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#132542 - 08/27/06 12:40 AM Wedding
usccabum1985 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Illinois
So I have this frind who invited me to a wedding. My frind is going to be a brides maid in the wedding. So now hears where it get a little confusing. so in my other posts I have talked about the difficultys I have with being a virgin. ( if you must ask see my other posts) so as the day of the wedding draws near I am starting to wonder. I have no experince in this but I think Im being brought to the wedding to be this brides maids piece of ass. Now dont get me wrong this COULD be what Iv been wating for execpt for one thing. I am not sexulay attracted to her. I could not let my first time be with someone of her build. Dont get me wrong I like her as a frind and only a frind. Im going to the wedding and cant back out now, but if the question comes up how do I let her off gently with out herting her fealings. ( she might be thinking that If I want to have sex than I wouldent be picky) well I couldnt do her. any advice so I dont end up being a jack ass. I also want to avoid the whole in the moment thing. any advice would be welcome. Thankyou.

_________________________
"same old repitition fealing up and down agen, sorrow is a highway that never seams to end"
- Jeff Austen, Younder Mountain String band

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#132543 - 08/27/06 03:45 AM Re: Wedding
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
usccabum,

If you have been invited to a wedding by a girl who's a bridesmaid, that sounds like a rather nice occasion and I hope you both have a good time. But neither of you owe the other one sex, and certainly agreeing to be the date for someone in the bridal party doesn't line you up to be intimate with her if that's not what you want to do.

You probably won't have to tell her anything in particular. She ought to be able to pick up on your body language and the way you relate to her - as a friend sharing a happy occasion rather than as a date with whom you are exploring possibilities for intimacy. But if things feel like they might later get out of control you could find some gracious way of indicating that you value your friendship but aren't interested in a romantic relationship with her. And watch, of course, how much you drink!

On losing your virginity, whenever that comes I hope it's with someone kind and understanding, someone to whom you can just honestly say this is your first time and then relax and enjoy the experience together.

Young men tend to think of this moment as a validation of their manhood and something of a "conquest", therefore the conquest should be as attractive as possible. Attractive sounds good, sure, but looking back on my first time with a girl I would have to say that what made it special wasn't her looks but the fact that she and I were good friends, both virgins, and both worried and anxious but wanting it to be special for each other as well as for ourselves.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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