I'm just wondering if y'all care to explain some of your interesting pen names, why you chose them or what they mean. Mine of course is self-explanatory, but some of you have very unusual pen names, as if of another language or something. Tartugas...outis...and the like.

nobby nobbs is a character from the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobby_Nobbs

Brokenhearted,

"outis" comes from the Odyssey. It's what Odysseus claimed as his name when he fooled the Cyclops, Polyphemus. My favorite translation of the Odyssey renders it as "Noman" and my sig for the first few years I was here was


A few months after I wrote to the police about the last perp I changed to the sig line I have now. That's what Odysseus said back at home, just before he cast off the rags that disguised him as a beggar.

I had no avatar until a couple weeks ago, which I felt was ok, for an "outis." This new avatar fits with "outis" nicely as well. I took the picture in the woods behind my house.

Thanks,

Joe

... in greek mythology, selene is a full moon goddess ... part of a triple goddess aspect with artemis (waxing crescent moon) and hecate (waning moon) ... selene was the daughter of hyperion and theia and one of the deities of light during the dynasty of the titans ...

hugs,
selene

sabata....from a old weatern movie...back in the days when you had to be tough to surive...and a gun decided a lot

BH,

What a totally cool thread! I wish I had something profound to add, but, well, Trish is just my name

ROCK ON..........Trish

Very cool thread!


Beccy is the name I always used to use in games as a child. I was always 'Beccy'.....seems funny now I think about!


peace
beccy

Life can be "sweet" and life can be "sour." There are moments it can be both at the same time and I'm often perplexed by the irony of it all.

Initials. Sorry, I'm not very original. :-)

as a kid i was attached to my brother yeah like his shadow thats what they called me shadowkid

I'm into military history and strategy and war games focusing on the Second World War, and Paul Huaser was a the only German General (that I know of) that defied one of Hitler's explicit orders to not retreat, after being cut off and surrounded by the Russians and was not removed from command, court marshaled, or executed. As a General, he led on the front lines and was wounded twice in battle. He had guts! (Even though he fought for an evil and twisted regime).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Hausser#WWII

He was a key leader in the largest tank battle in history.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kursk#Operation_Zitadelle

Ok enough history for today heh.

Hey anybody up for a game of Close Combat 3?

TJ jeff

seems like a pretty normal pen name - but it holds deep significance to me

Yes - Jeff is my real name - but... - you'll notice that in my pen name it is not capitalized - it's a small j to signify the kid I once was - the kid still inside of me... - TJ is my initials reversed - to signify the boy who grew into a man (capitals next to uncapitalized - it's visualization thing) so backwards of the way life should of been...

Hauser - I'm always up for a game

I spent eight years of my childhood in Texas, then my family moved to Colorado in 1978. Mine is a bit of a misnomer, in that if a person is from there, how can they be former-there? So I don't claim to be a Texan, yet after the move this one kid in school took to calling me Tex. Another aspect of the "Former" part of the name is the ugly past I was leaving behind in Texas.

No originality in my name, just faith,

ste

Brokehearted,

Mine is from cosmology. The singularity is (gravitational singularity) roughly a reference to a black hole. It is were quantities become infinite. Once light crosses the event horizon and into the singularity the gravity becomes so strong that visible light cannot escape. That's where I always imagine myself existing. In a place where gravity is crushing me and no one can see what is happening to me.

Now that I read what I've just written it sounds pretty sad. But there you have it.

Oh yea, the lost and found part. Steven Hawking and some other notable cosmologists have debated whether or not particle information is lost after it crosses the event horizon. Without boring everyone, the debate seems to go from information lost to information found. It's called the information paradox. This probably makes no sense, but I just really like black holes.

-lost

Hey EGL! There is nothing wrong with using your initials for a penname.

RWH

AK because my first name is Andrei, and because my nickname in my family growing up was 'karova' (which means 'cow') because I was a fat baby. Even grown up and not fat, my sisters still call me 'karova' as much as my real name. So I was going to register here as 'Andreikarova' and I could not register. We gone through the web person at the time, because it would not let me register at all. He must of think that is my real name, because he register me as 'ak' instead.

Andrei

Brokenhearted,

My pen name "BelievesIn143" comes from a lifelong friend I have that used to write me and a group of our friends letters all the time and sign them 143, standing for I Love You (1 letter, 4 letters, 3 letters). She is very creative and we always thought it was really cool.

