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#159384 - 06/01/07 07:35 PM Re: moving around [Re: MemoryVault]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

Like Eddie comments, I think it's so cool how you reacted to the whole thing. This other boy is clearly having problems of some sort and just freaked out. It's difficult to guess why, but the point is that you didn't let it blow up into a brawl by reacting to him. That shows a lot of maturity on your part.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#159387 - 06/01/07 07:44 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

Originally Posted By: Stefan012
So... what's safe anyway? I've never known.


Safe will be when your boundaries are respected and you feel you have the knowledge and power you need to recognize these boundaries and make sure they are maintained.

I know what your next question will be: How do I recognize good boundaries and what can I do to keep people from crossing them? It's a matter of exprience, bro, that and confidence. Survivors often have such long experience of having others violate their boundaries that it seems normal. We also find it difficult to insist that our boundaries be respected; after all, abuse taught us that what we need and want doesn't count and that if we are hurt it's no big deal.

Working on our boundaries issues isn't easy, Stefan, but it's central to what we are trying to do in recovery. It's our future. And it can be done - it just takes time, like all the other things we are trying to accomplish.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#159610 - 06/03/07 11:56 AM Re: moving around [Re: roadrunner]
Alexander Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 223
Loc: The Netherlands
Yeah that's really cool you didn't hit back and all.
Good that you are ok, hope you will be able to feel safe there.. and in the next places.

Alexander

_________________________
Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

Top
#161543 - 06/14/07 04:08 AM Re: moving around [Re: Alexander]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
Gonna move again next week.

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#161548 - 06/14/07 05:59 AM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

Thanks for letting us know. How are you feeling about all this moving around these dasy? Any thoughts?

Hang in there, my friend. You only have to put up with this until October, right?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#161580 - 06/14/07 11:38 AM Re: moving around [Re: roadrunner]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Good luck, Stefan. Hope it's a good place. Hope it's all good places from now on!

David


Top
#161599 - 06/14/07 03:27 PM Re: moving around [Re: MemoryVault]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
It's getting a bit annoying all that moving. Like you have to get used to new people, a new home, etc every so many weeks. At least for now I will be having holidays until end of august so at least no school stress also.
Official graduation from highschool will be in about 2 weeks or so. I'm gonna be the only one whit no parents or relatives, that's going to be a bit weird.. But o well it's just a few hours it will be fine.
I'm turning 18 in october so then I can officially go live on my own in a studenthouse. I hope to be on top of the waitinglist by then so that I can actually go and look for a room. So I should be able to go live on my own in october/november this year, in a studenthouse. That should be much better.

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#161620 - 06/14/07 07:42 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Stefan,

Just keeping you in my thoughts. You can do it! Just hang on.

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#161818 - 06/16/07 09:14 AM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

Originally Posted By: Stefan012
Official graduation from highschool will be in about 2 weeks or so. I'm gonna be the only one whit no parents or relatives, that's going to be a bit weird.. But o well it's just a few hours it will be fine.


No, it's not fine at all for a guy to be graduating from high school with no one to support him and congratulate him on the big day. Please let us know when the big day is, okay? I know a lot of us will want to know and would love to share our thoughts with you. You may have no parents or blood relatives to share the moment with, but you have a TON of brothers who are very proud of you. \:\)

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#162381 - 06/19/07 10:13 PM Re: moving around [Re: roadrunner]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
I'm moving tomorrow. So the chairdance starts again. yay.

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
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