i have had a hard time at points, because believe me, shemales are only one small part of my sexuality. i just gave up trying to apply all sorts of labels, and just coined the term omnisexual to describe myself. let your mind wander, and i would likely enjoy it. it would be easier to name things i wouldnt like than what i do. despite that, i have lived a fairly ordinary life as an adult, because i hid and controlled this. the main difference between now and before is that i am honest with myself, and i allow myself to just enjoy the person i am.

Man you guys are right, it is just fantacy, and who cares, hell I bet people who have not been molested have fantacy's about the so called wierd sexual things. I am going to let it rest and I embrase my feelings, either way they are going away one day at a time, or should I say dieing down anyway.

Thanks for your post, it is great to know I am not alone in all of this. Without you commenting I would have felt like I was back in the boat alone, thanks for being honest and brave enough to let it out, it really helped me.

John,

I would be willing to bet that experts would tell us that EVERYONE has sexual fantasies. So far as I can see, so long as a guy's thinking is honest and responsible, acting on his sexual thoughts will not be a cause of harm to himself or others.

I don't mean to be over-simplistic here. It's no mean trick to stay honest and responsible where sex is concerned! But I think it's a good yardstick to bear in mind when we are tempted to get down on ourselves over sexual issues.

Much love,
Larry

John,

it isnt really as simple as saying, 'i'm going to be okay with this now.'

what it really takes is being okay with it deep down inside. you can try and pull it off mechanicly, where you tell yourself, i'm cool with this, but i found that didnt work too good. i really didnt get relief until i was okay with it deep down inside, on a moral, soulful, fiber level. anything short of that, and you act one way on the surface and another way inside, so you end up feeling fake and guilty. i'm not even really sure when that change happened for me, or what brought it on. i just kept digging into the abuse, the pain, my sexuality, and i found a lot of others have the same fantasies. it all helped me to come to peace with it. now i give myself credit. i've had all this stuff all my life, but i have also had the self-respect and self-discipline to control how i act. i could have just gone with it, and ended up in jail or something, but i didnt. sometimes, it is easy to overlook the strength and good things we done, and beat ourselves up over the bad. i have a bad habit of that, but i am getting better at that too.

I agree phoster, I totally agree. I am saying just what you said in the end of your post, I am just not going to beat myself up over anything any more. That seems to help with the fantacy also, the less I stress over it the more I feel the need to act out.

Thanks guys,

The "less" I feel the need to act out. The more I thought or worried about I felt the need to act out more, stress drives you to act out I think.

Dear John,
In reply to your post of 28 February, I am very attracted to shemales; but only since seeing them on the internet some years ago. I don't know if I would ever have gone down that path had it not been for that.
I have always counted myself as a hetrosexual, but I am increasingly drawn to shemales. What started as revultion turned to curiousity and then experimenting with ladyboys and shemales for sex. I am single at the moment, so I presume (rightly or wrongly) that in that situation, one's sexual drives can go awray. However, my interest has developed into enjoyment of the shemale penis, as opposed to just the anus. I should add that I am totally abhorred by the thought of the male form and do not have any homosexual inclinations whatsoever.
The best de>

I never had any thoughts of them until the internet, just like you stated. I thought they were disgusting before the internet and then, again just as you said they appeared to grow on me, it actually helped me experience my fear that I would turn out to be homosexual as an adult; like I thought everyone thought I would. I am married with children and I have only experimented with shemales online with pornography and as I said it helped me get it out of my system, I tried it, fantacy and soon came to realize that I did not like it, now I am off of the shemale thing and getting more in tune with my passion for my wife which is great, now that I am not confused about my sexual identity I am growing, feeling different with my wife in bed. I never thought it could be so good, it is different because I have always thought I was the one to please, never pleased always pleasing i.e. I never relaxed and let her please me and it messed things up. I hope this helps.

Thanks for the reply,

Post deleted by ModTeam

John, I accidentally discovered I was attracted to shemales when I was in my teens in school, I saw one in a magazine. Then years later I stumbled across them on the web. I find the real ones weren't my thing, and later I discovered Futanari - Hentai shemales, and found that does the trick. But like you, the interest is waning. I don't view porn or sexual idenitity as a big deal these days, now that I am in therapy and realising the difference between me and the things the abuse did to me.

As far as finding your own sexuality, I think that just gradually happens as you heal. I'm not sure fantasy or divergent sexuality is anything more than an academic curiosity really; it doesn't make a lot of evolutionary sense to me for people to be much more than vanilla heterosexuals at their core.