Is it OK if we see the "goods" for you until you are able to see it for yourself? It's there, My Friend. We'll hold it safe till you can find it.

Lots of love,

John

J,

The damaged goods feeling is common amoung abuse survivors. As they say "I've been there and have the T-shirt." You were damaged by the past, yes, but you are not damaged goods. You can heal from it, it just takes time. Everyone here will help you as you need it as well.

I don't know what to say. I have conflicting feelings about all this. The first I can identify is sadness that it exists at all! And its not the only site designed for this purpose. The second, overwhelmed, that there are so many men out there in the same boat. Thirdly, anger that we had something taken away from us without our consent. Finally, fear that confronting my past will open up a can or worms and I'll wish I never had.

:-(

J,



Many guys mention this at some point, but the answer is that the can of worms is there anyway and doing its damage whether we admit its presence or not. It's always better to open it. Yes, you are right, it will be tough and you may wish you had never done it. But the payback is worth it, let me tell you.

In any case, J, I wonder if you haven't opened the can already. You have looked for a place to talk because this is what you feel you need, right?

Remember that hanging out here puts you under no obligation. Your presence here is for YOUR benefit. Talk and post when you can and ask questions when you have them, but above all stay safe for now and just ease into things on the site as you feel comfortable with them. No one will judge or blame you here.

Much love,
Larry

J,

See? You aren't alone, because I think just about every survivor has those same emotions. Welcome, Brother.

J47,

From another "former Texan" let me say that we are all here for you. I'm pretty new here too, but this place is safe. The support and advice is here and I have found myself "hanging out" here just soaking it all up. I advise you to do the same. It's great to feel less alone. That is how I feel when I come here.

Less alone.

-Andrew

Welcome to MS J. I am sorry to hear what has happened to you.Please remember it was NOT your fault. you have made a big step in the right direction just by opening up.

duncan

J47,

I feel like damaged goods for all sorts of reasons, but lately I've moved up to the dented cans section: intact but willng to face things. Ain't got any holes, the label is torn but I know that inside I have a lot of good stuff to offer. Take me as I am because I am full of surprises.

No one points a finger at me saying look at that can, ain't that disgusting. No. They just say welcome fellow dented can, you are home.

Don't give up.

I haven't had any princes kiss me lately, but 'hope springs eternal.'

froggy 12

Froggy,

I have been holding on. I brought two children into the world and while dealing with all the horrors of my childhood, I have been determined to protect them as much as humanly possible from the evils that seek out to harm children. While not completely out of the woods with them yet they are now mature and strong individuals capable to defending themselves against it. They have given me ample reason to hold on. However, aside from the joy of seeing them grow into the beautiful people they are today, I am in the deepest part of my psyche and soul, so alone. It is cold there, a place I know intimately and to this day it seems as no one else has ever been able to follow me there.
I am sure you can relate. Its like visiting a grave and I know very well who is buried there. Yet, I can't seem to cry about it. But I want to scream because its me at age 4!

J,

Can I ask you if you have a T? The reason I ask is that in order to recover we have to allow ourselves to feel again - and that means going back to all the feelings that terrified us as boys. A good T will know how all this works and will be able to guide you through with a minimum of new pain and trauma.

Much love,
Larry