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#132183 - 11/04/05 06:08 AM Re: wasting time on porn
Russ2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 77
okay, lemme see if I have this right -- porn* is bad? ...or is it only bad when we indulge excessively? ...or is it only bad when it takes the place of an interpersonal relationship? ...what about when it prevents someone from acting out recklessly, or dangerously?

thanks
russ

* the legal stuff, of course.


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#132184 - 11/04/05 01:58 PM Re: wasting time on porn
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Russ,

I'm no expert, nor am I an opponent of legal pornography. I would just ask does porn ever "prevent" someone from acting out recklessly?

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#132185 - 11/04/05 08:26 PM Re: wasting time on porn
Russ2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 77
hi larry. indeed, it may not actually prevent such behavior. but could a man's responsible use of porn (and the subsequent release which goes along with it) in some way minimize one's need for a midnight romp in the local park, or after work trolling through some dirty adult theater?


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#132186 - 11/05/05 07:51 PM Re: wasting time on porn
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Russ,

I suppose so, and again, I am not an opponent of (legal) porn or a moralizer on this issue. It just seems rather like alcohol to me - with lots of potential for big problems.

I wish I could be more specific; it just isn't something I have thought about much or in a productive way. In any case, I'm in a bit of a sensitive and raw place right now, and so issues like this probably just appear very unnerving to me at the moment.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#132187 - 11/07/05 08:41 PM Re: wasting time on porn
Galapogos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 110
Loc: usa
I don't think legal porn is bad, or evil. I'm not making a judgement about it, I'm just talking about how I've been affected by it.

I suppose alcohol is a good analogy. I like a good micro brew now and again, sure I like the flavor, but I drink it for the buzz.

I once attended a seminar on addiction and heard that 10% of the U.S. population will have their lives adversely affected by alcholism, 60% will consume alcohol with no major impact, and 30% don't drink, or rarely consume alcohol at all.

I'm guessing the numbers are probably similar for most addictions, alcohol, porn, gamblng, etc.

_________________________
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
--Peter Gabriel

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#132188 - 11/10/05 07:21 PM Re: wasting time on porn
Russ2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 77
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were talking about being "addicted" to porn. Addiction to anything is unhealthy.


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#132189 - 11/12/05 11:04 PM Re: wasting time on porn
Galapogos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 110
Loc: usa
Well, I don't know...maybe we are talking about addiction. maybe not. I just used alcohol as a comparison.

_________________________
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
--Peter Gabriel

Top
#132190 - 11/14/05 01:07 PM Re: wasting time on porn
igotsunshine Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/14/05
Posts: 12
Loc: pakistan
maybe porn is a way of giving us what we need, a safe controlled way of having a lover or sexual stimulation. That is self defeating if in fact it prevents us from forming a meaningful connection with another person as it usually tends to do.


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#132191 - 11/15/05 09:15 PM Re: wasting time on porn
Dan88 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/02
Posts: 247
Loc: DC
In my past, pornography certainly played a role in my addictive behaviors. The process of getting sexually aroused releases a lot of nifty chemicals into your your brain.

The article Ken posted sums it up nicely, I think. For some people viewing porn is a self-defeating behavior, if they use it compusively to self medicate, just like for some people drinking alcohol is a self-defeating behavior for the same reason.

The trouble is it usually doesn't start out as a self-defeating behavior and you have to figure out for yourself if or when it becomes one. Everyone I've ever known who quit drinking will say that they stopped drinking not because alcohol is evil but because it was doing them more harm than good, personally. Figuring out when the scales tipped was the tough part.


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#132192 - 11/22/05 03:31 AM Re: wasting time on porn
freemen Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/20/05
Posts: 18
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Searching Porn for my abuser

I used to spend hours and hours scanning through porn looking for something - for one thing - one type of person - one body type - dark hair, thin, in good shape - hairy body - and I knew exactly what type of penis I was searching for.

It took me a few years to realize that I was actually looking for a similar body and penis type that my abuser had. I would go through hundreds of pictures, and then I'd find it. THE photo. THE male.

I'd masturbate angrily and feel horrible afterwards searching for feelings or some reaction or just something positive. The next night, I'd start again. Before the internet, I'd go through magazines searching for the same thing or even erotic stories where I might find my abuser to try to connect with another individual with a similar experience.

In one therapy session I realized what it was - or - who it was - I was searching for. I found it. I have saved the photo - the photo that most resembles my uncle during the years of abuse when I was a child. It allows me to expel my emotions - I can purge, cry, scream and try to forgive.
Almost overnight, the frantic searching stopped.

I don't waste as much time on porn as I used to. But the hours and he money I wasted - just looking for that one image was rediculous.


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