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#131995 - 07/05/05 05:15 PM Is Bi-sexuality valid?
bkeithb Offline
Member

Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 63
Loc: Milwaukee
Just read article in NYT questioning the validity of bi-sexuality.

I know many of you have posted saying because of SA, there is a tendency towards bi feelings.

This article web page seems to be saying there's no such thing as being "bi."

Just curious as to how others may react to this study, I guess.

_________________________
bkeithb

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#131996 - 07/05/05 07:58 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
I read the article and it's an interesting study, but I guarantee that there are 10 more that refute it.

I think that the psychological field is fixated on pigeon-holing everyone. In the end, what does it matter? Each of us is an individual with arousals in a million different ranges. I think that it is much more important for us to be comfortable with ourselves and try to live a life in accordance with our hearts. Doesn't that make a lot more sense than trying to figure out what we are? IMHO

SD

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#131997 - 07/06/05 03:19 AM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
beachman Offline
Member

Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 33
Loc: Rhode Island
I like that idea of being comfortable with ourselves. I know that I try. And it feels right.
Thanks


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#131998 - 07/06/05 10:12 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
bkeithb Offline
Member

Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 63
Loc: Milwaukee
Probably should've said many of "us" have expressed these feelings, when I originally posted this study.

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#131999 - 07/09/05 08:51 AM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
Jake_t2398 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 131
bein Bi is very real i dont care what the psych studies say, jus my opinion jake


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#132000 - 07/11/05 03:05 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
bkeithb Offline
Member

Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 63
Loc: Milwaukee
Jake,

I agree. I struggle with my "bi" feelings so I know that they are real.

I wonder, though, if I would be struggling with these feelings if I had not be SA'd as a boy/teen? Would I not then have had further experiences with men in early adult years? Would I have been only hetero in orientation?

I've been married for nearly 17 yr. and love my wife dearly. I have never acted on any of my "bi" feelings since married. But I do know that they are real feelings. So I disagree with the article's preliminary findings.

Any health care professionals want to weigh in?

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bkeithb

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#132001 - 07/12/05 01:06 AM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Interesting, thanks for bringing this to our attention.
My therapist says that we are either gay or straight and that it is the abuse or interverence of our "normal" sexual development that causes us to question our sexuality with thoughts and desires of having sex, bisexually.
He goes on to explain that we have a pretty strong drive and that we can fixate on keyholes if so directed during those formative years.
I know how confused I became once I was introduced to sex by those who abused me.
Funny that abuse appeared no where in this article. I would think that they would want to rule it out so as not to "contaminate" their study.
Donald Mann, LCSW, is the guy who profers these thoughts. I'll see what I can do to get his article, "Sexual Orientation Confusion," included in our library of articles.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#132002 - 07/12/05 02:30 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
bkeithb Offline
Member

Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 63
Loc: Milwaukee
Thanks, it'd be great to read the article.

Keith

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bkeithb

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#132003 - 07/13/05 05:07 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
chuck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 97
Loc: mid atlantic
Keith,

I tend to agree with David. If I had not been sexually abused I might have sooner known what I am. I was so conflicted because of the emotions of abuse. If I said I was gay then did I really want to be abused or if I was straight maybe I could convince myself that I was abuse.

When I got married I was still conflicted and thought that marriage would help resolove the confusion. I was certain that I was stragight and these dreams and curoisity about sex with men would go away. They didn't and after almost 18years of marriage I told my wife that I was certain that I am gay. The rest of this story is probably better for another post. However the scxual abuse did cause me a great deal of confusion and denial about who I am especially pain for myself and my family.

I did read the article in my therapist's office and found it helpful for me.

Chuck


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#132004 - 07/13/05 05:32 PM Re: Is Bi-sexuality valid?
bkeithb Offline
Member

Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 63
Loc: Milwaukee
Thanks for sharing, Chuck.

I think I need to do more reading in this area. The article you read - is it the same one David mentions?

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bkeithb

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