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#139225 - 01/27/07 12:01 PM i like somethings about myself but not all
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
I want to like everything about myself -

but it's like I see elements of things

that I know are human nature - that I wish

I didn't have in me but it also seems

clear why - I would like such things -


I suppose it comes down to

what a therapist once said

"wanting but not wanting"

I think I want myself and life to be something better than

what it is - I want to achieve and also

to be a better person - an excellent person.

It bothers me that I feel I have a lazy side - and I want to

"kick it's butt" (that side) -

oh...I tihnk I need to take life as it comes -

and not paint the whole picture - with most of the information

left out..... (and let my fear paint the most horrible view
before I am there)

no more doom and gloom - I am going to project - positively \:\)

the version of what I think I am hoping for \:\)

- M

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#139230 - 01/27/07 12:33 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i guess - conservative.

but no log cabins.


;P

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#139235 - 01/27/07 01:05 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i kind of want to share this -

it's cool -

the negative feelings about moving forward -

like knowiing where i want to go - but seeing the storm only

or - taking a wait and see view

or - like the ostrich head in the sand ....

it made me laugh -

but also because

i looked outside - it's -5 degrees F

I need food - and there's no two ways about this -

i have to go out -

I also need to walk the whole way

so - -5 degrees is never a party - unless you get to keep in - eh?

hahah

so - the feelings - they do change - but -

hatin' life now 'so to speak' ;\)

anyway - cheers - have a good one -

stay (((((coozy)))

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#139258 - 01/27/07 03:45 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i did it.



being alone can be a bitter pill to sit with.

but there can be ok moments - and nice ones.

it just may not be as sweet as it can be with another person
being there.

again - and being alone can have nice times but i'd rather

pair off right now.

also - being alone - so much can sap energy in a big dose.

but - it can be done once your cool with it.



Edited by markgreyblue (01/27/07 03:47 PM)
_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#139259 - 01/27/07 04:00 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
actually learning all this kind of makes it easier

just to get on with livin'

ok with life n' stuff.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#139261 - 01/27/07 04:01 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
kinda. \:\)

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#139476 - 01/30/07 12:21 AM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
take care of yourself mark.

Duncan

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

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#139623 - 01/30/07 07:26 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: duncanUK]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
am doin' dat.

\:\)

thanks duncaccino!

\:\)

SF - is really good.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#139624 - 01/30/07 07:26 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
SF= San Francisco.

(here for 2 weeks)

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#139847 - 02/01/07 08:12 AM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
Hi Mark

I think i will have to make myself a strong "duncaccino" sometime :-). I hope you are well.

Duncan

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

Top
#139877 - 02/01/07 11:41 AM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: duncanUK]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
hi Duncan!

yes - coffee is good -

I woke early this morning - went on a long walk to my old neighbourhood - near laguna and broadway - "cow hollow"

I love it there - and as I walked home -

after four days here now - and twice to cow hollow

the air - the sites - and hills -

the cool mist and the people all put together - in any old order

have a relaxing magic to it:)

san fran - isgood.

have a nice day too Duncan!

MGBT

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#139879 - 02/01/07 12:03 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
dunc,

i just remembered this.

it was pretty cute.

when i was in cow hollow i walked past a long haired kitty
sitting in front of a boutique door - seeming to be watching
the morning rush hour go by.

it looked a bit dim - eyed - and was doing a silent kind of meow
at me.

i walked by and thought - mmm thirsty methinks.

i got a couple pieces of quiche and a cup of water.

ok - i am weird - but i put the water down for the kittykat

and it drank for two minutes straight it seemed \:\)

it's eyes brightened right up! - and at the end

it did this kind of kitty stretch lol that was like slanted

and so - a kitty happy - methinks.

\:\)

anyway - it didn't go for quiche -

too salty maybe -

i liked it tho'

meow!

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#139888 - 02/01/07 01:37 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
Mark,

You have a kind heart. You should have taken the kittykat home with you :-).

Duncan

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

Top
#139905 - 02/01/07 04:31 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: duncanUK]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Hey Mark

My brother and sister-in-law live in SF; they love it. I think I'm going to go visit in May, although it's not finalized yet. You'll have to give me some "can't miss" sights to wander through.

ROCK ON........Trish


_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#139910 - 02/01/07 05:04 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: Trish4850]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
thanks duncan -

i am not sure if the kitty - was belonging to a shopkeeper and
spent the night outdoors -

or a local apartment dweller -

it did have a take - but it looked possibly lost -

though - it seemed content after drinking to sit
on Union Street - (a pretty boutique street) watching cars go by

so - if it's there tomorrow - then i'll maybe make a call -

Trish - SF - has a lot to see -

let's chat later - tell me what you like-

and I'll bubble tour guide - which i like to do \:\)

MGB

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#139922 - 02/01/07 07:06 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: markgreyblue]
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
There's the "Cat Hilton" down on Land's End - people used to dump their feline critters in the bushes and eventually someone built a plywood condo for maybe 50 cats or so, and old ladies would bring lunch. Plus there was all the wild space in the bushes down to the beach, so always something tom eat.

Hey Mark, how do you like Cow Hollow prices?
A but more than precious. Try Union St. in the Marina.

ribbit

_________________________
??

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#139935 - 02/01/07 08:19 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: froggy12]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i went to the de Young today

lots of de old ladies there!

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#140033 - 02/02/07 01:08 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: duncanUK]
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Markgreyblue,

The last time I was in San Francisco we drove thru the Castro and the place was infested with heterosexuals. Wash your hands a lot. You never know.

froggy

_________________________
??

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#140036 - 02/02/07 01:20 PM Re: i like somethings about myself but not all [Re: froggy12]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i know - froggy - i know

there goes the neighborhood!

:P

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
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