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#145953 - 03/18/07 02:42 PM Re: moving around [Re: sabata]
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Stephan - Sorry you're caught in the system in more than one way!! I'm wondering if they have provided any "life skills" training?? By that I mean growing up in a home you generally find out about budgets, bill paying, etc. - the ordinary things in living independently we take for granted? Do they have an extended program like some of the guys asked? It might be an Independent Living Program? Transitional Living Program? These help support you in your transition from foster care to being on your own. Many state /county agencies have these assistance programs. For being in the system, they should have some support care.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate for 17!! We are here to support and listen!! Use all your resources as you need them!!


Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#146290 - 03/20/07 07:09 PM Re: moving around [Re: ScottyTodd]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
I'm not sure scot... but i like to think I have at least some of the skills already anyway.
After my mother died it wasn't like my father went to do everything suddenly.

So I cleaned, cooked, did bills too... that kinda stuff.
But I guess I could ask about it sometime.

I figured out that whit the job, the study funding I get from government and the money i can .. borrow.. from government also, I should be able to do it financially wise.

That's ok anyway it's not like we had much money when I lived at home either.
Just social welfare and my father used most of it what was left over after paying the bills, for beer anyway.

I live in The Netherlands, so this system is probably a bit different then from the states though.

thanks for the replies everyone.

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#146753 - 03/23/07 08:19 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
I moved to the new place yesterday, thursday.
They seem ok.
Sure more crowdy and loud though, lol, as they have at the moment also 4 other kids, two boys, two girls.
They are much younger though, 10-13 or so.
The girls got to share a room and the boys also, thankfully I have my own room though.. That's a relief.

I haven't properly checked on the 'life skills training' thing yet, but I believe there are houses for 16,17,18 year olds where you live whit some other people around this age.. To learn how to live on yourself.
There's always some from the staff though day and night.
I'm not sure what qualifications you need to be able to get a place there or if that's something for me.
I'll try and check it out. We'll see.
I don't know if I want to live in such a house, but if it means not having to change places for a longer period, maybe it might be worth it.

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#146921 - 03/25/07 02:43 AM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Bottom line is that you'll do ok in the end. You seem to have a core of common sense and an intelligence about you that will get you through. Just keep hooked in to your sources of strength.

Safe hugs,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#147400 - 03/28/07 09:26 AM Re: moving around [Re: WalkingSouth]
Alexander Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 223
Loc: The Netherlands
Hey Stefan

I know switching families isn't fun, as like you know, I've done that for half a year too.
Just keep talking to your contactperson, if she knows what's on your mind she can help you whit it.
I'm glad you can stay in the same city, school, cus it seems you have a lot of friends there.
For me it didn't matter much, I didn't have friends anyway, the school I didn't like that much either, so switching schools wasn't a big issue.
Hopefully you'll be able to get a more permanent place anyway.

Alexander

_________________________
Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

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#147401 - 03/28/07 09:32 AM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Somehow I missed this, just hope that one of the families agree to keep you for longer.
You sure need a break from all the uncertainty.

Keep your head up, and I hope things improve,

ste


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#147406 - 03/28/07 10:23 AM Re: moving around [Re: sabata]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

This is going to be a hard six months for you, that's for sure. What you really need is stability, not shifting around every few weeks.

So the question for us is this: How can we help?

One thing we can do is help you deal with your feelings about all this. For example, how do you feel about moving around like this? It's important that you understand this isn't a judgment against you personally, it's just how the system works.

Do you feel unsafe with this moving around? After what your father has done, and what happened in foster care earlier, I can just imagine you might feel very vulnerable.

And what happens when you turn 18? Shadow makes a good point there. Do you have plans or ideas?

Please don't hesitate to say how you feel and what is troubling you. That's the key to resolving these issues, after all. Just know you aren't alone, okay?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#147435 - 03/28/07 01:15 PM Re: moving around [Re: roadrunner]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi all

Thanks for replying. \:\)
I don't have much time atm so I'll keep it short for now.

As whit what I'm doing when I turn 18,
I registered whit social student housevesting here, around the time I turn 18 I should be high enough on the list to get a room in one of their studenthouses.
I'm going to be studying next school year.

I don't like moving around all the time at all, but it's just how it is right now. I do understand it's the system.
What happened first time I was in fostercare when I was 14, well it doesn't help of course. But I do understand it's not gonna happen again.. But yeah feelings are different sometimes.

Thanks for letting me rant on this a bit. \:\)

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
#147452 - 03/28/07 02:28 PM Re: moving around [Re: Stefan012]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Stefan,

It sounds like you are headed into an interesting year once you turn 18. What will you study? Will you stay in the Netherlands or go abroad now that it's becoming easier for students to move around?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#147491 - 03/28/07 05:51 PM Re: moving around [Re: roadrunner]
Stefan012 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 281
Loc: The Netherlands
hi

I will be studying social juridical services, bachelor level.
It's sorta like a combination of law study and social work.
I will be staying in The Netherlands, I have no interest in going abroad.

Oh and reality, the families don't really have a choice either in how long I stay, it's just not longer then a week or 8.

Stefan

_________________________
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't

Top
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