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#140632 - 02/07/07 05:10 PM English is really crazy
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

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#140634 - 02/07/07 05:16 PM Re: English is really crazy [Re: duncanUK]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
This is too logical to defy the laws of life,

ste


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#140646 - 02/07/07 07:03 PM Re: English is really crazy [Re: reality2k4]
Halibut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 228
Loc: Alaska
Awesome!!!! As an English major and fan of George Carlin you've hit it right on the head!


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#141575 - 02/14/07 01:48 PM Re: English is really crazy [Re: Halibut]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
At least it is crazy to native English speakers also.

Andrei


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#141602 - 02/14/07 03:34 PM Re: English is really crazy [Re: ak]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
ak,

That probably explains why i am crazy \:\)

Duncan

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

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