Newest Members
baltimura, YotaD55, giant251, Casey_SC, Xr2
12375 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
drivejoepublic (44), eagle299 (43), H18 (21), JJJ (43), mariposaman (63), SevenTwoTwo76 (39), TexAgMan (37), waiter (44), wgwarch (55)
Who's Online
5 registered (baltimura, Dave PNW, lapchinj, pufferfish, 1 invisible), 29 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12375 Members
74 Forums
63593 Topics
444250 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3
Topic Options
#145336 - 03/14/07 08:11 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
riviera Offline
Member

Registered: 06/01/05
Posts: 59
Loc: Spain
Hi Trish,

Being there so many times especially the first year when my boyf would collapse quite regularly and I had to make the best of myself to help him which required at times putting all my feelings, needs aside. I know I do not need to go in details cause you already explained quite well how it feels.
I know the frustration and the anger. I used to talk to my mum or friends about me, not about my boyf. I realized that when I talked about me I was liberating all the tension, the anger and the frustration that I could never share with my boyf even if I really wanted him to know and stop him making me feel that way.

Talking about you to someone close will definetely help though I must say that twice I was very close to lose it.

I hope it helps Trish.
H



Edited by riviera (03/14/07 08:13 AM)

Top
#145372 - 03/14/07 03:58 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: riviera]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
You men and ladies saved my sanity last night. I was incredibly close to the edge, but you all kept me from losing my balance. I did speak with my b/f last night, still losing it unfortunately, but he stepped up and let me just feel and cry and generally be a mess. The sun came up today and I feel ready once again to deal.

Thank you..........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

Top
#145377 - 03/14/07 04:17 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
GWsurvives Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/07
Posts: 251
Loc: Atlanta, and here, among othe...
Trish.. keep standing up!!! You are a treasure!

GW

_________________________
"Some times there just aren't enough rocks" Forrest Gump

Top
#145415 - 03/14/07 08:21 PM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: GWsurvives]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Glad we could be there, Trish. \:\)

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#145485 - 03/15/07 03:58 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: WalkingSouth]
kishka06 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/21/06
Posts: 38
Trish,
I meant to reply to your post earlier, but yesterday had been a rough one.

I go through the same thing with my b/f. I, too, keep it inside until I 'lose it' and he looks at me with bewilderment. I know how it feels when you get the "concilatory 'sure'" when you try to plan something, and they act like its a huge imposition.

I am so glad you made it through the other side....and that your boyfriend was listening when you spoke.
Kishka


Top
#145501 - 03/15/07 09:20 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: kishka06]
beccy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
Hi Trish,


I am sorry i didn't reply to your post the other day.
I just wanted to say i'm glad you vented and feel a little more positive now.....it was refreshing to read such an expressive angry post! But, i think i felt your words profoundly. they touched me deeply and saddened me to think that's how i felt for all those years when i never even knew anything about my bf's CSA, or my own experience for that matter. I simply didn't feel i had anything at all useful to contribute.....I think i may be suffering from extreme low self esteme and have done for years and i simply cannot put that all down to my bf, or our relationship. I think i've been trying to look at myself a little more and i'm afraid of what i might see and i haven't been feeling like i'm in any position to conrtibute much to these posts lately....

It's good that you allowed yourslef those feelings and came and shared them here. I am sorry you have to be going through this though. You always sound like such a 'grounded' person and i believe you must be a very healthy partner for your bf for that reason. He surely will have a greater chance to heal within a relationship like that, as you're not likely to hinder his recovery. I have seen so many changes in my bf lately and really wanted to share that positivity with you. He has been seeing a Homeopath(also trained pyschotherapist) for 1 1/2 years now and a T for the past 7 months, so it's no small time frame we're talking about......I have also been seeing the homeopath for 2 years and believe it took me 1 1/2 years to just about get back on track again....

then the whole acting out, csa with the teacher came out and i went back to beyond square one really. Then i recalled my own memory about an uncle......then my bf went trhough major sexual identity issue......throuhgout this time he's made attempts to re-connect with me, but i've been too hurt, numb.......these past two weeks, he's just begun to face the issue of his repressed memory of the csa with the teacher with his T. Not specifically to recall, but to work through the rage, process the feelings. Parts of the picture are coming back to him........

I know i have to hold it all together now and really be there for him and our kids. I can't deny there are times when i wonder how long our lives will be like this. The strain on life is monumental to put it mildly. There have been/are days when i feel so much a mess, there are days when i feel so much rage, days when i feel shaken and weak, there are days i feel i might cry all the time......


BUT, there are the changes i have seen in my bf. There are also changes i've seen in myself. This is what i'm hanging onto. I just wanted to say, i relate to your feelings of desperation and share my own feelings similar to those and also offer the possibilty of hope for change...


Hang in there, cause love can prevail.

peace
Beccy


Top
#145506 - 03/15/07 09:53 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: beccy]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Kishka and Beccy,

No apologies necesssary for not responding right away. My original post was weeks in the making before the explosion actually happened and during that time, I was not responding to posts the way I usually would because I didn't feel the least bit capable of doing so.

I was working my way up to this blow out without even realizing it. All I knew was that I felt funky. Well, I got it out - in a big way It really is very unusual for me and yesterday, even though I felt better, I felt horribly guilty too for letting everything get the better of me. Today though, it's water under the bridge. There are emotions that were brought to the forefront that need to be dealt with so that's what I'll do, I'll deal.

My b/f and I are getting together tonight and we will talk about everything under the sun EXCEPT this. Our plan for tonight is to just be with each other, have dinner, watch tv, take the dog for a walk, be silly, and just enjoy each other's company without the monster coming between us. That's the plan anyway and I'm going to do my part to see that it happens.

We'll talk again, probably over the weekend about us and what we both need, but tonight, we're just going to be us.


ROCK ON............Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

Top
#146218 - 03/20/07 10:55 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
TX_Space Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 163
Loc: Texas
Trish,
I'm so sorry I wasn't here to respond last week. You are so good to me and I couldn't be here to help pick you up. I am glad to see that the "sun came up." I like that feeling sometimes! Hope you had a good time on Thursday...and over the weekend.

XOXOXO
tx_space


Top
#146220 - 03/20/07 11:24 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: TX_Space]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Ken - it's all good - I promise \:D

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

Top
#146355 - 03/21/07 09:28 AM Re: Very angry post - could be triggers [Re: Trish4850]
stride Offline
Member

Registered: 03/07/03
Posts: 202
Loc: B.C. Canada
Oh, Trish, I am so sorry for your frustration and pain. Glad to see by your last post in this thread that you're feeling on a bit more even keel again.

Still, as always, I can relate so well. I could have written everything in that post myself, save for the part about his seeing his T (Brant has never taken that step). Your relationship sounds so much like ours.

Again, I am sorry that you continue to struggle with this, as all of us here do in one way or another. Still, I am grateful for your post, and your candour--it helps so much to know that I/we (partners) am not alone in having these types of feelings, etc.

Hugs,

Stride

_________________________
In the right formation,
the lifting power of many wings can
achieve twice the distance of any bird flying alone.

Top
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.