It took me several months of reading everyone's posts to register for the site. When I finally got the nerve, using this name just seemed like the thing to do. Also, I still believe in love and that these 3 words can conquer all, if the people saying them really mean it and put actions behind them.

Thanks for posting this question. I've wondered the same thing.
B143

"Healing Inside" says enough for it self.

Sometimes i need to remind myself of that fact though

My avitar is two things, my love for cats and the cats positon it how i hold my teddy bear as i go to sleep every night.

Bubbles are colourful and fun ..... and that's what I am when I'm not stressing
SB xxx

In high school, some of the guys who picked on me started calling me "Dewey". Their tone of voice made the nickname an insult. My baseball coaches picked up on it and started using the name as well, but without the condemnation that came from my peers. As a result, I took the nickname from my coaches because it became linked to something I love, and because I honored and respected my coaches.

2k comes from trying to register "Dewey" as an e-mail address. It had already been taken, so I added 2k for the year 2000, and it worked.

-Dewey2k

CoolJule came from a friend name Spike when i was 7th or 8th grade, he was about 6yrs older than me..he was a tough street kid(cool was my outside demeaner, inside i had no feelings and jule short for Julian (*wow brings up things)spike died in prison

Julian

Everybody refers to Tom, Dick and Harry. The South African equivalant is Pietie Jannie & Kosie. I guess i wanted to dissapear in the crowd.

Its not unique at all, It is my first and middle name. When I turned 19 I legaly changed both of them to the current names.

the old names were chosen and spelt specialy by her...

To be honest I picked them from babynames.com

Aidan is the number one name for newborns in 2005 i think it was... It come from a Saint I think it was and it means firey

Chase is another name from the same site.. i just like how it sounds like chasing a goal i guess... it all sounds really dumb.. but on any chat thing I usualy use Aidan or ACS or AidanChase all based of my new name.

Oh and the picture because a few people have mentioned it... its not just an avatar its a very special picture... its actually got my brother in it its a picture taken before my family broke.. making that little boy me.

My name is David and I'm deaf. The whole reason I say it up front is that my Dad (and perp) always hated that I am deaf and tried to keep anyone from knowing about it. I am now trying just to be proud of who I am but that is difficult.

Mine is just my initials.. but my Penquin is how I feel here. If you saw March of the Penquins, the part where they are all huddled together, keeping each other safe from the storm. Also, I posted "Shards of Glass" in the poetry section. It has been very powerful for me. There is a reference to "learning how to dance". Hence.. a dancing penquin.

Take good care.

Mine is from the make of cars I once collected and tinkered on. They were kind of the orphan (American Motors) and not one of the 'BIG 3'(Chevrolet, Chrysler, Ford). I also tend to talk alot when I choose to and am allowed to.

tartugas is an rather obscure spelling of tortugas, the spanish word for turtle

Shortly after realizing the effect my abuse had on me, my "kid" told me that he thought I was a turtle. The more I reflected on it, the more it seemed totally appropriate. I have a hard external shell (living in my head, shutting out all my emotions, keeping my distance from people) that protects me from getting hurt. And whenver I feel threatened by life I withdraw into it.

The spelling of the name is catalan. I chose the more obscure version for two reasons. One I thought it sounded cooler. And two, I can be pretty damn obscure at times.

(I also kind of like the memory of that old cartoon of the tortise who beats the hare, helps remind me that living fast doesn't always mean I'll win the race. But living intelligently and with determination always wins)

MemoryVault just came to me. I guess I was feeling a lot like a bank vault that my family stored its secrets in. But vaults can open, too. It's a heavy door, and a strong and secure place inside.

hmmm... This is a nice topic to bring up every few months.

WalkingSouth... it began on a very cold winter day a few years back when for whatever reason I was pretty much forced to work out in the weather all day instead of in my nice cozy office. By the time the day was over I figured I'd be heading south to a warmer climate even if I had to walk to get there. I think that night at home I had to pick out a username or some such for something I was doing at the time on the www, so I picked WalkingSouth.

Later on when I began my recovery and found the MS site it became more of a symbolic name in that I'm still heading for warmer places figuratively speaking even if it's a long slow journey symbolized by walking.

