Cedric, you're asking a very complex question. There are a bunch of reason a guy could have orgasm or even erection problems. Many straight guys hit these bumps in the performance road. Some guys lose their erections prior to completing the sex act or ejaculate too early, too late or not at all. This is a good exploration to do with your T. or someone they refer you to. However, most of us leap to the fearful question, am I gay? There are so many other avenues to look into first. You might want to read a book on Male Orgasm/Ejaculation; or might want to search the topic through Google; and a host of other options.
One issue that will stop sex cold is worrying about your performance. Embarrasment. Fear of failure. what if [fill in the blank], etc. Worry builds up our stress levels. Stress re-routes our circulation leaving little for the area we "really, really need the blood to be" [erection]!
Gay men I know can generally orgasm with a female. I'm sure other guys here can let you in on that better than I.
I have problems with very long posts or responses. If you have questions, PM me and I'll try to answer as best I can. Don't be too hard on yourself, Cedric - keep seeking answers!!
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd