Looks like there are a lot of sexual identity issues!

Some people claim that we are either one way or the other, and some people (myself among them) claim that there is no black and white in the natural state. Much of our belief and self image is based on social/religious expectations. Our desire to conform with accepted definitions keeps us from exploring the full range of possibilities. I’ll admit that some of those possibilities are totally unacceptable to any civilized person.

Here is my situation, and in large part I blame these feeling on the abuse. But that was then, this is now, and here is where I am:

I am homosexual/heteroemotional. What that means is that I am physically attracted to guys and emotionally attracted to gals. It is not a highly workable situation. For me, sex and love are two very different issues. I can’t f*ck who I love and can’t love who I f*ck. Which has made for a lot of celibacy and not much love over the years. Obviously, this is not a resolved issue for me.

Much of our sexual identity depends on where we are in discovery, rather than who we are in our deepest hearts. Does sexual orientation ever change? Some say no. Some say yes. But only on the path of the traveler can the truth be found.

Aden

Aden - I believe you're right in much of what you say! There is no black or white but shades of gray. On the Kinsey Scale of Gender Identification I have never known a 1 (completely heterosexual) or a total 10 (completly homosexual) although they may exist. Many of the guys I know like woman (emotionally, socially,etc.) but are physically drawn to males. I do believe this is a result of early, same-sex trauma - habits learned, accepted, etc. I can identify with a childhood and adolescence filled with sexual acting out interspersed with abuse and rape. These events disturb and blend what would otherwise be normal developmental sexual learning. Who is there to share with or speak to resolving these issues? Even today, where do married bi/gay males talk about these things? Probably here on this board!

Thanks for sharing, Aden!

Howard

aden,

i am so there with your thinking and being confused.,

i love sex, have been i think addicted to it. from my s.a. at 10 to 11 until now.

i also cannot fully love others cuz i don't fully love myself.

what the hell are we?, i don't know. b ut i do think we are o.k., regardless. we gotta be safe, not put ourselves at risk.

i and we care about you.

guy

yes, well, anyway...