Lots of Love,

John

Post deleted by Cooljule

I enjoy these threads!! ScottyTodd comes from two sources. "Scotty" was the pet name my grandparents had for my dad. I found it out on a post card they sent him during WWII. My dad was always very distant, never there and wasn't much but he was my dad. He is deceased so that's my way of being as close as I can to him - now that I understand more. It was sad but I really like Scotty for a nickname.

"Todd" is a long story...I believe my family name is really Todd but my grandfather changed it - why? When? How? who knows. My family was not one to talk of the past (forbidden)!!!!!. It was his family birth name. I felt it was a way to legitimize and repair my family history.

Wah-Lah!! ScottyTodd was born.

My avitar is curious. When I came here I felt free, innocent and playful like a baby...vulnerable, ready to share and be myself! I feel like I'm looking back at you through some little window, saying "Hello dar!" in a friendly way!

Howard

Hi guys, I go by lostcowboy. How did it start, when I was in the navy in Coco beach FL, I bought this teeshirt called the lost cowboy. It had a cowboy on a horse in the middle of a pasture carrying a surf board, and he was asking these people if they knew the way to Coco beach.
When I got out of the navy, I got a job driving a truck. Of course I had to have a CB handle, and I thought of Lostcowboy. Cowboy, as I am from Texas, and Lost as I kept getting lost. When I became disabled and had all this time on my hands, I found the internet, and Lostcowboy just fits me.

Take care,
Clifford

Morning Star, well it just came to me, one morning when I thought of longing in. Just like a Morning Star would.

Someone mentionned bringing up this thread every so often so I thought Why not?!

Pattycakes is what my b/f calls me. He almost never adresses people by their names, including his parents, and him giving me this name reminds me of how much he loves me.

He doesn't know it but he could probably get away with anything as long as he calls me that !! This name is a constant reminder of how much I mean to him.

There are a few other nicknames that we give eachother but this one is special because it is the closest to my real name. It means the world to me. So does he.

I wanna add in to this topic. Even though mine is probably extremely obvious, it's my first name. Well my kid name I used to go by Charlie, still do occasionally, trying to figure out if I like Charles or Charlie better.

And the number comes from how old I was at the time of joined. Hard to believe it's been almost 2 years since I joined.

Love learning about people's names here, Pattycakes, thanks for bumping up this topic.

Charlie

Julia is my grandmother's name. Not that I get a vote but.... I really like, Charlie.

Hey Charlie!

I was afraid to be the only one curious so thanks for joining the thread.

And kudos for the upcoming 2-year anniversary!!

Pattycakes

Geeders...

Derived from the Ukrainian, with a hard "G" (people have been asking me for ever ) for Guido. Meaning Old man. A name (Petname??) from my wife. It got turned into Geeders by a close friend, also named Jim. Just to confuse the issue...

Jim

Well, my name is kinda obvious what it means. I omitted a couple of letters to be unique. It was a thought at the time. Nothing too special but a reminder to me that I hope it never happens again. Now for some reason I have always had people nickname me growing up. My favorite nickname was "kins" in high school. It brings back mostly good memories.

Andy.

My own was a nickname I picked up while at probably the lowest time in my life, 7th & 8th grade. The nickname was brought up by a freckled, round face with brown hair which bore a resemblance to Catfish Hunter. It stuck because, for whatever reason, my sweat stinks badly and my mother didn't have the money to buy new shirts as often as necessary, I hated taking baths (I now know why, it wasn't a safe time when I was younger) and didn't use deodorant. I smelled like a catfish. Everybody hated me, I was worthless to them and was humiliated often. The nickname symbolized how worthless I truly felt. 86 stands for 1986. Although it was the year I graduated high school, it was also the year I accepted Christ and was born again. I found a new group of friends who didn't like me because I was crazy and funny to get drunk, that they could use me and had a knack for "obtaining things". They really like me for me. It was a group of sincere christians who realy didn't care about the things that I had done, Christ forgives and they allowed me to be a whole new me. It was the first steps in learning to connect with people and trust others. Truly, before 1986, I sincerely would rather not be alive. So for me, I truly was born into a new world. That ugly duckling finally was seen for who he is, not what was done to him.

I really am glad you reopened this thread Pattycakes.

