...to quote one of my brother wolves here
So to liven things up a bit, I'm posting these, which I originally posted in the "Male Authority Figures" thread, here in a new thread for some humor; which BTW is an idea started a while back by another brother wolf who hasn't been around lately, whom I really miss, and whom I hope reads this.
Feel free to add your humor men. Laughter is good medicene and you can take all you want!
Supposedly... Taken from ACTUAL
FEDERAL EMPLOYEE JOB EVALUATION SHEETS:
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"I would not allow this employee to breed."
"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
(Love that one!)
"This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"He doesn't have ulcers, he's a carrier."
"I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
"He's been working with glue too much."
"He would argue with a signpost."
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
"When his I.Q. reaches 50 we should sell."
"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
"One neuron short of a synapse."
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes."*
"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
I'll add a few I've heard & expanded over the years:
"His rent's due & the eviction notice is on the way."
"His elevator doesn't reach the top floor. Actually it's stuck between floors."
"The lights are on but nobody's home."
"He's one banana short of a bunch and one fruit short of a salad."