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#132412 - 06/22/06 09:27 PM plesure trubles
usccabum1985 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Illinois
So, I was abused by a female babysitter when I was 6. there was intercourse and oral sex. Read my other post in survivor stories if you want to know more.
Hears the deal; I was never sexualy active untill I was in my late teens ie 19. And by active i mean masterbating, sex just wasnt um, lets just say girls were akward. so I materbated or so i tried. I could get an erection but that was about it. I talked to my docter and thatapst, and both concluded that It probobly wasent a medical problam. so my question is this has any one else experenced this? Now keep in mind that at 21 I have never had sex, still trying but so far no dice. how long dose this akwardness last and is the whole not having an orgasim thing somthing to be concerned about? thankyou for any replys

_________________________
"same old repitition fealing up and down agen, sorrow is a highway that never seams to end"
- Jeff Austen, Younder Mountain String band

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#132413 - 06/22/06 10:16 PM Re: plesure trubles
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
usccabum,

One thing you should remember is that all the feelings of fear, shame, confusion and guilt that a boy picks up during abuse will continue with him over the years. They may sink below the surface where they are difficult to identify, but man, they are still there! I remember from my own youth that by the age of 14 I had learned that sex is only this: something that adults do to children to hurt them.

It doesn't surprise me at all that you have been affected like this, but the point is that there is nothing wrong with you. What is fucked up is what was done to you by the babysitter.

Your therapist will help you to see that the way forward isn't to aim directly at the problems with erection, orgasm, intercourse, and so on, but rather to focus on why you have these bad feelings in the first place. That may take some time, but just believe in yourself. You can do this!

Keep posting if you can. It is always better to talk about things and let your feelings out, rather than bottle them up.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#132414 - 06/23/06 03:42 PM Re: plesure trubles
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Yes, the "no orgasm" thing is something that I would be concerned about.
Your God-given rights to a healthy, happy sexuality have been impaired by this abuse -- it's a shame that the "legal system" did not seem to recognize the capacity for lasting harm done by your perp.
In the meantime, for your own healing and well being, I'd re-read Larry's posting above and, when possible, start examining this issues with an experienced and competent CSA T.
Keep posting,
Love, etc.,

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

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