Last night was on MTV Germany broadcast called Totally Gay.
The broadcast was made I think by MTV US and it is about Gay and Lesbian trends in pop culture and mass media.
Everything was covered, the all evolution from 1994 until present days. The topics were on modern pop gay and lesbian trends in fashion world, advertisements, movies, spots, reality shows, scandals, magazines, sports, marketing; in short in all aspects of pop culture.
I could not move my eyes from the TV and there were tens of sexual explicit scenes, with very good bodies needed to say, during the show.
The main point was how fast these trends are changing our perception, how is all that very good, how is that fun and normal, sexual borders are expanded more than ever in history etc.
I only know that today I am horny like hell with so many "normal" things that I saw on TV.
I hate this, I hate myself. It is so easy to trigger my sexuality with which I have very ambiguous feelings.

Where does this world really go?
And were am I going with it?

The answer is pretty much rude so I won't tell it here.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I am sorry but I had to wrote this babble to make ghosts go away fro my head.

Ivo

Ivo,

Rather than turn your attention to self hatred, take this opportunity to explore and accept your own sexuality. Be honest and forgiving with yourself. Who you are and how you feel is perfectly OK! It is natural. Accept it, enjoy it. There is no reason for you to feel shame or guilt.

I suffered from sexual confusion for many years. Only after I stopped trying to label or classify myself did I find peace with what I am. And what is that? Me. Just me. I am as I am and that’s all that I am.

Life can be good. Being horny can be good. It happens. Enjoy!

Aden

Ivo,

I can see your confusion looking at this stuff on TV, unfortunately, I used to watch it also, maybe I shouldn't have done because it puts my mind into chaotic mode.

Feel better about yourself, you are good, and there is nothing wrong with the experiences you go through, they will calm over time, believe me they do, but I know just how embarrassing these feelings can be, especially if you are young.

take care

ste

Aden and Ste,
thanks on your support.
I am ok now.

It is so good to have opportunity to learn from you and your experience.

Ivo