Liam - It's certainly hard to look up when everything in life seems down. I hear your cry for the host of things taken from you and forever destroyed. I also know that if we keep looking down we will miss whatever it is we passby if we had looked up. Why look up? Because we all have somethings we DO HAVE. I have spent my times in the deep dark pits, the utter darkness [ my abuse and its initial effects ruined 16+ years from 5 years old until it stopped by age 21] which placed me in self-injury (suicide). I had to push myself to look up. I had to force myself to "What I did have rather than what I did not have"! I'm glad I kept the faith and pushed forward because, had I given up, I'd have missed the lives of my children, my grandson, my life's worth in working with kids who are sexually abused. It is thrilling to see them escape the crap/hell we have to endure! There is a life ahead of you where you will find the joy and happiness you can't see nor feel now! I wish I could reach out and pick you up and show you what lies ahead!! Now there is pain, darkness but there is light ahead!!!
My thoughts and prayers go with you!!!
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd