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#156462 - 05/16/07 12:17 PM Re: moving around [Re: Chain Breaker]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

Glad to hear the curfew is gone and it's great you seem to be getting along with the new fosters. I hope that at least you are moving around in the same local area.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#156496 - 05/16/07 01:36 PM Re: moving around [Re: Chain Breaker]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
Thanks everyone.

I'm just trying to keep concentrated and learn at least some of the stuff I should for upcoming tests.
I'm supposed to be graduating from high school this year.
Concentration isn't something I'm doing well at though, at the moment.
I'm not really concerned that I will fail to the point of that I won't be able to graduate... I have had mostly good marks so far... But yeah I dunno I can't afford to get only marks 5 and lower though. I'm not sure how I will do at the tests. (5.5 being enough to pass, 1 lowest mark, 10 highest mark).
I guess I'll found out soon enough.

I should be getting back results from the court thing soon too.

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

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#156651 - 05/17/07 12:02 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

I bet your studies seem unreal compared to the other things on your mind right now. Have you spoken to a doctor or theraist about this? Maybe there's something they can give you to help ease the stress.

Good luck with the court results, my friend. But you know what? Regardless of the results you did a very brave thing - and it was the RIGHT thing as well. Never forget that.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#156742 - 05/17/07 05:51 PM Re: moving around [Re: roadrunner]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
Most likely will stay in same town so that is good.
It's just hard to concentrate.
No I don't speak with a doctor or therapist.
Fosters are ok. They are like 'well as long as you don't make noise when you get home and wake people up and stay out of trouble it's fine whit us'.
While this, graduating, the test etc, is all everyone seems to be able to talk of, it's the last thing that is on my mind..

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#156903 - 05/18/07 11:24 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan I would discuss this with your doctor, just to see what he/she suggests. These exams coming up are pretty important, yeah?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#159270 - 05/31/07 08:26 PM Re: moving around [Re: roadrunner]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
I think I have done okey on some and not so good at others... But if I'm right not so bad as to endanger graduating. My grades troughout the rest of the years have al been okay/good.

Something totally else. So I said I had moved right. Well that was ok, no more stupid rules. Also here kids come and go.
Like about 6 days ago some kid came he's about my age like 16 I think maybe 15. Well he has a lot of anger/behavourial problems. He's doing drugs too, I know this for sure. Like just weed but when combined whit alcohol it's bad, none of them are good of course but combined even worse.

So I don't know what overcome me when I was sitting downstairs for a change watching tv, waiting for dinnertime this evening..
He comes barging in saying he wants to watch something else, changes the channel and when I object he just goes into a blind rage. I don't know what happens to him or if he's like this more often but that was sorta scary to see really.

Anyway I was sitting on the cough and he was towering over me and he just started to punch me in the face, I tried to protect myself but I had a hard time doing that because I was sitting down and it was a low cough so I couldn't get up well under the rain of punches. Thankfully the fosterfather there was also home and got him of me even he had troubles doing that though. He kept screaming and trying to kick him then calmed down after a while. So he's taken away from here by youthcare like inmedeatly, I'm not sure what they will do whit him now.

So nothing to worry about I just got some bruises, a black eye and well the right side of my face is pretty banged up and I'm not sure if I will sleep very well tonight but yeah that's about it. Took me to the doctor to be sure but it's just some bruises, no concussion or anything so that's good.

But wow that was intense!
I hope they get him some good help cause he can't keep on exploding like this forever what if he beats someone and that person hits his head wrong or something, he could kill someone.

So that's my soapstory of the day lol.

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#159289 - 05/31/07 10:44 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Wow...that's rough. Are you okay now that it's over? Do you still feel safe there?

David


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#159290 - 05/31/07 10:55 PM Re: moving around [Re: MemoryVault]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi Stefan,

Sorry this happened to you, I can't begin to imagine what I would have done in that situation. But the thing that really strikes me in all this, is that at the end of your post you said that you hope he gets some help. That shows incredible compassion on your part. Instead of ranting about what a jerk he was or whatever, you choose to hope he gets help. That says a lot about your character, my friend.

_________________________
Eddie

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#159321 - 06/01/07 09:33 AM Re: moving around [Re: EGL]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
I was thinking. Did I react the same way as when my father would have hit me? I'm not sure.
I didn't hit back but that's not a good thing to do anyway I think. And I didn't get the change either I would have had to get of that bank first.
I was just trying to defend myself trying to protect my face whit my arm. But that's just normal too.
I was much like whoa, what's happening, if it had been my dad back then I wouldn't have been like that cause it was as normal to get hit to me as breathing and eating almost.
I did go into 'survival mode' though. You know like shutting of emotions, try to defend yourself (as i mentioned earlier), all that stuff. So while I was pretty much emotionless about it yesterday it has shaken me up some today.

I do feel safe here I guess, but I don't think I will be looking at other boys around my age I come to live whit maybe, the same way as before. Esp when I know they do drugs or alcohol. I'll be more on guard.

I do feel safe at these places but then again what is safe it has never been safe for me anywhere until they placed me out, it's supposed to be safe anyway now.
But you never get really used to the places either and you don't let yourself get used to them either cause you know you gotta leave soon anyway, it's only 6-8 weeks and you gotta move again.

And then there's the first fosterfamily I lived whit, ever, while my parents had had a carcrash and my mother died and my father was in hospital/recovery for about 7 months.
They def weren't safe. Same thing happened there as what happened at home. While he wouldn't hit me he would do all the s.abuse stuff. I can't shake that time of completely, esp not now I'm in fosterhomes again.
So... what's safe anyway? I've never known.

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#159345 - 06/01/07 12:33 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
I hear you, Stefan... One day, you'll be in your own place, in a world you have a lot more control over. But until then, you're being amazingly strong and insightful.

I guess safety, ultimately, is the strength you have inside--it's your sense of humor and knowing that you can handle things that come at you from out of the blue, like a kid freaking out. It's the sense of "I've been through worse than this." It's knowing that you can feel strong things, get triggered, and come through with support.

David


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