My name, "caesar" is also my cats name. 14 is my number in life. I named my cat that because he is like an emporor, assertive and territorial. I would like to say I am also assertive, but I can definitely say I am territorial. lol
Anyway, it makes me laugh when people here say "hail caesar". Makes me feel good. Its nice to have a little fun here once in a while, as so much we discuss is so serious. Thanks again Pattycakes. And if I had a vote, I would say "Charlie".

Gary

Kiev is for Kiev, Ukraine. My birth place. Only it was part of the Soviet Union back then.

I chose "nicked" to be a little more creative with my "nick-name."

Something that is "nicked" is a little beat-up and damaged, but still mostly good, and not completely broken.

I also like the connection to British slang where "nicked" is "stolen" since I definitely had things stolen from me.

I don't mind if you guys shorten it back down to Nick in chat.

My avatar is a "liger" a cross between a lion and a tiger- not clearly one thing or another, but sort of in-between. That sort of describes me. I also liked that they were both fierce animals- not the sort anyone would want to mess with.

Nick

mine, i would think, is fairly simple... obi, short for obiwan kenobi of the star wars movies...

ha! Another StarWars fan!
Celebration V is in Orlando in August.
I'm going!

Pattycakes

It means "voice of a woman" + 3 x "life" in Hebrew...

: )

Hi, my fraternal brothers.

Well, I use my real name plus i add my nickname (Irishmoose) from my 23 years in the Air Force.
My Irishmoose nickname that i had picked up in the Air Force was because my nose was broken as a baby, plus my ears kinda stick out, and someone thought that i looked like a moose, and being that i'm of Irish decent i just put the two together. As the old saying goes and the rest is history.

Heal well my brothers, heal well.

Pete..Irishmoose.

The reason i use my right name is because, my abusers had already taken my body, my innocense, my being, my heart & soul.

So, the only thing that i had left was my name. and i proudly use it.

Mine is my actual first name and the age I first told someone of my CSA. I'm 56 now...
-Alan

"pufferfish" is just a very interesting fish. I enjoy having a few fish in a tank but I don't have a "pufferfish". I used to have a list of potential online names and passwords for when I go into a website. When I came to MS a few years ago, the next name up was "pufferfish" so how about that?

pufferfish

Allen

Lenz is a troubled German playwright, a contemporary of Goethe, who heard voices, and wrote on little pieces of paper that he kept in stacks. Georg Buchner wrote a "prose fragment" about this afflicted playwright, detailing, in first person, Lenz's schizoid journey into a small village where he sought to be treated by a Pastor Oberlin.

Pastor Oberlin heard the voice of God. Lenz found this very natural as he heard the voices of children, and other unknown forces. The two men had an agreeable friendship, and saw many things in common, but ultimately the pastor could not help Lenz. After he had some trouble trying to resurrect a young girl who had died in a neighboring village, Lenz was bound by ropes and brought back to Berlin in a carriage.

Pais,
Travis

I adopted mine going a weekend intensive caled New WArrior Training Adventure. It speaks to the deepest parts of who I am and where I've been.

The de>

At the time, all I could think of is I've opened "Pandora's box" since it was totally locked until the truth was uncovered. I had to "tell" my husband what had happened. He had totally blocked it out. Mind shock. We're working our way thru it, since the truth has been uncovered. I was surprised no one else had claimed the name.

Wow.

It's funny - no one has ever asked me why my user name is "TheBobcatAgain". Everyone just calls me Bobcat, or a nickname - I have a myriad of nicknames, including Kitty, TBA, BC, Catman, Mr. Bobcat, Stumpie (because bobcats have stumps for tails), and many more, including a few that I would be a little embarrassed to post here. lol

Anyway, I hung out with a group of teaching assistants in college, and I was very close with them. I told them once that I had gone by the nickname of The Bobcat in my earlier days, and they quickly adopted it. "Bobcat" was so much a part of me, I would be bewildered if someone referred to me as Bob or Robert. So, when the teaching assistants abandoned me, I vowed that I would never make friends again. "Bobcat" died on that day.

When I discovered this site, I only wanted to participate in a WoR, so I didn't register right away. But as I leafed through a few posts, I came to like some of the guys whose posts I had read, even though I'd never met them. Their feelings of brotherhood were very evident, and part of me still longed for the chance to be really close to guys who could understand me.

