dan,

At the very least you need to ge checked out. I've had gastro-intestinal issues and they are not fun, to put it lightly. Don't let this trouble continue.

Dan --

It's better if you could see a doctor and disclose what happened. But if you can't, you can still see a doctor about the blood. It's a way of taking care of yourself -- helping yourself.

I just almost died because I don't like going to doctors. I had this abdominal pain and fever, and ignored it for weeks. It turned out to be a ruptured appendix, and a doctor (when someone finally demanded I see one) had to yell at me: "Get in your car and go to the Emergency Room! Now!!!"

I'm glad I did.

The embarrassment of that one visit will go by quickly, but the relief if it turns out to be nothing, or getting the help you need if something's wrong, is important! And knowing that you can get help and fix a problem, even a problem as personal as this, is very empowering. It's part of being a survivor.

You couldn't heal or control the abuse, but here's something you can get help for. Please try.

MV

Go see the doc, you eventually may have to.
The risk of infection is obvious.
Docs are well used to dealing with this
sort of issue,

ste

"I'd rather die than let anyone find out"...that fear is terribly strong!! Almost as strong as our fear someone would discover our abuse!! "If anyone knew my secret...then????" This is a time to think of your safety! - to put your health before all else!! "The Secret" has been kept long enough!! When you were able to tell our community about what happened to you..I bet that was frightening. But once the secret was out...you may have felt relief...not alone again!! "The secret" you are keeping about the bleeding can be just as fearful to let out but also very damaging if not told! Dan, you and your life and health, I believe, is worth more than anything else that can be! I'm not telling YOU MUST GO but I really encourage you, Dan, to get your body healed, settled and free from the secrets that can harm you!! One more step in the journey!!

Howard (((Dan)))

Dan,

Please understand that no one is trying to drag you into something that badly scares you. Your reaction is NORMAL! Any teenager and most of us adults would also have a lot of negative feelings about this. We are just interested in your health and safety.

Do you think you could call a medical helpline or a teen crisis line? Those are anonymous and someone there would be able to talk to you directly on the phone.

Just remember bro, you have done NOTHING wrong and NOTHING to be ashamed about. And Howard is so right: I have done so many things in my recovery that at first I considered to be impossible.

Much love,
Larry

Dan, this might help you:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003130.htm

Thanks, Nobbynobs!! I'm glad you could share that information. I really hope it helps you, Dan. The cause may not be what you fear the most!! I'd hate to see something serious let go because of fear only to realize that it was a lower bowel infection - very treatable!!

Howard

Dan,

If you cant SAY the words to a Doc, please consider writing it out on a note to hand to him.

Just an idea..but it may help you communicate this to the Doc.

Rob

well I went to see the doctor today
according to the doc's diagnosis, the bleeding is the result of what he calls an 'anal fissure', which can result from any kind of "trauma to the rectum"
apparently these fissures heal over time but they can reopen fairly easily..that might explain why it came back after 9 months
he asked some embarrassing questions of course and there was no chance that I was about to tell him what actually happened..(my parents would have been informed on the spot)..
so when he asked if I had had any violent bowel movements that might have caused a fissure I said yes right away
he seemed satisfied with the explanation
he gave me some meds and a printout of how to alter my diet to decrease the chances of the fissure reoccuring
glad that's over

I'm glad you had the courage to go to the doctors, Dan!! Instead of worrying and hiding "the secret", isn't it better to know what was happening and it's treatable? I applaud you for stepping out on your journey!!!


Howard