Hi all, I thought about where to put this, and think it fits in this forum best. I think a lot of the guys that are wondering about what they are, need to read this book. It may not have all the answers, but I think it will answer some of the questions. While the book deals with straight love-shy individuals, I think it can be applied to gays that are love-shy also. The first book I read by Brian G. Gilmartin was The Shy Man Syndrome: Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It by Brian G. Gilmartin. I recently found out that this was the second and smaller of two books by Brian G. Gilmartin. The problem is both books have been out of print for a while. However, I found a web site where you can get a copy of the bigger book. Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment
by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin, http://www.love-shy.com/Gilmartin/toc.html the book comes in the pdf format, you will need the free Adobe reader to open and read the file. You can get it at http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html
I think once a few people read it we can have some interesting discussions.

Lost, thanks for the reference. I looked into that book and Amazon.com only has second hand sellers. Well, their price is waay up there (over a hundred bucks). But, I will keep looking and will check out the link you provided. thanks.

Hi PhillyPa, yes I understand the high price of the book, which is why I got excited about the web site, you can get a electronic version of the book for free! from the web page.

Just thought I would pop this up for some of the new guys.

Hi guys, I don't know if any of you ever read the book. But in one of the chapters the author writes that these love-shy guys reminded him of a Lesbian trapped in a man's body. That statement so seems to fit me. I recently looked at some Lesbian porn, to try to learn how to give a girl oral sex, I would like to know how if I ever get in that position again with a girl. I almost immediately drop into this fantasy of being one of the girls in the movie. I had a really strong orgasm. While I wish I had been born female, and if I was I would want to be with females, I don't feel it so strongly that I want to cut my dick off, I like my orgasms to much.

Recently things have gotten confusing in my life. I'll try to talk more about that later.

Take care,
Clifford

Clifford,

I'm glad to see you posting more these days. I hope you will feel able to express whatever concerns you need to talk about, especially since, as you comment, things are looking more confusing for you these days.

Please don't sit alone in confusion. There are plenty of guys here who will know exactly how you feel.

Much love,
Larry

Thanks Larry! I will be posting in friends and family, as I want the lades input also. I have to talk about me and my wife first, before I can get to the confusing stuff. I am sort of involved with a SA married couple from my church, its confusing.

Take care,
Clifford

Hi guy's, I posted about the couple last august and then removed it, decided it was best. I do want to say that, I had a huge crush on the girl which fits in with the love-shy theory. It also fits with the theory of Limerence I don't know why I get stuck on girls in such a one-sided attraction. But I am sure tired of it!

Take care,
Clifford