So when I submitted a user name, I decided I would give being "Bobcat" one more try, to see if I could resurrect that caring and playful feline persona I once knew. Hence, I became, "The Bobcat"...Again.

Wow bobcat, that's really an amazin story.

I'm afraid my own name is not nearly so interesting.

Back when I was 18, I was writing a fan novelization of a game to appear on a friends' website. I had this rather odd idea that putting out even your first name on the www was not a good thing, so called myself after the main character of a story I was writing at the time about an assassin in a post apocalyptic world called Dark.

I actually quite liked him as a character, he was very small, threw knives, was sarcastic and at the same time quite insicure. In fact, about the only astounding thing in the story was the idea that the older dark would interject with comments on his younger self's doings, ---- usually with a lot of bitterness and sarcasm.

So, for a long while on the web I was dark.

Then, of course I found online games and forums where the name was already taken, so dark needed a last name for which I chose my favourite character traite, ---- that of empathy.

I've actually been dark so long online it's very much like a second name to me, the name I do my work for making computer games acessible under, in fact I've even had people I've talked to on skype who refer to me as dark.

Coming here though, I've actually gone through a miner reversal, sinse after a while I wanted people to be closer to me even than using my alternative name, ---- dark, close as that name is to mine.

Which is why i often sign my posts with my actual name, ---- Luke.

Strange as I took my nickname. I was 7 0r 8 years old at school, friends were fighting a bit. One of them, I still remember is name Marcel said thanks for helping me out and he said I had lost of "espoir". Growing up friends wen I talk whit them wen they were sad or upset or bad I use to try to share " espoir". I still do in my own way.

So here guys,

Une vie d'espoir means Life of hope

Love you all

Jean-Pierre

I used to make a lot of money and my H's friends/co-workers would ask him "where can I get a sugarbaby like that?"

Great thread. So many interesting stories, so much thoughtfulness.

Me, I am a big city Yankee who found everything she didn't know she wanted and needed in small town Southwest about 6 years ago. If you would've told me 7 years ago that two-steppin' on a Friday night would be my idea of a good time...

Country dancing represents my joy at finding the life I want to have, better late than never...and finding the love of my life. Thus...TwoStep.

Now, put a couple of beers in me and I even start to twang.

Horses is a metaphor for your 5 senses, like "Hold your Horses". "Goodbye Horses" was a song written in the 80's. I first heard the song during a very painful time in my life and pictured myself flying over a field of horses and leaving behind the pain of the world. Today it signifies leaving behind my old life, for a life of recovery, letting go of the pain in my mind, and coming to an enlightened state of serenity.

Mine comes from the name of my last pet, a black labrador ...i found him in a garbage bag in the ditch and rescued him...

Like me, he had a lot of darkness hidden in his heart...he never barked or growled, just as i rarely yell or raise my voice ...

I spent years trying to get him to play tug of war or roughouse, but he wouldn't ...just like his owner, his spirit was broken...

When he was big enough to walk on his own, i took him to the backyard and just lay in the grass...he put his paws on my heart and sort of cocked his head at me. That was when i named him Darkheart.

He lived with me many years, but got sick and had to be put down right after that, i started using it as a pen name for myself...

I guess mine's pretty self-explanatory. I'm here because I have hope for him and if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be here to learn to be a better supporter (and to take care of myself, of course).

mine is self explanatory also...
I want to cry for myself
I want to cry for what my husband has gone through
I want to cry for all the pain survivors feel
I want to cry because I'm scared to death for my kids with such evil monsters lurking on this earth
I want to cry...because I can't cry in real life because I'm always the bubbly, happy, life of the party girl who everyone thinks is happy 24/7. No one knows of what I'm going through...
except maybe you guys.

I guess mine is self-explanatory.... to a point.
I've always been a jock and a sports junkie, although I have a habit of picking underdogs (and in recent years you can't get any more underdog than the Baltimore Orioles.) I've always been able to talk sports, and I think part of the reason is that it was a good mask for me to hide behind. If I could talk/play sports, then I didn't have to face all the other stuff that made me hurt inside.....so most sports came easy for me, although the natural interest for athletics was always there.

