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#139058 - 01/26/07 02:31 AM Disclosing more:
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
For any of you that know me and my story, you will remember that I have an older brother. When I was 9 years old, I disclosed to him and his friend instead of my parents, and THEY LAUGHED AND MADE FUN OF ME!

Their reactions to my disclosure sealed my lid of silence for 27 fucking years. We've not discussed this summer of 1978 ever since.

Well, I'm gonna write and mail a letter to him and a copy to my parents! He's not had to think about this since 1978, but I'm gonna slap him in the face and make him think about what he did to me.

My God! I was a 9-year-old boy, and I told my older brother that I was SEXUALLY MOLESTED and they LAUGHED AND MADE FUN OF ME!!!!!!

I'm gonna tell him what he did to me.

More to come, I can't talk about this more right now, I'm too pissed off. shit


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#139059 - 01/26/07 02:32 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: Hauser]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
I'm gonna let him HAVE IT.


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#139065 - 01/26/07 04:29 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: Hauser]
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
you let him have it hauser!! what a terrible reaction, no wonder you were afraid to tell after that. that pisses me off, they had no right.

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#139081 - 01/26/07 08:39 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: batcountry]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
sooner or later your gonna run out of people to blame ,then you will see who the real person that hurt you is , your parents and your brother are guilty of being idiots ,but its your perp that hurt you the most ,the guy who pulled you in with a fake friendship and then ripped your heart out . he knew exactly what he was doing ,he knew the destruction he was causing ,he just didnt care

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#139082 - 01/26/07 08:44 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: shadowkid]
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
How old was your brother when you were 9 years old and told him? If he also was a child, I would not place blame on him, even if his reaction was negative. Children can't be held responsible for saving other children. Adults can.

I just, I hope you do think on it some more, and decide for yourself whether his reaction 27 years ago is still worth so much anger that you will attack now. But of course, only you can know what is the best decision.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#139100 - 01/26/07 11:14 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: Leosha]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
He was going into 6th grade, and I was going into 4th grade in the summer of 78'.

shit


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#139101 - 01/26/07 11:32 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: Hauser]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
WHY didn't I tell my DAD? WHY? Well let's see here, I have a list of things to do (to prevent CSA) and well, what do you know? My parents were GUILTY of failing to do MOST of these things:

_________________________________________________________________
The typical advice "Don't Talk to Strangers" doesn't apply in this case. Most sexual perpetrators are known to their victims.

Do not instruct children to give relatives hugs and kisses. Let them express affection on their own terms.

Teach your children basic sexual education. Teach them that no one should touch the "private" parts of their body. A health professional can also help to communicate sex education to children if parents are uncomfortable doing so.

Develop strong communication skills with your children. Encourage them to ask questions and talk about their experiences. Explain the importance of reporting abuse to you or another trusted adult.

Teach your children that sexual advances from adults are wrong and against the law. Give them the confidence to assert themselves against any adult who attempts to abuse them.

Know where your children are at all times. Be familiar with their friends and daily activities.

Teach your children that their bodies are their own. That it is OK to say they do not want a hug or that certain kinds of contact make them uncomfortable.

It is important to remember that physical force is often not necessary to engage a child in sexual activity. Children are trusting and dependent and will often do what is asked of them to gain approval and love.
_________________________________________________________________


They are GUILTY AS HELL of this neglect!!! Jesus, WHY did they have to be so busy either leaving me (my Mom was going to college full time so that she could be "independent" and LEAVE us) or working on the stupid house (my Dad moved us into a 100yo house that needed repairs) to keep me from seeking the attention of the fucking pedophile down the street? God why was I not told this? Why?


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#139104 - 01/26/07 11:45 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: Hauser]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
So......I didn't want to say "Dad, ummmm I made this friend down the street, he's an older man and he's really cool, but....well he talked me into sucking his dick and I didn't like it".

So, NO I DIDN'T FUCKING TELL him because I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO!!!

If I had any idea that what he was doing would have made me so GOD DAMNED DYSFUNCTIONAL IN MY ADULT LIFE I WOULD HAVE TOLD!!!!


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#139105 - 01/26/07 11:53 AM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: Hauser]
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
hauser, despite what some in this thread are saying... yeah your perp was the one that hurt you most, but it never would have happened if your parents did their jobs. they do not deserve ALL of the blame but they sure as hell deserve some of it! how could you have known, as a little kid, all the details of what you were and werent supposed to do and what was ok and what was not if no one taught you. its the parents job to do that. and they failed.

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#139154 - 01/26/07 08:36 PM Re: Disclosing more: [Re: batcountry]
AshSurvived Offline
Member

Registered: 01/07/07
Posts: 167
Loc: Australia
I'm in no position to give advice, but I'm with you all the way Hauser. Your parents had a very simple job, hell, evolution takes care of most of it for us, it doesn't take any effort to love your own children surely, it doesn't take much effort to care for them and do what comes naturally.

No, they had to put in a lot of effort to ruin your life, and for that I would give them hell. You can always make up later, but if you have the guts to pay out on them, I say give it all you've got.

Parents get all the votes and all the slack, I think they all deserve a bit of reality, a bit of responsability to balance out their sense of entitlement. I clearly have issues with my family too.

_________________________
"It's your world Dave, I'm just livin' in it"

- Harvey Pekar to David Letterman
(American Splendour)

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