Wow, not really ready to talk about it yet, but you never know when you talk about a personal problem here what it might do for someone else. I started reading this thread and "wham" a connection and understanding hit me having to do with one of my abuse situations which I remember vividly and something I do now, which I have never understood. The two, which I never have connected before, just suddenly fused together as one thing in my brain. Holy sh_ _! You never know when you come here and start reading what will happen. Sorry to go on and on, but I'm sort of in a shock of understanding here. Thanks, BP, for being willing to share some of yourself here with us. You never know when you're going to help a fellow traveler on this very strange and rocky road.
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.