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#140797 - 02/08/07 11:19 PM First Disclosure.
Mick^ Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 5
I've a brother 5.5 years my senior, When i was Nine i was coerced into incest, with him. I'm 24 now i'm just trying to put together all the things i feel/felt about what happened. I'm getting very unnerved, nausea and near vomiting sometimes, my emotions are swinging around like crazy from apologetics to the SOB, wrath on inaminate objects(knuckles bleeding i guess thats a +1 for the brick wall) and just feeling sick.

Just wondering what kind of emotional pitfalls you guys went through when you first admitted what has happened.

Some ways i think anonymity on this board has taken away a lot of the edge of actually saying anything about this i can't imagine actually talking to anyone about it atm.


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#140806 - 02/09/07 12:18 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: Mick^]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16263
Mick,

Welcome. You are not alone. Many of us have experience the feelings, nausea, etc. you are speaking of. It can be quite intimidating to have all this stuff coming at you with nowhere to turn. You've discovered a place of safety here where you will be believed and supported. Don't be afraid to tell us if you need anything in the way of support, a listening ear, or that you just need to vent. This is the place for that.

Come on in, look around, and just take it a day at a time.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#140807 - 02/09/07 12:25 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: WalkingSouth]
Halibut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 228
Loc: Alaska
Welcome Mick,

I'm sorry you were abused, and all that you are going through right now. I threw up the morning I went to the police, found my emotions went up and down and felt like controlled me rather than me them. It is soooo tough, but necessary for a better life. Take things at your speed, be gentle and pampering to yourself right now, do whatever it takes.

There's good people here to support you and help. I'm grateful for the folks here.

Welcome....it will get better.

Hal


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#140821 - 02/09/07 02:13 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: Halibut]
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
Mick,

I could be there in that room with you as you type. I feel that emotion that you have expressed in your first heroic disclosing post. I think pretty much all of us have felt that sickening feeling you describe.

This is an incredibly brave thing you have done. You will do even braver things in the days, weeks and months to follow. Be assured, this biggest step probably hurts the most – the initial reaching out. And I think you make a very good point. The anonymity of the web and this site just makes it all possible. I’m glad you found us.

Mick, as you read more posts and post yourself as and when you feel comfortable to do so, you will discover so many guys here can relate to what you are feeling and going through. Again, that is such a great thing and a relief.

A real life example for you from me to you – my older brother abused me from when I was 4 – 11 years old. I never told. That has its own issues that can be covered in other posts.

Everyone here helps everyone else. I’m glad you’re here with us.


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#140823 - 02/09/07 03:17 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: Grunty1967b]
Mick^ Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 5
Thanks guys, its good to know the feeling ill thing seems pretty common, when you're working on whats going on.Grunty if i can ask is there a significant age difference between you and your brother? Are/Were you worried other's will write it off as he was "only" 15. Maybe i'm being overly paranoid about the whole thing but i just can't shake that feeling.

I'm wishing some major ill-will down on him.


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#140827 - 02/09/07 06:24 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: Mick^]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
Hi...Mick...My Brother Had his Way With me Quite A few Times...He Was 2 Years Older.I Was Around 9 Or 10...Dont Recall...My Dad Caught Him Once Dooing This...I Got Yelled At..Like It Was All my Fault...Then All Was Forgotten...Took me Aprox 30 Years to Realize That This Was The Route to my Problems..Yet Never connected the Two..Also I Had Repressed This In my memory So it Didnt Surface untilAbout 5 Years Ago Welcome.......Steve


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#140835 - 02/09/07 08:18 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: sabata]
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Welcome Mick!

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#140840 - 02/09/07 08:44 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: Nobbynobs]
Elad 12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1176
Loc: on the coast
Welcome Mick. I know well of what you speak.

Dale


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#140848 - 02/09/07 10:07 AM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: Mick^]
lostandfound Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/01/07
Posts: 148
Loc: Singularity
Hey Mick,

I'm new here too and yes. I have gotten quite sick. The first time I ever spoke the words "I was sexually molested" I vomited. I was also nearly finished with a litre of rum too. AT the time that was the only way to get it out. That was ten years ago and until recently I very rarely discussed it and that was only with my wife. I still feel physically ill when I talk about it though it is getting better. I'm in counseling and trying to work up the nerve to join a support group.

Talk to the guys here. Vent. Find a therapist too because, at least in my experience, it has helped to explain some of my depression and filters and triggers. I think that admitting to yourself that you can't do this alone is a big step. You are indeed NOT alone.

Please know that you are loved and worthwhile. Though I'm new I have seen the caring expressed here and you will too. Hang in there.

Blessings
-lost

_________________________
"I'm not suppose to be like this, but it's okay!" -REM

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#140867 - 02/09/07 01:41 PM Re: First Disclosure. [Re: lostandfound]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 10946
Loc: Denver, CO
Welcome to the board Mick!

As you can see, many can relate to what you've shared. You are truly not alone.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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