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#1435 - 03/28/03 01:47 PM Confront-A-Perp
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
Men,

Please wish me well. Tomorrow I'm confronting face to face the priest who sexually abused me twenty-seven years ago. I feel strong. I never imagined the day would come. You have made me strong enough to do it. Thank you.

JM


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#1436 - 03/28/03 02:28 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
JM,

By all means, luck, prayers, and well wishes to you. Let us know how it goes.

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#1437 - 03/28/03 03:10 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Sleepy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 288
Loc: Arizona, USA
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Take care,
Mike

_________________________
"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end."
--Ursula K. Le Guin

"Mental health is a commitment to reality at all times."
--M. Scott Peck

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#1438 - 03/28/03 03:48 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
JamesMichael:
Just remember you are not alone. We are all here behind you as brothers. My prayers also are with you but I know you will be strong.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#1439 - 03/28/03 03:49 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
JamesMichael:
Just remember you are not alone. We are all here behind you as brothers. My prayers also are with you but I know you will be strong.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#1440 - 03/28/03 03:50 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
JamesMichael:
Just remember you are not alone. We are all here behind you as brothers. My prayers also are with you but I know you will be strong.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#1441 - 03/28/03 05:41 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
JM my thots & prayers are with you, we are with you. WTG, and take care. May this bring you much healing & strength.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#1442 - 03/28/03 11:42 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
orodo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/02
Posts: 735
Loc: Imladris, The Safe Haven of Ar...
I'm With You
(Print the Lyrics)


I'm standin' on the bridge
I'm waitin' in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothin' but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there’s no sound

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me
Won’t somebody come take me home

It's that damn cold nights
Tryin’ to figure out this life
Won’t you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
But I, I'm with you, I'm with you

I'm lookin' for a place
I'm searchin' for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothin's goin' right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me
Won’t somebody come take me home

It's that damn cold nights
Tryin’ to figure out this life
Won’t you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
But I, I'm with you, I'm with you
Yeah yeah

Oh, why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
Yeahhhhh

It's that damn cold nights
Tryin’ to figure out this life
Won’t you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
But I, I'm with you, I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you, I'm with you
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you, I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you

Peace

Orodo

_________________________
It is better to be Dragon Master than Dragon Slayer. Some Dragons are meant to be mastered, others meant to be slain. Odin, Great Spirit, God, grant me the wisdom to know the difference. "May the Valar guide and bless you on your path under the sky"

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#1443 - 03/29/03 06:10 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
James

"Truth is on the march, nothing can stop it now."
Emille Zola.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#1444 - 03/30/03 11:06 AM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
JM I send you all my power and energy to help you on this most healing day.
Quote:
I never imagined the day would come. You have made me strong enough to do it. Thank you
AND HOW IT IS YOU WHO MAKES US STRONG
THANK YOU Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#1445 - 03/30/03 01:21 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Mark Crawford Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/02
Posts: 73
Loc: New Jersey
I know you will have the strength and wisdom to hold your head up and RETURN all the shame and guilt you lived with for years back to whom it really belongs. This man who betrayed you, your family and God.

"Things now hidden in darkness will be revealed in the light" This is the saying written on a banner which hung in a church. My perp took me to this church to read me this banner when I was much younger, he was very upset with me this day because he was begining to see how much I was trying to avoid him. In fact he was in a rage that day and very much out of control....I was terrified. He could not see or understand who really had the issues...and it was not I.

I don't know the particulars of your abuse but I am sure he was someone you once trusted and admired. I suspect he even used your faith to somehow justify his actions. Clergy abuse is often the equivelant of incest because of the close relationship between the victim and the perp.

My how the tables have turned...it is your turn to reveal in the light, that which has been hidden in the darkness for much too long! The Truth will set you free...my prayers are with you JamesMichael. May you speak with true wisdom.

Mark


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#1446 - 03/30/03 10:16 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
I wish you the best of luck james. I hope that facing that SOB will give you some closure to you past sa. Take care my brother and do not let him hurt you every again.


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#1447 - 04/15/03 09:47 AM Re: Confront-A-Perp
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
I did it. It went well for me. I was strong...I felt the support of all at MS. He said I initiated the incidences...then retracted and said, well, yes, I was the one in authority afterall. He was arrogant, patronizing, condescending. I didn't let him get away with it. I put it all back on him. I'm different for having confronted him. I'm still assessing how so. Overall, so much freer, more spontaneous and centered on who I am and becoming. It's great to throw-off the stuff that's been weighing me down. Thanks for all the support here.

JM


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#1448 - 04/15/03 11:22 AM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
JM,

WTG in your courageous confrontation of your perp,
as well as your not backing down & taking any blame, which to me would have been to let the arsehole abuse you again. What a powerful healing step you've taken for yoursef, and what an example you've set for the rest of us, whatever our path in confronting our perps. Thanks JM!

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#1449 - 04/15/03 11:25 AM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
Wow!! That's awesome! \:D You are so brave. I wish I could do something like that but every time I talk to my mother I am back in the victim position again. Some day maybe I will have the courage to stand up to her. You are healing very well. \:\)

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#1450 - 04/15/03 06:19 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Michael
Quote:
I didn't let him get away with it. I put it all back on him.
These are words we should shout out loud Michael, that's such good news.

Thank you for making sure one less perp gets away with it.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#1451 - 04/15/03 06:56 PM Re: Confront-A-Perp
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
JM,

Congratulations! That's a big step.

Quote:
I'm different for having confronted him. I'm still assessing how so. Overall, so much freer, more spontaneous and centered on who I am and becoming. It's great to throw-off the stuff that's been weighing me down. Thanks for all the support here.
Those words are a joy to read.

Your accomplishment is a source of hope for others. I'm happy for you, and for all of us who hear about what you did. Thank you for showing real strength and giving me hope,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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