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#146874 - 03/24/07 08:15 PM Feeling more alive....
beccy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
I just wanted to say, i feel more alive this evening than i have in a long time.

Thankyou Morningstar for that suggestion about figuring out what my soul needed. That was so helpful. \:\)


I did some real hard thinking about the ways i've felt about things which have happened between me and my bf. It's been pretty heavy stuff and turned this week upside down, but it's been stuff i've needed to properly address for a long time. We've been talking a fair bit over the past couple of days and i've been honest about these things. Thank god we can actually talk properly now. I still feel a bit confused about some things, but i'm going to carry on thinking about stuff. It's a bit of a 'messy' place to be in, but it's still better than the depression.



Anyway, just wanted to add that, since my last post.
and thankyou for all your replies to that post.


peace
Beccy


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#146878 - 03/24/07 08:46 PM Re: Feeling more alive.... [Re: beccy]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
How Very Cool, Beccy! Awesome! Happy you've been able to open the lines of communication and glad of the effect (I never can remember whether it's effect or affect \:\( ) it's had on your state of mind. It's got to be a positive help for him as well.

Happy thoughts!

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#146935 - 03/25/07 08:43 AM Re: Feeling more alive.... [Re: WalkingSouth]
beccy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
Thankyou John,


Yes, i think this has been an important communication for us both and i hope things can start making a little more sense....


It's just that from what he said, his experience of some things we've been through together seems to be different than mine, so it is complicated. But i did feel he listened and took in how some of it's been for me, which is a relief, and a far step away from how things used to be.


peace
Beccy


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#146973 - 03/25/07 04:21 PM Re: Feeling more alive.... [Re: beccy]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
I think one of the most important things in communicating with the one we love is to remember not to own the other person's stuff (easier said than done, I know). Also it is important how we communicate how we feel.

For instance, instead of saying "You made me feel X feelings," which is a confrontational statement, a person can use the something like "When you said that, X is how I felt," which is a statement owing your own feeling in reaction to what the other person said.

My wife and I have been working so hard on these simple ways of communication, but it's been slow progress.

Hope the communications between you guys can continue to be productive.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#146975 - 03/25/07 04:43 PM Re: Feeling more alive.... [Re: WalkingSouth]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
That's good to hear that things are going good with the communication, beccy. I find that my own worst times with my spouse are when I clam up are start shutting down rather than voicing what is going on.

_________________________
Eddie

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