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#145245 - 03/13/07 07:02 PM Very angry post - could be triggers
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Iím having such a hard time today. Last night when I asked my b/f if we could get together during the week, his response was a sigh and then a conciliatory sure, how about Thursday. I was trying to keep it light, fun, I said weíd make it a ďfunĒ date but to him, Iím just intruding. I donít fucking want to be with him if itís a fucking chore! Iím so pissed off I canít see straight and it colored everything I did today.

He started his own company a year ago and Iíve been doing his books. He wants to pay me! WTF! At first, I just laughed and told him donít be silly. He does things for me and I do things for him - thatís the way it works. This has gone on for a few weeks now and itís pissing me off. Itís just business he says. No itís fucking NOT. Itís just one more thing in a long line of things. God forbid he should feel beholden to someone - me of all people. If we were married, or even sharing the same household, Iíd say sure, pay me a fortune and weíll keep the money all in one place but thatís not the case. Iím not an employee, Iím his girlfriend trying to help him out with a new venture. Why is that concept lost on him?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

FUCK FUCK FUCK Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream at the top of my lungs at him and anyone else who comes near me. Heís been in therapy for over a year and what has it accomplished? I donít know anymore. He goes and gets himself totally stressed, sad and miserable. In spite of everything, he still fights himself. He is his own worst enemy and heís making me his enemy now. I donít want this! I want to have a conversation about anything that doesn't turn out with me having to console him or tell him that the things I feel aren't what he thinks I feel. I want to not have to defend myself and my life and my belief system. I'm tired of defending the world and having to explain that not all people are bad. Iím tired of being lumped in with ďpeopleĒ as if thatís a bad thing! I want the SOB to listen to me to listen to his T and to believe it or at least fucking try to! I want love. I want fun. I want to go to a movie, dinner a show, a parade. I want to be with friends who do something other than drink! I want to be able to spend more than a night or two with him. I want a fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want him to stop insisting --- in-fucking-sisting --- that he is the only one. I want him to come here. I want him to interact with other survivors. I want him to grow the fuck up and recognize what he's done for himself - all by himself - with no fucking help from family. I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want..............................

I'm well aware that this post is mean-spirited and angry - no need for anyone to tell me that. I feel mean-spirited and angry!

Iím having a really bad day.

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#145246 - 03/13/07 07:10 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
I'm so falling apart right now

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#145248 - 03/13/07 07:14 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11179
Loc: Denver, CO
Trish,

To me, you have a right to feel angry. It sounds like a mighty frustrating time. You are trying to be nice and helpful, and this offer to pay you feels like being reduced to just an hourly wage instead of being a helpful friend.

I tried to put myself in your bf's head for just a moment to try and think why he would be letting things take this path. What came to my mind was that when I was growing up under mother perp, her idea of doing things was always exchange for exchange. Her way of life taught me that if someone is being nice to me, they want something back. Her way never taught me that it was alright to just do something nice for someone and let it go. It was always "you owe me something now." I don't know, does this example provide any kind of a useful mental jog?

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#145249 - 03/13/07 07:21 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
jamie' Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/09/07
Posts: 125
Loc: Ont, Can
I'm sorry to hear your having a bad day. And i cant really relate. What i can say is i was in a relationship with a women and i had my issues and at the end what she told me is i'm so negative i make her want to kill herself. she said i have issue's from my childhood that are destroying me and making me want to destroy other people. All i did was drink she said. Then she left.

And dispite the fact i didnt ever recipricate her intimacy. Her wanting to be close. Showing i cared. I really did, i was just scared and uncomfterble to show it. And i accepted her leaving as the right thing for her. She wanted to live, i wanted to live aswell but i got to comfterble just excisting and destroying myself instead.

I also understood and always will that it's hard to be with people with these kind's of issues. Nobody could blame you for feeling the way you do.

_________________________
No matter how long and dark the night is, Or the fear and hurt that it can bring, there will always be a dawn, where we can push the past aside and move forward with hope.

