Darn, It’s Good to be a Man...

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5,000; tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the darn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colors all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

But with an insistant wife, who wants your name changed because she had to, I had mine changed to Sr.
That long? Well the last few have been lasting hours, but I am talking to a woman. (a beautiful wonderful one)
Underwear? Ooops.
Even at 39.
I'd better get out and buy some. Unless you count my 12 pairs of boots.
What wrinkles?
Optional shaving is okay too. :p

Keep this light stuff coming.

:rolleyes: :p

Bill
You and my four year old.

You can get ready to go out in 15 minutes instead of 2 hours

Beer and a burger is considered 'health' food...