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#131462 - 08/15/04 05:48 AM Re: Bisexual Category
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I don't know what it is, what it feels, to be bisexual or homosexual. I have had feelings of 'sexual confusion' before, of course, and still have not been in that kind of intimite relationship.

But, and I mean this respectfully here, there are people here who suffer from all different kind of issues due to the abuse. I do not know that we could create a forum for them all. Will next we have a forum for those who cope by using drugs and alcohol? For those who have DID? Or how about forums of other languages, for foreign members here? Or age restricted forums? I do not mean to be facestious, it just seem that we spend enough of our lives 'categorized' or labeled in enough different ways. Here, we are all survivors, above our differences in personality and coping skills.

Just my opinion of it.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#131463 - 08/16/04 10:13 AM Re: Bisexual Category
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
I am happy to see that there is so much interest in this subject. As a survivor of sexual abuse, this forum and organization has been the cornerstone of the healing that continues in my life since I first signed on in the beginning of 2002. I've come to observe in my life and lives of other men, both survivors and not, that the sexual and emotional attraction some of us have to BOTH sexes presents its own conundrum in maneuvering our way through our lives. We ask, where do we want to go with this? So, yes Ken, I know that I would personally like to see a forum to discuss bisexual issues. There are other "hook-up" sites, and at least one yahoo group that addresses bisexual married men issues.

With respect to Leosha's comments about the cornicopia of labels, there are a lot of online and off resources for DID, substance and alcohol abuse, etc., issue.

Malesurvivor.org is in a unique position to offer intelligent support and facilitate dialog in this area from the survivor fram of reference.


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#131464 - 08/16/04 11:16 AM Re: Bisexual Category
Dan88 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/02
Posts: 247
Loc: DC
I would think that maybe the way to go is to start a forum specifically for bisexual issues. If it gets a lot of use, it's a great addition that was obviously needed. If it winds up not being used, it can be deleted.


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#131465 - 08/16/04 06:04 PM Re: Bisexual Category
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Then there's A-sexual & non-sexual.... as long as we support each other - that's what matters!

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#131466 - 08/17/04 01:13 AM Re: Bisexual Category
cpt. confusion Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/04
Posts: 159
Loc: midwest
i can see Lesoshas point about the labels, and I agree, but i also think that bisexuality is a topic that is broad enough to have a specific forum on. i know that personally i would benefit from the ability to relate to others that struggle with issues of sexuality, as i struggle myself. There are many topics that can spring from a bisexual forum, not only from those that know that they are bisexual, but also from those of us who have had experiences acting out with both sexes, and dont understand fully what it means to be homosexual, or heterosexual, or even bisexual! I have trouble understanding sexuality because of my abuse. sometimes i feel that there are no emotional ties to sex at all, and that it is purely a physical act to give and receive pleasure... maybe thats just it, maybe the answer isn't to create a forum called bisexuality, maybe there should be a forum simply titled sexuality, or something like that, where we could talk about issues regarding sexuality and its confusions in general, relating to people of any orientation. either way, i know that i personally would benefit from some type of forum that is directed towards issues specifically regarding sexuality and the problems that we have dealing with it.


cpt.

_________________________
"Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use."
-Carlos Castaneda

*WoR Alum
Sequoia I-March '11
Alta II, September '11

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#131467 - 08/17/04 11:13 AM Re: Bisexual Category
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
I think that sexual orientation should not constitute a separate category. CSA is the cause of much sexual confusion. We should all work thru that confusion together. Acceptance of our confusion by the individuals in the group who might not have yet confronted their own confusion might be one of the more beneficial aspects of our group therapy. If we divide ourselves into smaller and smaller groups, there is a lot of information that others who might benefit could miss out on.

There is a need to explore the issue of sexual confusion, but I think that this need lies among more of us than would be willing to visit a discussion specifically dedicated to Bi-sexuality.

We are not all one way or the other. In fact, were we to look deeply into our own hearts, very few of us are totally gay or straight. And the confusion caused our the abuse is part of what we have to deal with as survivors. We are all different. That is OK. Let just talk about it as a larger group rather than a bunch of small groups. Religions split off into different sects. But survivors should stick together.

Aden


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#131468 - 08/17/04 01:53 PM Re: Bisexual Category
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
How about something Like Confused Identity. Now that does not really really relate to gay or straight. But boy a lot of us are really confused.

Sexual confusion/identity issues

This is not really my suggestion but it comes from someone I really deeply respect here.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#131469 - 08/18/04 06:58 PM Re: Bisexual Category
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I've been watching this discussion with interest, and more than a bit of indecision.

James made a great point when he started the topic, and many guys agree with him. I do as well. but I also agree with Leosha and others that more 'labels' might not be the best way forward.
And I know that many Gay men here do get pissed off when guys come here and, like I did ( confused ) discuss our doubts and fears on the Gay forum in such a way that unwittingly denegrates being Gay.

So this forum seems like a good way forward.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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