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#145250 - 03/13/07 07:26 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
And I think anyone else would feel the same way in your shoes. Sigh. I'm no help. I too want to go to a movie, or have a date or just dinner together, or just a conversation and I'm married!

My T says she might be detecting some "personality disorders" in my husband....that have to be diagnosed by her boss to know for sure. I've begun to wonder sometimes, if that is true, is it possible he *cannot* ever improve enough to love me, to give to me, to appreciate me, to be a regular guy? Is there a biological reason these things can never be? If they have delusional thinking, that can't be "talked out" through therapy, it is biological. Maybe I'm worrying too much, I hope.

Here I am, not being very consoling. The cycle that goes up and down is so brutal. I started antidepressants 3 wks ago but don't think they've kicked in yet....I'm still waiting.

A year's worth of therapy is significant, but maybe not very, for survivors. It seems everyone goes at their own pace. I wish my husband could come here also, and talk to other survivors. I can't imagine him EVER doing that for some reason. He still won't talk to ME about things.

I wish we could all be on the same "curriculum" so we'd know when graduation is. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard day, Trish. I wish I were more help. My advice is to remember not to look toward our suvivors as a significant source of our happiness. Easier said than done for people like us who love much. Until they're healed (when and if that may ever happen) they cannot give us much at all. It stinks. So focus on you, your friends, your books, your interests. It's so hard. I'm sorry.

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#145251 - 03/13/07 07:28 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Trish,

I don't have the answers, I don't even think I have one answer. I do believe however that my wife could identify with your anger. I don't know why I put her through hell but I do and the harder I try not to, it seams like the worse it gets.

I think you came to the right place to vent and I'm glad you at least have this place where you can say exactly what's on your mind.

I don't really know all the details and I probably don't need to but one of the things my wife did was to tell me something like this. "I love you very much and want to be with you, however, in order for that to happen, I need this, this, and this." She gave me a list of things she needed in order to keep the relationship alive. I gave her my list and we both, and I stress both worked hard to keep the relationship alive. If I have any advice at all it would be to say that maybe it is time to give him a list.

Hang in there and I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Love ya
Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#145254 - 03/13/07 07:37 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Derdlecar]
jamie' Offline
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Registered: 03/09/07
Posts: 125
Loc: Ont, Can
Broken unfortunalty it's more then possible but likely. PTSD can come in complex form's such as depersonalization, dissocitive PD's including identity disorder (formerly multiple PD) amoungst other thing's such as various form's of anxiety which are all coping mechanisms and i dont believe biological. BPD which is an axis II PD have an overwhelming percentage of SA in it's sufferers. And alot of these thing's can be life long, and dibilitating. Just more obsticles ontop of the core issue's. I imagine it's almost as hard to deal with for a loved one.

I apologise if you already knew all this.



Edited by jamie' (03/13/07 07:42 PM)
_________________________
No matter how long and dark the night is, Or the fear and hurt that it can bring, there will always be a dawn, where we can push the past aside and move forward with hope.

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#145257 - 03/13/07 07:45 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: jamie']
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Trish, He's playing games. I say drop out for a few days and let him get by without you. Then when he comes looking for you, tell him that you won't deal with his shit, and if he wants to continue with you, then he needs to make a real effort towards the relationship because you can't take things the way they are going.

If that doesn't work, then bail and find someone else. As much as I empathise with a fellow survivor, he has no right to treat you like crap.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#145258 - 03/13/07 07:48 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: jamie']
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Graduation Day - I like it and I sure as hell wish someone could tell us, silly I know, but wishes sometimes are.

Andy, my b/fís perp was his mother too, and his father. You never got something for nothing, which probably does have a lot to do with it. But IíM NOT HER! Iím a good person dammit who is hurting so badly right now I feel like my heart will explode out of my chest.

Jaime, he shows me love and consideration and all wonderful things and then tells me that he doesnít feel any of it. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!

