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#132264 - 03/17/06 01:19 PM Re: femininity
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
boy, if i had a dollar for every time my wife said we have our rolls reversed.

let me ask you, what's wrong with being feminine? if you remove all of society's messages and all, i think it is a pretty good deal. typically females are neater, cleaner, more nurturing and affectionate. i guess i have a ton of feminine qualities, but most of them are good ones. in fact, i think i could largely get help and recover because i have those qualities. typical men have a really hard time getting help, because they are stuck in the rut off bulling their way through. they dont have that emotional softness that allows them to be weak and needy.

look, the reason this troubles you is that you think the world judges you for it, and some people might. as a whole though, the world doesnt care about your feminine ways. you have to blow off that small percentage that does, and label them for the jerks they are. then you have to just relax and be yourself.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#132265 - 03/17/06 02:21 PM Re: femininity
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
phoster,

I think you have said it all yourself. I would just add that if you have a lot of the qualities that society usually associates with women, that doesn't make you feminine. It just makes you a caring and sensitive man. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#132266 - 03/18/06 03:57 PM Re: femininity
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
I would just like to add another piece of food for thought - I think that it all boils down to the question: "What does it mean to be a man?" I think that the women's liberation movement in the 60s and 70s did a lot for empowering women, but I think it also threw men in general into a state of confusion. We have a difficult time grasping on our roles as men - not just the guys who were victims of SA.
I know that I don't feel that I fit the "mold" of what society defines as a man - I have decided that I will be the man that I have grown to be and the *ell with society.

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#132267 - 03/19/06 01:00 PM Re: femininity
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I really like the way SD puts it:

Quote:
I have decided that I will be the man that I have grown to be and the *ell with society.
It would be impossible to ever "fit" the traditional macho mold that is thrown at us all the time for defining who a man is. No one of us can do that, not even the models, pretty boys and hunk bodybuilders stuck under our noses to compare ourselves to (negatively) every day.

The best thing we can do, and the only thing we should do I think, is to discover who we really are and be true to ourselves. How will we every be happy if we keep running after illusions?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#132268 - 04/24/06 05:26 PM Re: femininity
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
My take on this is pretty familiar to the original poster.
I too am always around women, its like I am not a threat to them.

Men on the other hand, while most like me, I dont trust them so easily.
Women who act like men I also distrust.

I think it is inevitable that boys abused by men are more likely to cling to an inner female trait.
Even though it has caused past hurt, I am glad of who I am, and more thoughtful than the macho men.

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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