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#139354 - 01/28/07 09:39 PM Re: Was this abuse? [Re: areiceff]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Areiceff,
Just one more thing, I just thought of. Since it was not legally abuse because of your age, it might not be wise to tell people he abused you except for maybe trusted family members or trusted friends, therapists or other health professionals that are bound to confidentiality. The reason I say this is because if you accuse him of abusing you, maybe considered slander (if said) or libel (if written). I am not saying he didn't abuse you, I believe that he did just that because he didn't legally do it, he might have grounds for a lawsuit if you told people he did.

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#139357 - 01/28/07 09:43 PM Re: Was this abuse? [Re: onlyakid]
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
What?

Tell whoever you want. If you get the word out about him, maybe some other kids will come forward. Have no fear of a lawsuit. He would have to show that you disclosed for personal gain. It would take one hell of a lawyer to prove that disclosing abuse is for personal gain.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#139377 - 01/29/07 12:16 AM Re: Was this abuse? [Re: Nobbynobs]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Sorry, I said that I didn't mean to imply that it should be a secret I was just more concerned about a possible lawsuit. I'm not a lawyer and I don't know the laws about slander/libel.

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#139382 - 01/29/07 12:44 AM Re: Was this abuse? [Re: areiceff]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i just wanted to say your not to blame for stuff he did after he molested you ,all the blame is his. kids are not responsible for things adults do .

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#139403 - 01/29/07 03:44 AM Re: Was this abuse? [Re: areiceff]
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
I'm glad you have made it here. I agree with everyone that it was abuse. I know you can find the strength to talk to your wife about it if and when you are ready. I realize that can be difficult, because of a fear she will react like your doctor.

It was hard to tell my wife, because I still had feelings of it being my fault, thoughts that I "must" be gay. I wish we had talked about it a lot more, a lot sooner in our marriage.


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#139467 - 01/29/07 10:30 PM Re: Was this abuse? [Re: KeithR]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
This is the way I see it, the responsibility to heal is yours and yours alone. Only you can decide if what happened was wrong, and you most certainly DO NOT have to be able to explain WHY it was wrong. Do you see? By needing an explanation, we are invalidate our own feelings. If anyone insists on justification, they are bullying you and the conversation should thus end.

I came to terms with that right many years ago and it has been extremely powerful in so many areas of my life.

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#139469 - 01/29/07 10:34 PM Re: Was this abuse? [Re: onlyakid]
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
Originally Posted By: jtt5254
Areiceff,
Just one more thing, I just thought of. Since it was not legally abuse because of your age, it might not be wise to tell people he abused you except for maybe trusted family members or trusted friends, therapists or other health professionals that are bound to confidentiality. The reason I say this is because if you accuse him of abusing you, maybe considered slander (if said) or libel (if written). I am not saying he didn't abuse you, I believe that he did just that because he didn't legally do it, he might have grounds for a lawsuit if you told people he did.



i dont think he needs to worry about that since this guy was already convicted for abusing other kids. just cuz he happened to not be underage doesn't make his situation any different.

_________________________
nothing to see here

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