Newest Members
journey4two, VASurvivor, jayceemac, rwolf, FindingNemo
12328 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cja (49), crackerjack (55), nursemanda25 (33)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 16 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12328 Members
74 Forums
63403 Topics
443283 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3
Topic Options
#141985 - 02/17/07 09:47 AM Re: f vs m abusers how does it effect survivors? [Re: AshSurvived]
indygal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 439
i missed hearing about antwone fisher.

having seen the quotes used here at ms from time to time i wondered about it and now Ash's post i looked it up and discovered it's a film.

i rented it last nite - wow - cried a lot - is so powerful, very moving, very well played out.

thanks ash, awesome, really.

all the best,
indy

_________________________
my avatar is one of the Battle Angel characters, fighting the good fight.

Top
#142010 - 02/17/07 12:43 PM Re: f vs m abusers how does it effect survivors? [Re: indygal]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I have had abuse by members of both genders.

The male abuse, in my situation, was much more forced and violent toward me. Both my father and other abuser, that is how it was. I know that not all abuse by males is as that, just, that is what my experrience of it was. I think, because of that, how much the violence, it was more obvious to me, that it was wrong.

My mother sexual abused me all my life. And even as it was not so physicaly bad of the other, I think sometime it was more bad to me then the other. Because it was more, well, I do not know the word 'sneeky' is right, but it was more not obvious I guess. Women are amazing creatures, and very much are different then men with their emotions, with how they react and respond of things. I think they are many times more clever, while men is more 'simple'. So with the abuse by my mother, there is more emotional damage because she was my mother, but also, because as a woman, there is more emotional attachment of it, and more guilt feelings of it. Ladies can be good to create feelings of guilt when you would perhaps not have it else, and that is included in the 'sneeky' abuse also.

I know I am not saying this right, and I have no desire to offend. I just, what I try more to say is that there is different 'subtle' differences between abuse by men or women, and I think the abuse by the woman 'hits' in different ways. Also is the sterotypes, that women can not damage men. So if you was abused by woman, it is like, you are meant to not think of it as abuse, but as conquer, or if it is truly abuse, then you are weak, weaker then a woman. None of it is good, just, there is differences in the feelings of it I guess. I am not explaining it good.

VN


Top
#142060 - 02/17/07 05:23 PM Re: f vs m abusers how does it effect survivors? [Re: VN]
indygal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 439
vn,

i think you explained it very well; i do understand what you are trying to say...thank you so much for making such a tremendous effort to share. i appreciate it very much and am sure others do also.

all the best,
indy

_________________________
my avatar is one of the Battle Angel characters, fighting the good fight.

Top
#143243 - 02/25/07 08:15 PM Re: f vs m abusers how does it effect survivors? [Re: indygal]
Kathryn Offline
Guest

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 303



Being that we come from our mother's bodies and are usually raised by her, I'd think this very early, primordial relationship makes any type of profound betrayel more -- basic somehow. Kind of like what Aristotle thought about matter and form: one is the clay, the other is modeling. We gain our matter, come to matter, in and through our mother's bodies. All other experiences are forming this basic stuff. And our earliest experiences puts us at our mother's mercy, both in coming to matter, as well as how much we matter....
All else, while incredibly important, is secondary in forming our sense of our basic existence (matter).
I don't know, I think maternal betrayel probably hits at our fears of existence and non-existence a bit more directly.

At least I would think so.

K.


Top
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.