I'd like you to realize the crime first.

His rage fits were so severe; I had to sleep with my .22 rifle (loaded) under my bed...at 8-13 years old. I would be kicked so hard that I'd lose control of bodily function. I was face to face with a demonic mad-dog that would have been shot-dead by any reasonable armed adult (no hyperbole here). This went on for SO many years. It was key to the CSA continuing un-addressed for all those years.

Realize this too. He was a great provider of stuff and financial security. That's what WW2 generation valued. He sees things through that filter. This guy revolutionized areas of industry in immeasurable ways. Ways that keep millions fed in safe and efficient modes. He helped to open trade with a China, in deep food-crisis, right on the heels of President Nixon's visit to Peking. He was one of the first industrialists to engage in heavy trade with Japan. He holds more patents than I can count. By HIS standards...he is one hell of a success!!!

The Confrontation Tonight:

1) I opened with a "state of the union" address....what I've been dealing with...the doctors, the flashbacks, the medications, possible forced conditions etc...

2) Told him that some of the source of my trouble was from his incidents of rage when I was a kid.

---He claimed total ignorance of these rage-fits.

I can believe that. When the mad-dog would emerge, he was NOT my father. He was a daemon incarnate.

I discussed the nature of the events and that they were so traumatic that they are being replayed in the form of PTSD flashbacks today. That the trauma affected every aspect of my life...on and on with all the ramifications we all know here at MS.

I told him I was at a loss of what I need to do with this, given that he does not remember...but at least discussing this would tear-down the wall I had built up.

He was fully devastated. HE APPOLOGIZED! I FORGAVE HIM!

As little Robbie, I fantasized about the day I would be old enough and large enough to hold him accountable for it. I promised myself it would happen (during my "mirror conversations" with myself). Little Robbie got that tonight.

WE survived it...father and son.

I will go on with my recovery with my father in my corner (though he may never know about the CSA...it may be too much for him to ever handle). Plus...my children will have their grandfather back.

That's all I have tonight.

Thank you all for standing by me. Thank you for your concern and prayers. I'm so thankful for all of you...for MS...for God's hand in this.

Robbie

Robbie,

The tears in my eyes prevent me from fully seeing the screen as I type. I'm thrilled for you, Bro. What an awesome thing for you to have accomplished. I cannot think of a better ending, and it all happened because you were willing to take a risk, a huge risk. You came out the winner and your life will never be the same. It will be forever changed for the better.

You have my admiration and love,

John

Very very good. You needed to do this. I suspect that nothing will really "change" even after doing this but we both know you had to do it in order to move on.

Rob? You need to tell him about the abuse SOMETIME I think. Just my thoughts. You see, once he dies, you can't change your mind and decide to tell him THEN.

It seems to me that he's had a change of heart in his golden years. I don't think that it will be too much for him to handle. I think you should tell him SOMETIME soon about your CSA and his role in it.

I am so happy for you !! I KNEW in my heart that it would work out. Why, you might ask? Because you DESERVE it. Yes, you do.
And I believe in the power of prayer. Its obvious that you have a lot of folks here in your corner. Its a wonderful feeling, isn't it? YOU DID IT !!!

A round of applause for the little and big Robbie here. Great job, keep up with the tempo.

All the best,

"Jesus loves the hell out of me!" He sure does Robbie.
Jesus was with you today, standing by your side.

Prayer does make a difference.

Long day for you. Take Care.

Rob

I am so glad it went well. Your story is one of encouragement to all of us.

I am proud of you my friend!

Rob,

I am proud to call you my friend. You are a hero to many for your courage and strength here. But, more importantly, as important and successful as your father may be, you showed him in one heart felt exchange this evening that you have outgrown him in wisdom, compassion, and strength.

Could any father want more from a son? Congratulations, your story will inspire many.

Robbie, you have taken the power he had away from him, and he would not dare use it again.
The day you always dreamt of came, and you were strong enough to make him look so small.

I hope he can make something good of it,

ste