Even though I live in NY now, Baltimore's where I was schooled and all that. And I also joined here during baseball season, so the Orioles thing came naturally......
and so here I am.

And here is the source of my name...


Love and abuse make marks on our lives,
For good and ill,
That cannot be removed.
Condemning and redeeming,
each in their turn.

-efm

I have enjoyed reading this thread...

My name came to me as a mental de>

My name was inspired from the avatar I had on my msn for a long time and when I was signing up on here, it was a blue butterfly, but it reminded me of bluefairy, which sounded nice, which then reminded me of bluefairy form A.I (Artificial intelligence) - which I thought was a good film. I thought Bluefairy was a symbol of hope in the film, and I like that, I wanted to be there for him and be supportive.

When I was a kid I thought my name was boring "Tim". I would wish it was Wayne which was the name of the man who was the BoyScout leader in the area where I lived. I admired him. Wayne itself would not be accepted when I applied for it here on MS so I added my favorite number "9".

When I was younger I rescued a White Winged Dove, it fell from the nest and its parents didnt pick him up from the floor so I adopted him ( not sure if it was a he or a She), mr whiskers became my only friend for a while , i know birds dont have whiskers but i swear it smiled and move his face like moving whiskers, so i named him mr.whiskers, i truly loved that dove,

Many see my name and think I am an old guy - I am 23 years old and in college - the day that I signed on to this site a month ago I had been tired of being on this road thinking about it in my head. I felt like a weary traveler.

The other thing is I love travel and going places and I love that it can wear you out - love checking into a hotel in a foreign city where you have seen so much your tired. I love seeing things that help you understand the world around you even though it can wear you out learning. Sometimes its a good tired.

Josh

I thought this would be a good thread to resurrect.

My "pen name" Jay ( disregard the 75) comes from a nickname my stepfather used to call me. "Jay bird" as he refered to me, was a name he called me as a kid. He said my demeanor reminded him of a blue jay, very aggressive and jealous. lol. As a teenager running the streets when asked my name I always said it was Jay. Today I look back and see that I was neither aggressive or a jealous person, but it stuck.

-Jay-

When I started recovery in 2004, the first thing I said to my first T was, "I wasn't abused but I have symptoms of someone that was." It took me a long time to come to terms with the possibility that I *was* abused but don't remember it.

I then narrowed down the time frame of when it must have happened (5 to 7 y/o), and then determined a suspect, but still no memory.

When I became aware of MS in 2004/2005, and I was reading the survivor stories and introductions, I felt inadequate to be here because I felt like less of a survivor because I lacked a story to go along with my pain. Then I read a post where someone said that there was "no hierarchy of abuse," that one person's abuse wasn't "worse" than another's. Something in that clicked for me, and I took my lack of memory as my badge of honor.

So when I registered, I chose as my screen name, cant_remember. And now that's who I am here.

Cant

I first registered with my first name. Things were difficult for me at the time and I didn't care about anonymity. But when I tried to post I couldn't because I felt too exposed. So I had to come up with something and it took a while. I was I wanted nothing negative sounding. I wanted something easy to search for with Google. (that's another story) So I came up with Candu because I can do this. (recovery) It took a month before I was able to get the name changed.

I love it....welcome to MS Josh.

Josh & all -

i too am a traveler. i second what you said about the sense of adventure and the excitement of discovery and learning.

i've lived at over 30 addresses in 7 states, 6 countries and 4 continents. i have visited over 30 countries and have a hard time staying too long in one place. don't really have a home town - and don't like revisiting some of the places i've lived - for obvious reasons. i guess i've been searching for something - and also trying to escape something. at this point in life - i know that much of my journey has been internal as well as external. still some distance to go - but i'm getting closer.

Lee

Mine is supposed to represent optimism. Hope and that is good. When I came here, I didn't have much hope.

Soccer was one of the few sports I was ever good at, the only one I was recognized for being good at, and it was during a soccer game that I not just defended myself but actually beat up and scared off one of the school bullies who had been tormenting me for years - and got away with it because it was "cloaked" by the game.

When I first signed up here I was plunging through a breakdown, flashing back in horror, alien and different and desperate, on the verge of doing something very bad and very final.

I tried to think of the most powerful and victorious moment from my youth. I needed to find something from my past that wasn't the memory of me being attacked - something that had a young me fighting back, being strong, winning. This was it.

