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#143614 - 03/01/07 12:57 AM I'm Raging
Fighting Scot Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 5
Loc: Western NY
I've been away from this site for a while now and just came back - though not realizing that I'm actually raging inside, this day - don't even know if this is the right place for this post - but here goes.
************************

A couple of weeks ago upon returning from a vacation to Florida (back to the great white north of 5 degree weather here in Western NY) I needed an emergency appointment w/my Dr because I pretty much knew that my sore throat was probably Strep Throat as I had been in a lot of pain the last 3 days of my vacation.

So while I'm sitting there trying to talk and not swallow and just be with the slightest of movement, waiting for the test result, the nurse begins a somewhat odd one-sided conversation about how much God really loves me and cares for me. (FYI: this Dr's practice is known in the community as being a "Born-Again" practice, which I embraced more than 13 yrs ago - but which left me battered and bleeding psychologically (Clergy Survivor/Gay Survivor) so I set out on my own path spiritually - but didn't change Dr's because - hey, I've been a patient for more than 15 years and its a familiar place to go - they at least seem to know my name).

I get this really uncomfortable feeling like - I didn't ask for this conversation - and I'm in too much pain for this right now and it's hard to swallow so if I listen it'll be over soon. I at least challenged her by asking "why is this coming up at this time" - and I don't actually remember her response - but soon it was over, the test came back positive, the NP gave me the per>

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#143616 - 03/01/07 01:14 AM Re: I'm Raging [Re: Fighting Scot]
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Not to diminish the stressfulness of your experience, but you were aware that it was a "born-again" doctor's office right?

My father's doctor is Catholic, and he absolutely refuses to discuss abortions with women. If a woman comes to him looking for an abortion, he won't tell her that she is wrong, but he simply refuses to even discuss abortions. I imagine that if she asked for his advice, he would tell her not to get one.

I think in this case the nurse definitely crossed a professional line with her initial comments, but it sounds like she has realised her mistake and she is trying to make peace.

If I were you I would ask her if she would mind sitting and talking with you about what happened. There is a very real possibility that she meant well, but slipped and gave you religious advice that you didn't need. She may have presumed that you had a mutual level of comfort because you have been at the clinic for so long. Not saying that what she did was right, but it's best to give her the benefit of the doubt and have a discussion with her over the situation before you fire off a nasty letter.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#143643 - 03/01/07 11:41 AM Re: I'm Raging [Re: Nobbynobs]
philobat Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/31/07
Posts: 293
Loc: California
Hey Scot,

I agree with Nobby on this. I think she meant well. They usually do. I would change doctors, if it were me. Referrals are pretty easy to come by. The last thing any of us needs is to be spiritually judged by our medical team!

Its a perfect moment to move on.

I would like to say, congrats for standing up for yourself!!

Nasty letters to a born again will only cause them to feel sorry for you because they will not be seeing you in heaven (its hilarious if you think about it). In this instance I would be laughing my ass off at them!

I went through the born-again thing myself. I find it utterly hilarious now. I can't believe I even tried speaking in tongues! Witnessing and all that crap! I am laughing right now at myself!

They don't mean any harm, its just that they really believe all that shit!

I would give her a call and let her know that she crossed the line of professionalism and that you are seeking a new medical provider.

Good luck, and try to forgive her. She is like Nobby said, attempting to acknowledge her error.

Take care,

-Philobat


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#143680 - 03/01/07 04:29 PM Re: I'm Raging [Re: philobat]
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
I wouldn't go so far as to leave the doctor, especially if they are good. Most Christians, even evangelical ones, will leave you alone if you let them know that they are over the line with you. I honestly think she just made an error in judgement.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#143687 - 03/01/07 05:15 PM Re: I'm Raging [Re: Nobbynobs]
dean1320 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 129
Loc: Atlanta, GA , US
I think that it was inappropriate to bring that up in a professional setting, in addition, she does not need to be over stepping boundaries by calling you at home. My opinion only. I would tell them what you expect, as far as professionalism. I used to be in the Medical field, and i find that highly inappropriate.
Peace

_________________________
NEVER QUIT .

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#143692 - 03/01/07 07:02 PM Re: I'm Raging [Re: dean1320]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
There is a larger concern here: medical records were used for a purpose other than medical procedure.

There is something called the Health Information Privacy Protection Act (HIPPA). Although the nurse is permitted to look at your chart for medical reasons, anything outside of the actual practice of medicine could potentially be illegal.

I really think that what the nurse did is inappropriate and her employer should be made aware of it. How many other patients have had to suffer similar comments based on the nurse's "judgement" of what is godly and what is not?


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#143775 - 03/02/07 01:02 PM Re: I'm Raging [Re: Dewey2k]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Originally Posted By: Dewey2k
There is a larger concern here: medical records were used for a purpose other than medical procedure.

There is something called the Health Information Privacy Protection Act (HIPPA). Although the nurse is permitted to look at your chart for medical reasons, anything outside of the actual practice of medicine could potentially be illegal.

I really think that what the nurse did is inappropriate and her employer should be made aware of it. How many other patients have had to suffer similar comments based on the nurse's "judgement" of what is godly and what is not?


I totally agree. She had to take your phone number from your file in order to call you, and I'm pretty sure she has broken the law by violating your personal privacy. Did she call you from the office or did she actually take your number home with her?

It's sounds pretty obvious to me that she has a Christian superiority complex. I wonder if it's bothering you because you will likely have to go back and see her again, and you have a "bone" to pick? Maybe on a deeper level, you have known her long enough to know that nothing you say can make her understand that she has no right to make any such vague comments? Just some thoughts.

I started asking friends for the names of good gay doctors, and got two. The first doctor was too creepy and he always wanted to hug (boundaries!!). Then when I kept asking him for a pre>
_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#143787 - 03/02/07 03:01 PM Re: I'm Raging [Re: cbfull]
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Fighting Scot,

Call the woman, make an appointment, and then go in and speak to her in person. Depending on how that conversation goes you can either: a) make peace with her, or b) stop using the services of that clinic and possibly file a complaint.

Empty speculation on what motivated her actions is pointless; and it is only going to get you more upset. Just talk to her.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#143964 - 03/04/07 12:11 AM Re: I'm Raging [Re: Nobbynobs]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Nobbynobs is right. It is a waste of time to analyze her remarks. You are expending a lot of energy trying to figure out what her comment really meant, and there's really only one person who can tell you what that was, and that is her.

I would like to suggest thanking her for her good intent and yet caution her that it stirred a powerful and unpleasant emotion in you that you feel was not necessary, for whatever reason. Let her know that you realize that she meant no harm but it still made you uncomfortable. It could be one of those, "we agree to disagree" relationships that some people manage quite well.

Just an idea.

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#144181 - 03/06/07 01:16 AM Re: I'm Raging [Re: cbfull]
AshSurvived Offline
Member

Registered: 01/07/07
Posts: 167
Loc: Australia
As a former Born-Again myself, I think Nobby has given you some good spiritual advice. As to whether you want to deal with it in a faith context or a secular context might be the real question: which matters more to you?

But either way at least you have that strength of character, sense of self, to want to face this head on. I know I would just run away and ignore it.

_________________________
"It's your world Dave, I'm just livin' in it"

- Harvey Pekar to David Letterman
(American Splendour)

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