Feeling like a Fool
[Re: sabata]
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Member MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1416
Loc: MN
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Rob It could just be his way of bringing important people into you life. Just open up and see what comes your way.
After all it is Lordy's day and he may have a special day ahead for You. Sending you my thoughts today
Tom.
Edited by Muldoon (04/15/07 10:35 AM)
_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence
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#150938 - 04/15/07 09:47 AM
Re: Feeling like a Fool
[Re: Muldoon]
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Guest
Registered: 03/30/07
Posts: 72
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I agree with shadowkid you're the coolest "fool" i've ever met about your father, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you're feeling I hope and pray that he recovers and I also agree with the others about the lack of response from your confidants sometimes a lack of response indicates that the person is afraid of saying the wrong thing and possibly hurting you even more so and don't worry about the flashbacks in front of your customer...he was probably embarrassed as well...plus that doesn't make you a fool...nobody can control when the past comes back to them I don't know what else to say... YOU'RE A GREAT PERSON! NOT A FOOL! A FRIEND!
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#150939 - 04/15/07 10:03 AM
Re: Feeling like a Fool
[Re: dan17]
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Site Administrator MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 9970
Loc: Denver, CO
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Rob,
I don't have much to add here other than my agreement with these men. You're no fool. You're someone who has taken on the crap dealt to him and faced it head on. Confronting your dad is an inspiration to me in regards to my mother. Please be easy on yourself.
_________________________
Money talks ... but all it tells me is 'goodbye.'
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