Darrel, a list sounds like a good idea. Iíll try to figure out how to approach that one. When I do mine, Iíll be looking for some feedback Ďcause I really donít want to spook him, I just want to be OK. God I feel so pathetic. \:\(

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#145259 - 03/13/07 07:53 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Nobby,

Then I would be playing games too. I hear what you're saying though and I've thought about it, but I think if I bailed it would break my heart even more than how I feel now. He thinks he's doing the right thing by being in therapy, he's putting himself through hell, but the problem is, he says he's doing it for me. Well, don't do me any f'n favors! If he's not doing it for himself, then it's a colossal waste of time. That being said, somewhere in that brain of his is a desire to do something!

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#145261 - 03/13/07 08:01 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11179
Loc: Denver, CO
Trish,

Absolutely you're not her. Nor would I dare suggest that you are anything like her. And if he is seeing you in that light, I hope he continues to work at overcoming what happened to him so that it is not projected onto you (assuming that's the case).

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#145262 - 03/13/07 08:01 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
jamie' Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/09/07
Posts: 125
Loc: Ont, Can
I wish i had an answer. I think you need to do what's best for you. I'd stick it out for a bit. I imagine you've been very supportive. But at some point you'll have to stop and say what about me?. That's not unreasonable.

And if you do decide it's too much. I'll take a guess that he wouldnt blame you.

_________________________
No matter how long and dark the night is, Or the fear and hurt that it can bring, there will always be a dawn, where we can push the past aside and move forward with hope.

Top
#145265 - 03/13/07 08:08 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: jamie']
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
He wouldn't blame me at all. Isn't that what survivors do? expect the worst? He's done me wrong so he expects that I'll do the same. Well I won't! I have decent standards for myself; I have good expections of him and of others I meet; he expects everyone to be shit! Let me tell you how a partner looks at such low expectations - LIKE CRAP! He has the right to expect that I will do the right things by him with him and for him for every minute of time we are together just like I have those expectations of him. The fact that he doesn't makes me feel like shit.

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#145266 - 03/13/07 08:09 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: jamie']
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Trish, would it help if I said "I hear you"?

Not going to offer any sage advise. You've probably heard enough of that.
Not going to tell you it'll get better because I don't know enough about it to do such a thing.
Not going to tell you any of the things that a person could because it'd just be so much smoke blowing.

I'll offer you a safe hug and just say I heard every word.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
ďLifeís journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ĎHoly ____Ö! What a ride!íĒ ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#145268 - 03/13/07 08:15 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: WalkingSouth]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
It helps John and so does the 2nd glass of wine \:\) No, alcohol is not my usual form of relaxation, but sometimes, a body need something to slow it down.

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#145281 - 03/13/07 10:06 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Trish,

You're absolutely right that he is doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. Happily, sometimes the right reason manages to sneak up on us from behind.

I'm so sorry that things have gotten to this point. I hope that you find some comfort in being able to vent here. I know it's not what you want, but you know that you can always find acceptance and understanding here.

Remember that it's not your burden to heal him, no matter how much you hunger for his love and affection. Take care of yourself first, don't apologise for your needs, but don't make them anyone else's burden either.

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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#145282 - 03/13/07 10:10 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
"He shows me love and consideration and all wonderful things and then tells me that he doesnít feel any of it. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!" .....I'm right there with you. What the h*ll were those first 13 yrs of marriage about??!?!!!? How can one not feel anything after all that???

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#145283 - 03/13/07 10:12 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Brokenhearted]
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
Heh, sometimes it just feels good to yell and scream here and gripe and whine and vent and holler and seethe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Maybe we'll feel better afterward!!!!!!!!!

