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#131954 - 06/16/05 07:27 AM Women, relations,trigger?
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I think, that it - rather wrong thing. I had attitudes(relations) with some women. There was time as I was the teenager, that I do(make) it, for money, when I have no place to live. But even as the adult. If I - with the woman, and she(it) want this which is fine. I do(make) it. Feels, that it - to what I want. But then, I feel wrong with the woman. I do not examine(consider) women wrong or badly, I shall never do(make) it. But sometime it feels, women whom I dated, even with what I have been borrowed(occupied), they love sexual attitudes(relations) more, than they love me. The woman from whom I have been borrowed(occupied), she(it) did not want long attitudes(relations) of distance more so I speak, that I shall stop to be here, I shall move at home. Then she(it) interrupts with me, and does not want me more. Women with whom I was, they want me that I remind and as I force them to feel. They do not want me. Now there is who - that, I think, who really sees me and care (care) of me. And I feel, that I cannot be with it(her). I do not know that it means.

VN


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#131955 - 06/18/05 10:40 PM Re: Women, relations,trigger?
bec Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/02
Posts: 187
Loc: chicagoland area
hello VN:

i had trouble understanding your post. if you can post your words again maybe i could understand more. thanks.


bec


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#131956 - 06/19/05 01:37 AM Re: Women, relations,trigger?
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Bec,

you have met the results of computer translation!

What I can try to get mostly out of it, knowing this person and talking with him before, I think he is saying he is confused sexually with women. Because of past issues, he feels that the women he has been with want sex with him more then to be with him. And he has now found someone he wants to be with more, and can't (or won't) because he has fear that is what she wants, not him. So he is not with her.

That is what I think I can get from it, knowing the person and story, and without giving away more then he said here.

Leosha

(edited to clarify a thought)

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#131957 - 06/24/05 11:58 PM Re: Women, relations,trigger?
Shawn Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5
Loc: California
I too had that same interpretation of V's post. You must realize V that each woman, person is different. Because of your past, you know only one way. You did not have the feelings that went with being in a relationship, sexual or not. Now you have someone who cares for you. Who wants to be with you because you are YOU. Not because of your past, not because of your fears, but because she wants YOU and has feelings for YOU. I understand your confusion and this is something you must work out on your own. Just remember -- woman and men are all very different from each other.

Good luck V.

Shawn


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#131958 - 06/25/05 06:27 AM Re: Women, relations,trigger?
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
Thanks for answers. Yes, I think, that it - the disorder (confusion) to me right now. I wish companionable attitudes(relations) with the woman. I very much pass(miss) it right now. There is a woman here from which I feel very urgently, and I would like to be very much in attitudes(relations) with it(her). But I wish to know, that she(it) wants to be in attitudes(relations) with me because of me, not because of a wish only sexual aspect of it. It - a deviation(rejection) so many other things, and it - what I am not confident, that I can deal right now.

VN


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#131959 - 06/25/05 09:42 AM Re: Women, relations,trigger?
sabooka Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 209
Loc: I would like to know also
VN

I think we as SA survivers always see ouselves as SA survivors. We forget that other people can see as as human beings. We were taught by our abusers to have a low self estem and to think that all we are good for is being abused.

That is not the case. We need to get beyond our negative image of ourselves be cause it is not true. We and you included are good caring people who deserve happiness. It is often us who put up the barrier to stop other people from getting to close. We are afraid they will see us the same way we see ourselves.

The woman who you are interested in most likely sees you as a wonderful and caring individual who is brave and honourable. She sees the good qualities in you and accepts the negative as being part of you. If you can let your self be loved you will see that others really do love you.

I know that your past experiances of sexual relations has given you a negative image of sex. That is again a result of the abuse and the past.

It is not the past anylonger and now you are a free individual to do what you must do to be happy.

I hope that this was able to help you. If not please ignore completely.

Jonathan

_________________________
My happiness is not dependant on other people's misery.

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