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#132390 - 05/30/06 08:51 PM Re: What does it mean to be masculine in a ....
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
ToT,

Quote:
At any rate, I am seeking out what is good and lovable about me...what contributes to making me a desirable type of man. Authentic, I can do that, but is that it?
Yes, that is it, at least as a foundation. Learning to be true to yourself and to LOVE yourself like that will surely make everything else look a lot less difficult.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#132391 - 06/02/06 05:06 PM Re: What does it mean to be masculine in a ....
TrailofTears Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/06
Posts: 41
Loc: Central Kentucky
I was thinking and Authenticity is really about how to be a descent person and is not really masculine or feminine. Again I get tired of the labeling process; I want to be lovable, desirable and attractive to women and I want respect from other men.....I guess I want to be liked and cared for and who doesn't want that? I want to be loved for me, unconditionally and I did not get that as a child and don't supppose it is very realistic to expect that from an adult relationship. People cheat, lie, and betray...Am I just setting myself up for more emotional pain by wanting these things? ......Sorry, thought just came pouring out.
ToT


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#132392 - 06/02/06 05:17 PM Re: What does it mean to be masculine in a ....
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
ToT,

No need for an apology. Your thoughts are right on the money.

I think we are all easily tempted to accommodate what we think other people want, because this way we will receive immediate approval and validation. I think this is the situation that has you troubled.

And good thing too! What a heavy price for approval! To be approved for one's acting rather than for one's self? To disrespect oneself or betray one's values for the sake of rewards from other people? I think that is always a danger when we push too hard: on each other and on ourselves.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#132393 - 06/29/06 02:41 PM Re: What does it mean to be masculine in a ....
TrailofTears Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/06
Posts: 41
Loc: Central Kentucky
I have finally discovered that no other persons love matters as much as my love towards myself. It has to start there or I will have nothing to share with another. I will forever be chasing externals for self validation if I don't love myself faults, flaws and all. I choose to give myself the love I never had as a child and to stop waiting for someone else to do it for me!!!
I understand that what happened and the things that were said really were lies....what sweet release!!!
ToT


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