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#145314 - 03/14/07 01:56 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Brokenhearted]
GWsurvives Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/07
Posts: 251
Loc: Atlanta, and here, among othe...
Trish, Brokenhearted,

I wish I could tell you that it will get better.. I can't. I will tell you that it can get better. I see so much of me in your posts. AND>>> DRUM ROLL PLEASE...... I'M GETTING BETTER!!! It happens! If you love your SO.. and it seems you both do, hang in there! Don't take the "shit" personally (I know that's hard to do, but try) Also, don't take any shit. What I will tell is that you both are such wonderful people. Rant and rave... scream!!! But keep loving them.. when "it" happens, you will be richly rewarded!..

I'm glad you both are here... sorry you need to be, but glad, none the less.

GW

_________________________
"Some times there just aren't enough rocks" Forrest Gump

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#145318 - 03/14/07 03:20 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: GWsurvives]
AshSurvived Offline
Member

Registered: 01/07/07
Posts: 167
Loc: Australia
Yeah, I can relate to what your boyfriend is doing. Self-sacrificing and low self-esteem. Story of my life. My parents were aresholes too and maybe this is the common thread. I certainly think of Pelzer when reading about your boyfriend's attitude, and thinking about my own.

***I am possibly triggered***

Giving and giving and feeling numb in return. Shit I remember a time when I used to invent things, like several things a day. And in my old job people used to come to me with their problems and I would just solve them on the spot: I would dictate a comedy>
_________________________
"It's your world Dave, I'm just livin' in it"

- Harvey Pekar to David Letterman
(American Splendour)

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#145336 - 03/14/07 08:11 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
riviera Offline
Member

Registered: 06/01/05
Posts: 59
Loc: Spain
Hi Trish,

Being there so many times especially the first year when my boyf would collapse quite regularly and I had to make the best of myself to help him which required at times putting all my feelings, needs aside. I know I do not need to go in details cause you already explained quite well how it feels.
I know the frustration and the anger. I used to talk to my mum or friends about me, not about my boyf. I realized that when I talked about me I was liberating all the tension, the anger and the frustration that I could never share with my boyf even if I really wanted him to know and stop him making me feel that way.

Talking about you to someone close will definetely help though I must say that twice I was very close to lose it.

I hope it helps Trish.
H



Edited by riviera (03/14/07 08:13 AM)

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#145372 - 03/14/07 03:58 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: riviera]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
You men and ladies saved my sanity last night. I was incredibly close to the edge, but you all kept me from losing my balance. I did speak with my b/f last night, still losing it unfortunately, but he stepped up and let me just feel and cry and generally be a mess. The sun came up today and I feel ready once again to deal.

Thank you..........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#145377 - 03/14/07 04:17 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
GWsurvives Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/07
Posts: 251
Loc: Atlanta, and here, among othe...
Trish.. keep standing up!!! You are a treasure!

GW

_________________________
"Some times there just aren't enough rocks" Forrest Gump

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#145415 - 03/14/07 08:21 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: GWsurvives]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Glad we could be there, Trish. \:\)

_________________________
ďLifeís journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ĎHoly ____Ö! What a ride!íĒ ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#145485 - 03/15/07 03:58 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: WalkingSouth]
kishka06 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/21/06
Posts: 38
Trish,
I meant to reply to your post earlier, but yesterday had been a rough one.

I go through the same thing with my b/f. I, too, keep it inside until I 'lose it' and he looks at me with bewilderment. I know how it feels when you get the "concilatory 'sure'" when you try to plan something, and they act like its a huge imposition.

I am so glad you made it through the other side....and that your boyfriend was listening when you spoke.
Kishka


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#145501 - 03/15/07 09:20 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: kishka06]
beccy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
Hi Trish,


I am sorry i didn't reply to your post the other day.
I just wanted to say i'm glad you vented and feel a little more positive now.....it was refreshing to read such an expressive angry post! But, i think i felt your words profoundly. they touched me deeply and saddened me to think that's how i felt for all those years when i never even knew anything about my bf's CSA, or my own experience for that matter. I simply didn't feel i had anything at all useful to contribute.....I think i may be suffering from extreme low self esteme and have done for years and i simply cannot put that all down to my bf, or our relationship. I think i've been trying to look at myself a little more and i'm afraid of what i might see and i haven't been feeling like i'm in any position to conrtibute much to these posts lately....

