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#140610 - 02/07/07 01:54 PM Normal Reaction?
usccabum1985 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Illinois
So I dont know if this falls under sexual identity but it is sex related and I dont know where else to turn. I recently met a girl that I like a lot. We have been spending a lot of time togeather, Its alomst like we are kinda dating. Well yesterday things took a turn towards the more serous type of relationship. But when I went to well "do It" I lost my erection. Gone, done, finished. The foreplay was doin it for me, and I was redy to go on. but the mechanics wouldnt work. I was starting to wonder if it was the first time willys or somthing to worry about. ( I havnt had this problome before) ( also I am still a virgin, trying to work on that) Any feedback would be welcome, and yes I want her.

_________________________
"same old repitition fealing up and down agen, sorrow is a highway that never seams to end"
- Jeff Austen, Younder Mountain String band

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#140615 - 02/07/07 02:11 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: usccabum1985]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
usccabum
Put it down to too much pressure on the first time. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT!! Despite stories, it happens to all guys. If I could make a suggestion...tell her you'd like to just do foreplay for a while and not initiate THE sex act for a while. That takes the pressure of you to perform. Keep it all fun, exploring, oral, kiss, lick, touch, all that fun stuff. No actual intercourse for a while - weeks or months. THEN when you are really comfortable with each other and feel very intimate, trusting and not feel like you have to "prove" yourself, then think about intercourse. But listen to your body. If you go for it, and something doesn't feel right, or if you feel anxiety, then don't do it.
My guess is that once you establish this sort of intimacy and sex play, the actual intercourse will be fine and fun. She will probably go for it big time since often the foreplay is more intimate in some ways than the intercourse. You can focus on HER needs a lot. My two cents.
Paul


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#142941 - 02/23/07 02:11 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Paul1959]
usccabum1985 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Illinois
Well at this point its usless, she died in a car wreck on friday. I have learnd my lesson, never get close to another girl. When I did, I was only hurt. Love is the worst thing that has ever happend to me

_________________________
"same old repitition fealing up and down agen, sorrow is a highway that never seams to end"
- Jeff Austen, Younder Mountain String band

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#142943 - 02/23/07 02:15 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: usccabum1985]
Kathryn Offline
Guest

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 303


I am so, so sorry.


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#142944 - 02/23/07 02:25 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Kathryn]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
sorry for you dude, and for her

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#142965 - 02/23/07 03:57 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: shadowkid]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
OMG

Take care of yourself ok? This is tragic. I'm so sorry to hear it. How long had you known eachother?


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#142966 - 02/23/07 04:03 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Hauser]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
You're not alone, my friend. We're here to listen if you need us.


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#143058 - 02/24/07 02:08 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Dewey2k]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
OMG - I am so sorry. words don't begin to say it. Don't give up on life or love. Keep your memory of her and let it lead you. come here to talk.
Paul


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#143244 - 02/25/07 08:24 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Paul1959]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
We're here when you need us, My Friend. Any time.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#143670 - 03/01/07 01:27 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: WalkingSouth]
usccabum1985 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Illinois
Thanks for the suport guys!
I dont know, I havent been feeling well at all. I have all but lost the ability to sleep. I havent been able to eat. I went to the funeral and couldnt take it. It was sooo hard to see her and her son laying there. I broke down bad. I realy am having a hard time geting past this. I never thought the first person I loved would die on me. This is cural. Im sooo lost in a pit of depression. I dont know what to do

_________________________
"same old repitition fealing up and down agen, sorrow is a highway that never seams to end"
- Jeff Austen, Younder Mountain String band

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#143707 - 03/01/07 08:50 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: usccabum1985]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
usccabum..........so sorry... please be strong...and try and take care of yourself......steve


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#143718 - 03/01/07 09:43 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: sabata]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
USC, be gentle with yourself. You're in my thoughts.


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#144137 - 03/05/07 04:41 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Dewey2k]
usccabum1985 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Illinois
Im out of Ideas. I tried to go on a climbing trip to ease my minde, and It only made things so much worse. I guess the only benifit to the trip aisde form the climbing was that I was able to eat a little ( 8 hour drive and sleeping in 20deg wather will do that to a person) The whole drive down I was realy freeked out at the thought of driving on the winding back roads. I made it home in one piece but by minde is worse than before. Its like this huge void inside me has been made 10x worse. I keep having dreams about her and wake up expecting to see her there and I have to reminde myself she's gone. I realy cant take this. this is not what I need. to make it worse It seems like my famaly is caving in on its self. I cant seem to interact with my sister for some reason. She thinks this not real. I cant stand it. I want out. this is not what I signed up for. I truly think I have lernd a valubal leson, dont let anyone get that close again. Im sinking, and I dont know how to cope. Why did this hapen?

_________________________
"same old repitition fealing up and down agen, sorrow is a highway that never seams to end"
- Jeff Austen, Younder Mountain String band

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#144162 - 03/05/07 08:43 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: usccabum1985]
Cooljule Offline
Member

Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 69
Loc: New Jersey
the child in you can only take so much,this will pass.Be good to yourself and keep coming back

_________________________
Come heal with me

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#144163 - 03/05/07 08:46 PM Re: Normal Reaction? *DELETED* [Re: usccabum1985]
Cooljule Offline
Member

Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 69
Loc: New Jersey
Post deleted by Cooljule

_________________________
Come heal with me

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#144164 - 03/05/07 08:54 PM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Cooljule]
Cooljule Offline
Member

Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 69
Loc: New Jersey
still a virgin and trying to "work on that"Keep your head high and there is no shame in being a virgin.The shame belongs to this sick world that puTS a cheap price tag on sex and love.We have a lot of love to give to this world.WE WILL GIVE BACK WHAT THE WORLD HAS TAKEN FROM US

_________________________
Come heal with me

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#144178 - 03/06/07 12:39 AM Re: Normal Reaction? [Re: Cooljule]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
USC,

Times like these - it's impossible to find the right words. I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you.

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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