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#141170 - 02/11/07 06:43 PM Getting some Female Attention ! Help !
woundedgazelle Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/12/07
Posts: 6
Loc: ireland
Hi; well things are changing fast. I have pulled myself out of my rut and i am discovering a new world with friends and doing things to make myself more confident. Got involved in drama, dancing etc and other things and made a whole lot of new friends.

A friend asked me to go with her to dancing classes. So i have been going. There is a girl there giving me the eye! I even said it to my female friend and she saw it as well. (Cos I thought I was imagining it)
I am going HELP ! PANIC ! I think I shall run in the opposite direction as fast as my little legs can take me!!
There is a teeny weeny part of me that is excited as this is all new.
But the other problem is that I was out the other night with a girl which i do have feelings for (as part of crowd); but i am too shy and sensitive to say anything. I think these feelings are different. Plus i have the CSA thing in the back of my mind. Plus she flirts with me a little bit and I don't know if it is genuinine or just office flirting.

I am scared of intimacy and being close. I suppose it is the whole thing of opening up and allowing new feelings to happen. I am mature in so many areas of my life; but not this area i.e. relationships etc etc. Any female perspective / viewpoints would be appreciated. Or any general comments from the guys.

In a nutshell I think i fancy one girl, who flirts with me; i think; and now i have another girl who i think is giving me the eye. Its a feast or famine. But i am scared of moving and trying something different cos i am a ashamed of my life and myself.




Edited by woundedgazelle (02/11/07 06:46 PM)
_________________________
Wounded Gazelle

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#141178 - 02/11/07 07:25 PM Re: Getting some Female Attention ! Help ! [Re: woundedgazelle]
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
wounded,

I can still remember the first time I realised a girl was interested in me. I was 23, and it scared the crap out of me.

I don't really have a lot of advice other than to be yourself, and try to spend more time with one or both women. Women generally let you know when they are interested in you, through a bunch of different ways (I'll let the women here fill you in on those). Anyway, it never hurts to ask one of them out for coffee. You never know.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#141183 - 02/11/07 08:03 PM Re: Getting some Female Attention ! Help ! [Re: woundedgazelle]
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
WoundedGazelle,

You have a resource that perhaps you don't recognize, your dance partner who confirmed that a girl was giving you the eye. Can you ask her for a female opinion? I'm not trying to complicate your life, but did your female friend ask you to join her at class because she herself has some feelings for you?

Feeling feelings may be new, even scary, but it's not fatal. Go ahead and ask the woman you like to join you in some low-key activity, like coffee, etc. If she turns you down, knowing where you stand with her is better than wondering. If she accepts, maybe you'll enjoy the time together. Intimacy and being close are still some ways down the road after coffee, so try not to get too worked up about that.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#141185 - 02/11/07 08:16 PM Re: Getting some Female Attention ! Help ! [Re: outis]
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Best not to ask the friend. Just go talk to the girl yourself and see how she responds. If she seems interested (you'll know from how she talks to you) then ask her if she wants to meet for a coffee after class sometime.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#141186 - 02/11/07 08:21 PM Re: Getting some Female Attention ! Help ! [Re: Nobbynobs]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Hi WG.

I see me in your post. yeah. Pretty scary, being liked by a gal when you've never been able to respond and aren't sure you can now. Ask her out. I know it's frightening. Fear of rejection. Fear of doing something stupid. But you know what? They like you! They're communicating that to you in one way or another. Ask her/them out. If it's "office flirting" she'll let you know. It's not rejection. And besides \:\) you have two to choose from at the moment, and there will be others because they can see a guy who has conficence. You've said it yourself. Pretty good odds, Bro. It's obvious you're likable. You'll do fine, buddy. It's OK to be nervous. Just go for it! And let us know how it goes, OK? Good or bad. It's OK.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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