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#15089 - 04/24/06 06:38 AM Re: Wanting to give up
kuurt Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 168
Loc: louisiana
wow, i understand how you feel.

_________________________
"if it keeps on rainin' the levee's gonna break.
and if the levee breaks, i'll have no place to stay"
-led zeppelin

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#15090 - 04/24/06 09:18 AM Re: Wanting to give up
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
Martym

don't give up -

believe in you -

and we believe in you right?

so if one seems reluctant - it is about him

not you - i suppose.

one bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch -

bad apples suck - but not all apples under the tree are fresh a daisy!

hang in there -

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#15091 - 04/24/06 09:26 AM Re: Wanting to give up
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Martym,

Your post concerns me, since (in my humble opinion) a T should not be telling you read this or that book or leaving you with the feeling that all you are getting is metaphysical bullshit.

It is so natural to want belief from your T and to keep asking about that. I can't count all the times I have asked my T, "Can you actually believe all this?"

If you aren't getting the help, or even proper validation, that you need, you might consider changing Ts. There are numerous approaches and of course each T has his/her own personality. We all need an approach and a person we can relate to and feel safe with.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#15092 - 04/24/06 09:46 AM Re: Wanting to give up
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
martym -

just to add - to larry's idea -

with a question -

afte three years of being in therapy -

this person ought to know you now well enough

i would think that he might perceive his actions

mean to you that he doesn't believe you and there fore be hurtful - then again - it might
be growing pains in your relationship with him-

recently i argued with an old friend - and it was very hard - hurtful difficult -

and though a t is not a friend - but a healing relationship - if he is pushing a spot that hurts -

he should be told it - especially -

if you feel safe enough with him

at this point - -

but if at the crux of it - you feel he is perhaps
not safe - though three years?

and not helping?

i am with larry - i would find another -
but feel it out - trust yourself in the sense
to be rational - perhaps talk to
Ken Singer - first too


peace -

you are taking care of you well - !
you feel something is wrong

you are trusting yourself
by reaching out - that is good

well done

i am glad you are taking care \:\)

even if right now --it isn't all perfect -

you at least are aware and working to fix it! \:\)
mgb

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#15093 - 04/24/06 09:49 AM Re: Wanting to give up
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
nice work so far!

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#15094 - 04/24/06 10:50 AM Re: Wanting to give up
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
it is very very unnerving too -

to read books - and accept 'others'

terms too - when so often they have been the source of control over me -

and so - i hear your panic hear if that is what i am hearing -

all i can say - for me too -

is that i need to learn how to manage my anger -

at all the imperfect shit - and slights i feel from so many

who would rather just punch you around - and
say 'your my friend'

which seems a load of shit at times -

those though you really love and believe in -

stay with - who you feel there is a

relationship you can live with -

with all "my" imperfections or tendencies -

and the 'others'

make sense?

good luck and peace-

love

Mark

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#15095 - 04/24/06 10:52 AM Re: Wanting to give up
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i am no expert at this - but i have friends

now i am believing in - doubt is human -

remembering doubting thomas?

doubt is a pretty scary thing - it can change everthing - inside for a moment -

but go with 'light' if you can

it's new to me ...

mgb

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#15096 - 04/25/06 11:11 PM Re: Wanting to give up
Born to Resist Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/05
Posts: 269
Loc: Southern California, USA
Martym,

Have you tried support groups? There are several groups up in LA mostly 12 step programs. I drive up to Marina del Rey for a non 12 step program. I'll PM you with the information (anyone else wants info for SoCal just let me know). Try and renogiate what you need from your therapist ... what's working what's not working. If this doesn't help you may also want to consider looking for a new therapist if you feel that your current therapist isn't helping you.

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality


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#15097 - 04/25/06 11:15 PM Re: Wanting to give up
Born to Resist Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/05
Posts: 269
Loc: Southern California, USA
Martym,

Realized that you turned off your PM usage. I'll post the info in the classifeds as to not detract from this thread.

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality


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#15098 - 04/26/06 12:58 AM Re: Wanting to give up
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Martym, Got the same problem. And because I can't get them to believe me, I have trouble believing me, too. It's so hard to heal when you put an "if" in front of it. Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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