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#148605 - 04/03/07 12:56 PM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: cbfull]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
perps are not gay or straight they are just fucked up . i think there is a huge difference between having sex with a man and having sex with a boy. if perps fit into any de>
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#148628 - 04/03/07 03:22 PM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: Russ2]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
You know what is SO cool about this topic and this entire site?? I have YET to see/hear ANY judging of sexual orientation!!!

No one even ASKS! It does not matter here!! That is SO cool!!!

Thank God for THAT!!!

No Judging!!!

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#148766 - 04/04/07 08:21 AM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: Still]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Robbie, you hit the nail on the head. I have not once picked up on the slightest hint that "unconventional" sexuality is by any means questionable.

It seems that everyone here understands that words hurt us, and judging wounds us. Whether we identify (and I believe that is an accurate word, society pressures us to "identify") as same-sex sexuality, opposite-sex sexuality, or ANYTHING in between. It all counts, and it is all worth exploring and cherishing for whomever has the opportunity and the desire to experience it. If this weren't true, it wouldn't cause such a terrific stir!

If you guys haven't seen this yet, there is an eye-opening msnbc report here:
Gay animals out of the closet?

And a link to LiveScience.com which is on that msnbc page.

However, to get back on topic, if I were never abused, I believe that at some point I would have experimented with opposite-sex sexuality. The abuse sort of hijacked my freshly discovered same-sex sexuality and wrote a sort of self-executing program in my brain that took all my mental and sexual resources and focused them on unhealthy sexual desires. In this way it made it many times more difficult for me to see myself as masculine, confident and strong. "Why can't I experience pleasure with a woman?" That question shook the very core my being. I was terrified of it, and of what I thought it meant.

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Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#148768 - 04/04/07 08:25 AM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: Russ2]
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
speaking only for myself, I know as surely as I know anything in this world that I was abused because I was gay; NOT gay because I was abused. Just my 2 cents worth, guys.

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"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

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#148784 - 04/04/07 10:08 AM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: george of kent]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
I would have to agree with you george, I think my perp noticed my vulnerability and exploited it. I was having homosexual inclinations before he stepped into the picture.

Craig

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Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#149807 - 04/09/07 07:05 AM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: Russ2]
J47 Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 6
I ask myself that all the time! Being raped at 4 and used well into my teens by other males in my life, I wonder if I was taught and learned to be homosexual. Could I have been str8? Possibly, but does it matter now? I don't know because I have gotten to a place where I have accepted that I only find men attractive and sexually appealing. I only think about love with another man and women rarely if ever cross my mind as potential mates. The only drawback being a survivor of CSA is that I don't trust men. Its a catch 22!


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#149848 - 04/09/07 12:19 PM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: J47]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
J47,

I hope you can resolve this conflict in a way that allows you to be honest with yourself about who you are sexually and still feel you are sexually fulfilled. That's it. Be who you are and let others worry on their own about the labels.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#149892 - 04/09/07 06:30 PM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: roadrunner]
J47 Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 6
Hi Rodarunner:

Not a day goes by that I wish I could do just that. However, I can't go back and therapy never did help me figure that part out. Its something I feel I may have to live with for the rest of my life. Thanks for caring,

J


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#151422 - 04/18/07 08:32 AM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: jamie']
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN

Jamie
Quote:
I'm just curious and somewhat convinced in the idea that homosexual abuse would have an impact on your sexuality in later life.


I think being abused by a female at an young age could have an effect also on confusing one sexuality. I do believe that the abuse caused me to look in both directions when I was trying to discover my sexuality. Tom

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#151435 - 04/18/07 10:11 AM Re: Homosexuality related to CSA [Re: Muldoon]
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Re: all of the above. Yeah, it was considered a mental illness, then deviant behavior, but it's the XY stuff that determines the preferance, real early on. And there are some who still believe in a flat earth. Larry is right, you are responsible to yourself, no one else.

Some therapists haven't a clue. One told me she knew all about the topic 'since 2 lived in her student dorm at UCLA.' [sic] OK. I still believe in the tooth fairy. I wonder when there's going to be a tube of Ben-straight on the shelves for those nervous about using Bengay?

froggy

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