Matt

Whome

I came up with the name when i joined the site having just watched the Oprah show, wow it feel like an age ago.
Well WhoMe is the fact that I had denied that I had been abused even to myself for so long, and when I asked myself if I had been abused, I would say to myself Who Me?

How things have changed in what is actually such a short time.

Martin

It's my initials. I couldn't think of something catchy.

HD is a nickname that my friends call me.

Cool topic
I've used my pseudonym (Pero Peric) usually when I'm on line. It could be translated into English like Mr. Nobody. It is a real but very funny sounding name in my native language. I've used this identity to reach some porn web pages; I'm shameful because of this but I've accepted my past and my shameful side. Now I'm using this name just for healing purpose it keeps me somehow focused on my recovery.

Here is other similar topic where we wrote about our nicks and avatars in similar manner. It seems like good idea to connect these two threads

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=372432#Post372432

Pero

i came here after my daughter told me my husband/ her father abused her. then i did what mothers do and stopped the abuse, reported the perp. then he turned out as a victim of insane abuses in the childhood. my daughter didnt want him in jail and the other kids as well. i was in a place where i thought i would be confused for a lifetime.

Mine is pretty self explanitory too. :-) However, I chose it because I signed up right after I found out about my DH's abuse. See, I WAS at the point of giving up. We could not get any further in our relationship. I was making appointments with divorce lawyers and preparing myself to separate from the man I love. And then he came home from his counseling appointment, he sat down with me and told me about what happened to him. He had remembered a few days before that and he had no idea what to do. The reason we could not get anywhere with our work on our relationship is because we were putting bandaids on the wound with out treating it. At that moment - I decided from here on out, I would not give up on him, on us and on a happy future. SO - here I am with hope that we will live a good happy life.

Suwanee can be spelled with one 'n' or two. As a Native American word, It is possibly a Timucuan description meaning "crooked black water." This is a good description since the rivers on the coastal plain in this part of the country are often the color of strong tea. The color is caused by decaying plant matter. It's clean, but dark. The darkness is accentuated by the bright white sand bars along the river.

It is both the name of a town in Georgia and the famous river (as in "...way down upon the Suwannee River...") that flows from Georgia, into Florida and on to the Gulf of Mexico.

I've canoed the river many times over the years, so it is a special place to me that reminds me of good times.

Will

If you stand perfectly Still, he won't hear you.

Still here.

Still hear.

Still hurt.

Still there?

perfectly Still.

Still crazy after all these years.

You Still here?

a few months ago, I found a storybook called "Ben the beaver" in my letterbox with a note in it "for Ben, to say thank you. Found it on a flea market, thought you'd like it." I'm still trying to find out who put it in my letterbox, but it absolutely made my day.
It's about a beaver who wants to cross a big, wild river and finally manages to do so, because he doesn't give up.. kind of felt good to take it as a nickname for this.

Bodyguard8367 has been an online nickname for me since 1999. I first came online and was having trouble trying to come up with an email address. It was before people began using their actual names as email and Identity online. Most people were on IRC chat back then and using all kinds of witty nicknames.

I adopted it because I had this huge chip on my shoulder. I was so abused and had grown up so big. I was 6'4 and went 300 lbs. I was a very big dude...and I had undiagnosed PTSD, a massive inferiority complex, a huge voice and a big body. I would overreact when I felt like children were being mistreated. Most people were afraid of me before they saw me mad, after I had "lost it" in front of them they really didn't want any more.

so...bodyguard....and my birthday 8/3/67

Love you guys...
Geoff

PS not so mad these days.

I grew up on a farm and looked a lot like my avatar when I was first abused. Except I had blonde hair. It reminds me of the innocence I lost.

My dad was a farmer and I was a farmer's boy.

13 years ago I married a farmer (my beautiful wife) and became her boy.

3 years ago I gave up my job as a Graphic Designer to work with her on our own dairy farm so now I am a real farmer boy.

I ride motor bikes, horses, drive tractors, plough paddocks, fix fences, milk cows, pull calves - the whole deal.

I am a real farmer....and I am a boy.

.....although sense coming here I am starting to feel like a man.

Taurus is my zodiac sign.

Gretta was my most loyal sweet dog. I loved her like she was my child.