yeah.. so how to start... I'm not sure what I want to say here.
Maybe I shouldn't.
I'm not gonna be able to change it anyway so why bother whining over it.. but ok I guess I needed to write it down or something.

So this is the thing.
I'm in fostercare as of since a few weeks. I'm 17 so its really only until I'm 18 in october.. So that's good.
Downside though is that this also means I'll be moving around all the time.. I'm to old for a permanent place.. I'm gonna have to move families every 6-8 weeks or so..
This is only the first family I'm whit, I'm gonna move to the next one in a few days though.

I'm not sure how to think about that... It will probably be so stressfull to have to move every so many weeks.
The fact that I was abused also, the first time I was in fostercare when I was 14, for 7 months, doesn't help much either I guess.
Not that I think it will happen again but it made me even more apprehensive of people... There have been to many people hurting me like that. It just brings back a lot of memories and well I feel like I have enough memories already whithout this adding to them.
I did tell my contactperson from youthcare how I feel about moving around, but she said I basically have no choice... That they most probably won't find a permanent place for me to stay until I'm 18 and can go live on my own.

Suddenly october feels so far away.
I have so many flashbacks, nightmares, even panicattacks now. Much more then before.

Yeah... so that was my rant.. Move it if it shouldn't be here.

Stefan

No matter where you move, we will always be here for you. You are very brave to be in foster care. My mom would tell me things about it that would terrify me maybe thats why I never told. Anyway just want you to know we are always here, and you can be safe and call this home at any time.

Hi Stefan,

We'll be with you whenever we can. Like Aidan said, this can be the home you don't have to move from.

Keith.

thanks

stefan ,one thing you might wanna do is try to get jobs in the places you live i know 6 weeks is not long ,but being 18 is a double edge sword when your in foster,freedom sounds so good ,but if you dont have family 18 means your out there on your own. being free is totaly cool ,but so is eating you know?if you can get used to working now it wont be hard later.

Stefan, Does your state have an aftercare program for youths in transition from the system? I know some states have agencies that will help you when you're deemed 'too old' for the foster care program. I would ask the contact person. I really hope they don't just cut you loose without some sort of guidance, but they might if you don't ask.

Good advice Shadow and Mack!

Stefan? Have you come to discover ANYTHING in your life that helps you forget the pain, the fear, and the abuse? Is there ANYTHING that just makes you happy and let's you totally forget the past and unknown future?

I'm not labeling you as a complainer at ALL. But I would love to hear you mention SOMETHING that you like or has made you happy. Does anything come to mind?

Stefan,

My care and concern go with you as you prepare for and move on to your next situation. I truly feel for you in this situation. Keep in touch when you can and remember, here you are loved.

John

Thanks everyone, for the replies.
I do have a job, I do telemarketing for charity funds. I should be able to keep it.
I'm not sure about an aftercare program.
All I know is that I can stay in the system until I have a place of my own, in my case a studentroom wich I should be able to get around the time I turn 18.

My friends make me happy.

Stefan

My best To You Stefan.....Make A Great Life For Yourself....You are worth it................Steve