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#129404 - 10/16/04 11:12 PM NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
Tom Perry Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 87
Loc: London
You



Edited by Tom Perry (11/20/07 11:34 AM)
_________________________
It is better to light one candle than curse the darkness.

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#129405 - 10/17/04 05:13 AM Re: NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
kolisha54 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/03
Posts: 475
Loc: Brooklyn, NY
You are an incredibly courageous human being!!!! To what do you attribute your fire? Most other people would have curdled & fled ages ago....

_________________________
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now... when? --Hillel

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#129407 - 10/17/04 12:13 PM Re: NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Tom,

I welcome you, and hold my hand out as a survivor.
I am really heartened in your courage to speak out on this subject.

I too was 11yo, I was attacked by a complete stranger, so my situation is so much harder to research, as it too is silenced.

The need to break the silence is indeed far overdue, there are little ones suffering all over the world, suffering a pain which will never go away, it will affect every minute of their lives, and everything they do.

In this country there certainly is some big cover up of the issue. This is a big question for me??? Why the cover up? Is it not to protect the ones at the top who are actively involved in procuring kids for sex?

Do you remember thomas hamilton, read the cover up that went on with that one. Ian huntley, another cover up, then we have the case in belgium yet another cover up. Just a few of the many cover ups, there will be more to come.

The truth in all of this, is that people do not have a clue about the emotional response a child goes through when sexual or any abuse occurs, they don't know about the bullying, the denial, the changes the kid has to make, just to live, and then of course are the really sad one's who never had the courage to get this far!!!

Imagine, if we as survivors carried on the cycle?
There is one MP in Wiltshire, who is very proactive on the subject, and there is a lot of awareness going on in that county. Look him up, he seems to be the one with the clout. I tried to find his email address without luck, but I will be contacting him in the near future.

I wish you well, and I hope they get convicted, my perp won't because I blocke the f**ks**T out, with all my other memories of childhood. That is memory lost through HELL and not desire.

ste

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Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#129409 - 10/17/04 08:48 PM Re: NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I will PM you the MPs name, but I found a good debate by a Nottinghamshire MP here,

very interesting,

http://www.grahamallen.labour.co.uk/ViewPage.cfm?Page=4762

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#129410 - 10/17/04 11:04 PM Re: NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Tom
"there's nothing like a good education."

And like you, my education was "nothing like a good education"

I'm 51yo and went to a crummy boarding school here in the Midlands, where I suffered over four years of abuse, mainly from a gang of older boy and also one teacher. Who effectively took over the 'gang'.
I'd like to think that boarding schols are different now, but I'm also acutely aware that pedo's are attracted to them like flies to shit, and pedo's are clever, patient and scheming people who also realise that schools are more aware of the risks. Pedo's just take more care not to get caught.

So far I have done nothing more than log the names I can remember with the local police. Maybe someday I'll pursue it further?

But I also see guys like yourself, and some other Survivors I know personally, who commit so much to pursuing the perp's and get so little recognition and understanding from those we elect and pay to server our interests. I don't know if I'm quite ready for that yet?

The cover up's are huge, and I know this starts at a very local level and goes on up, maybe to the very top?
Close to where I live there were a few childrens homes that during the 60's - 80's were rife with abusers. They worked in the homes as social workers, teachers and care staff. Even the drivers of local taxi firms who took the kids places were in on the abuse.
This I know to be fact.
I also know that some of these people have gone on to become pillars of our community by becoming local councillors and management of 'care' institions and services.

Some have been brought to justice, but they haven't grassed up the others yet. Some have commited suicide, some have just dissapeared of the face of the earth.
The remainder hang on grimly, denying everything.
I've talked to some of the Survivors and people in the sphere of helping Survivors, and I know who I believe.

This must be true across the land, and the world I don't doubt.
And it's the actions of the brave, and I include you in that list for sure, that will help make society a safer place.

I have a few reasons for remaining silent, but they are going away slowly. I admire what you are doing, maybe one day I'll do the same?

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#129413 - 10/18/04 09:35 AM Re: NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
Archnut Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 343
Loc: United Kingdom
"I will not be going quietly. A large number of people are starting to realise this".

I'm slowly beginning to realise this myself

All power to you Tom

Child Minister - Margaret Hodge - What was it she said about an abuse survivor?

"Margaret Hodge has made a formal court apology for falsely branding a sex abuse victim as "extremely disturbed".

Full report can be seen here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3283397.stm

And shes the Children Minister, god help us.

Archnut


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#129415 - 10/18/04 11:41 AM Re: NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
Archnut Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 343
Loc: United Kingdom
Thats the establishment for you.

T, Blair, C Blair (dont tell me she doesnt have any influence), J Straw, P Boateng, M Howard, M Ancram, M Campbell, Lord Falconer (former flat mate of Blairs and keeper of The Dome), Lord Goldsmith, Lord Kingsland.
And as for Lord Wolff? Words fail me.

All barristers, all lawmakers.

Imagine what it must be like to be an eleven year old sexual abuse survivor standing in a witness box being cross examined by the likes of Blair or Howard.

Cant imagine it?

All you have to do is watch Prime Ministers Question Time every week to see how barristers go about discrediting anyone that dare question thier motives.

You watch Blair back out of any TV debate with Howard ... ... Even he feels intimidated.

No wonder our legal system here in the UK is falling apart.

Archnut


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#129417 - 10/18/04 10:46 PM Re: NY Times "Outs" Caldicott School in UK
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Margaret Hodge ( childrens minister ) is a woman you'd never tire of slapping.

Tom, although I was abused by one teacher and could only ever say with certainty that he was / is an abuser I have serious doubts over about three or four other teachers, out of a teaching staff of about twelve.

I also know that there were two seperate 'gangs' of boys who abused younger boys.
The gang that groomed, beat and raped, then went on to abuse me for nearly 5 years was led by two very predatory boys, with possibly up to ten others who it appeared to me were very co-operative. But I was the youngest in this 'gang' and the co-operation of these other boys might have seemed different to me at the time, quite possibly they were also being abused rather than co-operating?

Over the last few years I have met and spoken with a few Survivors here in the UK that have gone through the legal system as their perp's have been tried.
Unfortunately nobody I've spoken to has anything good to say about the sytem.
One man I spoke to who saw most of the huge network of institutional perp's jailed for the worst offences the public had heard about at that time was just about hounded out of town because the 'fine upstanding residents' that were jailed STILL had respect in that town.

We've got a long way to go, but there are people out there prepared to fight for justice. It wont come easily, but every tiny victory makes it easier for the Survivors that follow.

I have nothing but respect for you guys.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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