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#148380 - 04/02/07 02:21 PM getting sick
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
starting to get sick here.

i guess - i am not looking for sympathy - but

i think the idea i wrote to larry a bit before - has a lot to do with this -

filling the time almost constantly to deal with the pain -

- to avoid - dealing with maybe - my panic attacks

and cowardice -? my view of what the working world must be like

as an independent creative - blown sky high -

was so tainted - by - the past experiences - with my

dirt bag father - but actually - i am pretty - ok with myself -

now - and i realize the hallmark of a butthead like him -

i do not have to work with dirt bags


in my twenties when i worked at a bookstore -

i met another bookseller - about 70 years old -
i was 24 ?

he invited me to dinner at his condo -

- and poured alchohol - again -

i had no friends at this time - and was seriously upset with

confusion -

he then told me things - about myself -

and then - asked for sex -

i think assholes like this - can go fuck themselves -

he told me - i probably would never have relationships -

- fotunately - i bolted when he asked for sex -

but i realize - that - despite the fear - of life -

- i know there ARE good people out there -

and I know how to spot a bad guy now too -

--

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#148387 - 04/02/07 02:53 PM Re: getting sick [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i just remembered -

i have an art drinks party - to go to in boston on april 5th

i employed a handyman

in boston -

who - said that his son is a painter - who does quite well in new york and europe -

and he likes to give back -

he'll be in town - for a party

and he sent me the time and place -

i know i have a damned good portfolio on dvd

if this guy's a turd -

i know now - how to flush \:\)

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#148430 - 04/02/07 08:03 PM Re: getting sick [Re: markgreyblue]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

I think it will always hurt to discover that someone is taking advantage of our good will; it's such an utterly cheap shot. But we aren't defenseless like we were years ago. I like your way of putting it:

Originally Posted By: markgreyblue
if this guy's a turd -

i know now - how to flush \:\)


Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#148567 - 04/03/07 10:25 AM Re: getting sick [Re: roadrunner]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
yes.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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