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#135041 - 02/14/06 05:37 PM Doctors
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Hey All,

I had to go to the doctor the other day for my annual checkup.

It's never pleasant, I mean he checks everywhere if you know what I mean. And there's always the old, "Turn your head and cough."

So many times I hear from survivors about being too frightened of the doctor (including dentists) to go for a checkup. Many times it's for the obvious reasons having to do with all the 'guy' tests but sometimes it's because you just don't go. I was there once for a stretch where I didn't go to the dentist... I just didn't go. Later I found this had to do with not really liking myself and deep down feeling like I wasn't worth taking care of.

Listen, you should really get yourself a checkup... You may be the type to play tough and say, "I'm healthier then I've ever been! I don't need a doctor to tell me that." But maybe, just maybe you don't like anyone touching you. If that's the case find yourself a doctor you're comfortable talking to and tell him you're nervous because you "had issues" when you were a kid. That's all you have to say, they'll understand (and if they don't, you don't want them as a doctor anyway).

Take care of yourselves.

Go easily,

Curtis


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#135042 - 02/14/06 06:41 PM Re: Doctors
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Curtis,

It's good you bring this up! My big problems with doctors are being touched in general, and especially being held by my head. But once I told my doctor I was a survivor all that changed. She's very careful now. She doesn't approach me from behind, doesn't touch me without asking first, and in an exam she always explains what she's going to do and what I will feel.

I still have problems with dentists, and again, it's the issue of being held by my head. Same thing with getting a haircut.

One thing at a time I guess.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#135043 - 02/15/06 04:58 AM Re: Doctors
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Hi Curtis,

Yeah - I'm guilty of all you said there - don't take very good care of my body - just keep telling myself that I'm tough - that I'm healthy enough...

It'll be 10 years since I've last seen a dentist - I'll admit that most of the reason for that in the past has been that I just did'nt care about my teeth (at around 10 I was made to sit in the orthodontists chair and tell him straight to his face that I did not want my teeth fixed (braces) cause I'll never do anything in life that I'll need a good smile for - I am not sure why he never challenged me on saying that or probed for deeper reason - course, mom was standing right there to make sure I said what she wanted me to...) - I also don't like anything in my mouth that is'nt food (thanks uncle!)

Doctors have always been a real struggle for me too - I've wondered if I'd feel more at ease with a woman doc (a man puts his hands below the beltline on me and I'm mentaly 'gone' - thanks again uncle!) - but have always gotten a man cause it just seems that is the 'norm' - and I'd feel kinda weird asking for a female doc - I mean, would'nt they ask questions??? - are they even allowed to do 'male' exams???

Without any insurance I probably won't be going to the doc for a while - but I spose that when I do get insurance again I got a lot of catching up to do...

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#135044 - 04/06/06 05:14 PM Re: Doctors
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I hate picking the phone up to make an appointment with the doctor.
I have to go,or I dont get money or meds.

I make sure I get there 15 minutes before I should to just walk around and be composed.
Dentists are even worse for me, opticians and barber shops.

Think barbers is probably the worst of all for me,
because I hate them touching my head,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#135045 - 04/07/06 12:29 AM Re: Doctors
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Curtis,

Quote:
If that's the case find yourself a doctor you're comfortable talking to and tell him you're nervous because you "had issues" when you were a kid. That's all you have to say, they'll understand (and if they don't, you don't want them as a doctor anyway).
Some medical issues I am having lead me to comment here. My experience is that all the doctors and specialists involved will react sympathetically if we will only tell them we have "childhood issues" with being touched, especially in private places. That's more than enough, and nothing else need be said.

It's back to the problem of asking for what we need. Survivors so often find it difficult to do that, but if we will just ask, more often than not the consideration we need will be right there for us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#135046 - 05/10/06 11:21 PM Re: Doctors
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Saw the urologist today....prostate check. but it wasn't to bad, just always dread it.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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#135047 - 05/10/06 11:40 PM Re: Doctors
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ken,

Glad it went well, but yes, these things are really bad news aren't they? I just hate them.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#135048 - 05/11/06 05:21 AM Re: Doctors
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
My problem is, it's like I get in there for something else and ole doc up and says, "Now while we're here, we may as well...", and I'm done for, but I think he knows me too well, and knows I won't make the appointment so he takes me when he can. He's always very gentle and always tells me exactly what I'm gonna feel when, so it's really not too bad, but still...

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#135049 - 05/11/06 10:27 AM Re: Doctors
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Larry,

just talking about childhood issued when you are middle aged is tough.
I did it, had to, but felt so low to actually admit it took so long to tell.

The reason we kept silent as kids was because our minds told us there was no way out, nobody could fathom this hurt.

All the issues that bring us to this point in time, and needing a doc, are pretty much sketchy.
Sketchy, because it has distorted our vision of true worth and spirit.

Every doc, I have seen has told me its a do it yourself job, go and read books.
Why tell me that?
Because unless you are prepared to fight, you cannot get the resources you need.

I am prepared to fight, even if its for others who dont have the guidance of this place.
Yeah, I will do it for all,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#135050 - 05/11/06 10:34 AM Re: Doctors
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

When we feel especially uncomfortable, though, I think it's the little guy showing his cards. When I go through these things I don't just feel uncomfortable, but rather helpless and vulnerable in a childlike way.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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