It's good that you allowed yourslef those feelings and came and shared them here. I am sorry you have to be going through this though. You always sound like such a 'grounded' person and i believe you must be a very healthy partner for your bf for that reason. He surely will have a greater chance to heal within a relationship like that, as you're not likely to hinder his recovery. I have seen so many changes in my bf lately and really wanted to share that positivity with you. He has been seeing a Homeopath(also trained pyschotherapist) for 1 1/2 years now and a T for the past 7 months, so it's no small time frame we're talking about......I have also been seeing the homeopath for 2 years and believe it took me 1 1/2 years to just about get back on track again....

then the whole acting out, csa with the teacher came out and i went back to beyond square one really. Then i recalled my own memory about an uncle......then my bf went trhough major sexual identity issue......throuhgout this time he's made attempts to re-connect with me, but i've been too hurt, numb.......these past two weeks, he's just begun to face the issue of his repressed memory of the csa with the teacher with his T. Not specifically to recall, but to work through the rage, process the feelings. Parts of the picture are coming back to him........

I know i have to hold it all together now and really be there for him and our kids. I can't deny there are times when i wonder how long our lives will be like this. The strain on life is monumental to put it mildly. There have been/are days when i feel so much a mess, there are days when i feel so much rage, days when i feel shaken and weak, there are days i feel i might cry all the time......


BUT, there are the changes i have seen in my bf. There are also changes i've seen in myself. This is what i'm hanging onto. I just wanted to say, i relate to your feelings of desperation and share my own feelings similar to those and also offer the possibilty of hope for change...


Hang in there, cause love can prevail.

peace
Beccy


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#145506 - 03/15/07 09:53 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: beccy]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Kishka and Beccy,

No apologies necesssary for not responding right away. My original post was weeks in the making before the explosion actually happened and during that time, I was not responding to posts the way I usually would because I didn't feel the least bit capable of doing so.

I was working my way up to this blow out without even realizing it. All I knew was that I felt funky. Well, I got it out - in a big way It really is very unusual for me and yesterday, even though I felt better, I felt horribly guilty too for letting everything get the better of me. Today though, it's water under the bridge. There are emotions that were brought to the forefront that need to be dealt with so that's what I'll do, I'll deal.

My b/f and I are getting together tonight and we will talk about everything under the sun EXCEPT this. Our plan for tonight is to just be with each other, have dinner, watch tv, take the dog for a walk, be silly, and just enjoy each other's company without the monster coming between us. That's the plan anyway and I'm going to do my part to see that it happens.

We'll talk again, probably over the weekend about us and what we both need, but tonight, we're just going to be us.


ROCK ON............Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#146218 - 03/20/07 10:55 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
TX_Space Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 163
Loc: Texas
Trish,
I'm so sorry I wasn't here to respond last week. You are so good to me and I couldn't be here to help pick you up. I am glad to see that the "sun came up." I like that feeling sometimes! Hope you had a good time on Thursday...and over the weekend.

XOXOXO
tx_space


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#146220 - 03/20/07 11:24 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: TX_Space]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Ken - it's all good - I promise \:D

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#146355 - 03/21/07 09:28 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
stride Offline
Member

Registered: 03/07/03
Posts: 202
Loc: B.C. Canada
Oh, Trish, I am so sorry for your frustration and pain. Glad to see by your last post in this thread that you're feeling on a bit more even keel again.

Still, as always, I can relate so well. I could have written everything in that post myself, save for the part about his seeing his T (Brant has never taken that step). Your relationship sounds so much like ours.

Again, I am sorry that you continue to struggle with this, as all of us here do in one way or another. Still, I am grateful for your post, and your candour--it helps so much to know that I/we (partners) am not alone in having these types of feelings, etc.

Hugs,

Stride

_________________________
In the right formation,
the lifting power of many wings can
achieve twice the distance of any bird flying alone.

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