Here's one survivors playlist: Added some:

Drive - the Cars - this one helped drive me to disclosure. I was in big trouble.

Trust - Billy Brag - A song fully about CSA - **** TRIGGERS WARNING ****

On The Mend - Foo Fighters

Gimme Some Truth - Generation X - this one RULED when I was a teen

Sail On Sailor - Beach Boys - Is Brian Wilson a Survivor?

Dont Give Up - Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush

Afraid of Sunlight - Marillion

Afraid of Sunrise - Marillion

Childhoods End - Marillion

Waiting For My Real Life to Begin - Collin Hay

You Get What You Give - New Radicals

I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders

Best Kept Secret - China Chrisis

Zombie - The Cranberries

Boys Dont Cry - The Cure

Want That Life - The Fixx

Breathe - Ministry

Tell Me There's a Heaven - Chris Rea

Bad Man's Song - Tears For Fears

Year of The Knife - Tears For Fears

Daddy - Korn *****STRONG TRIGGERS******

Tubthumping - Chumbawamba -- I know its cheezy...but its on the playlist

It's My Life - Talk Talk

Rob,

I like it. All of Misplaced Childhood is for survivors.

I'm proud to own my heart!

Thanks,

Joe

I actually don't know many of those Rob, but music has really helped me get through for sure. Some you might know of: digging In The Dirt - Peter Gabriel; The Fall - Ministry. You do mean 'the' Ministry - ie: Pslam 69, etc...? I used to find that stuff too offensive when I was a Christian so I got into Christian Industrial like Under Midnight.

Also I used to listen to lots of Pink Floyd, and now and then I'll get The Wall DVD out, I find that really therapeutic.

Otherwise it's mostly instrumentals these days for me. I used to like a christian local Hardcore band called Callous too, I found their stuff was really cathartic.

Ash,

I was actually a punk-rock bass player in the 80s. These days I require a message that speaks to my stasis in the lyrics. If I'm lucky i has a good base-line too.

I had to stop listening to P Floyd in the early 80s as it drove me over the edge to near suicide. That...and Dark Side of the Moon.

I would STRONGLY suggest you give a listen to TRUST by Billy Bragg.

I've never met an ex-Christian before. That is an ex-evangelical Christian. Maybe sometime you can tell me about how that plays-out in your life. I DO know that I'm a pretty lousy witness right now. My brain to too full of snakes.

I WILL give those titles a listen. Thanks man.

Stasis: I had to look that one up, that's a good word, it describes how I feel creatively: stoppage, no flow. I will check out some Billy Bragg, I saw him interviewd once too and he is an awesome guy. Speaking of punk rock bass players, I met the bassist from The Birthday Party once: he teaches graphic design now. What kind of gear did you used to play Rob? Do you still play? My step dad is a christian and he's just started learning on a Warwick 5 string, great sounding basses.

Don't beat youself you too much. I used to always be so conscientious about being a good witness too, but you're here and people see the real you, and that's the best witness you can be. To maintain faith in the situation you're in does more than anything else to testify what you stand for and who you are.

I just answered that Q for another friend here. Here's what I said:

I use to own a Steinberger XL and a GL. Back in the old days when I had money and a mohawk. I played in a punk band called the 8-balls. I powered mostly off an Accoustic 400 head or 2, daisy chained...sometimes a Marshall head too. I pumped some big-ass Carvin Cabs with JBL speakers that I had custom built in Germany.

The bad old days for Rob. Loved the music...loved playing (still do)...I can just leave all other aspects of THAT life behind thank you very much. Came out of that with some bad addicitons, bad behavior. Of course, we know the roots of that.

Ended it all when I moved to Germany and the band went to NYC...I heard they made a good bunch of $$$ in the after-hours bars.

Playing still soothes my soul. I can really escape laying down some bass lines. My son got my old Boss Drum machine going again. I can't remember how to program it though. I now use a Steinberger knock-off. No money any more for these things.

I sure wish I had that guitar with me tonight. My T wants me to check myself in. I dont want to.

Hey Ash,

i never really looked at the Digging in the Dirt Pete Gabriel song before. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

is he a survivor???

It's a kick-arse song innit! And some others worth checking are Baby Bird, esp: Take Me Back, that's pretty intense.

There's a great Callous song, I can't find it on the web anymore, if I do I'll put a link up. It's a Christian Hardcore Punk song where the singer (also the drummer) screams:

I am all alone!
Everything's gone wrong!
I am weak!
But in my weakness
You are stroooooonggg!!!
(huge riffage kicks in with awesome drumming - he used to be the drummer for Mortification).

Anyway, here's their myspace, they've changed their sound, I prefer their old stuff, but you might find something you like:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=31009764

Sounds like an awesome bass rig, I was over at Ned Steinberg's site ogling his new and very expensive bass range the other day. I'd like to learn one day, but like you it's a money thing. I was actually contemplating an Ashbury or a Bogdan Box, but probably not.

Wait:

Here's the homepage:

http://threetimesfire.blackguild.com/home.html

I found it! (sorry for dodgy quality though)

http://threetimesfire.blackguild.com/Strength%20In%20My%20Weakness.mp3

Damn Rob,

I thought you were cool before, the I see you put Marillion, Chris Rea, and Billy Bragg on your play list. You are way too cool for me.

I'm an ex-frustrated drummer, so a lot of my picks are rhythym based. (When I played a lot my dream was to be a perfect blend of Neil Peart and Keith Moon).

Some picks from my list

Quadrophnia - The whole damn album. It's The Who's masterpiece.

Bravado - Rush

Break It Down Again - Tears For Fears

The Road To Hell - Chris Rea

Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis

Force Ten - Rush

Gimmie Shelter - The Stones

Grey Street - Dave Matthews Band

Morning Is Broken -- Lloyd Cole

Miami - Counting Crows

Midwife - Peter Mulvey

I could go on and on and on...

That's aiming pretty damn high. I'd settle for being maybe the second or third best drummer in the world. I was just thinking that Pert is into Ayn Rand while Moon was into everything, there might be some internal conflict if you made a Frankendrummer out of them. "Must be Herioc Ideal! Must take drugs! Arrrrghgh!" http://malesurvivor.interworksinc.com/board/images/icons/default/grin.gif