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#129123 - 09/10/04 04:58 AM What would you tell a rape victim?
parttimecop Offline
Member

Registered: 03/05/04
Posts: 139
Ok as men who have been violated we have insights that can be helpful to others suffering. We have knowledge of the pain and darkness involved in being sexually violated. So given that we are subject matter experts on sexual violation, what would you tell a female rape victim?


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#129124 - 09/10/04 10:34 AM Re: What would you tell a rape victim?
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Maybe a couple of things.

It was not your fault ever. It is the worst thing that has happened to you. I feel your pain and I too have suffered rape. I am here to talk with you and support you any way I can.

What you should not do is say. I understand how you feel . Nobody can understand anothers feelings.

My 2 cents

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#129125 - 09/10/04 11:00 PM Re: What would you tell a rape victim?
yesac76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
First and foremost, I would tell her I believe her. THat is paramount. The next thing I would tell he is that in NO way is it her fault.

_________________________
"You live it or lie it" Metallica

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#129126 - 09/12/04 02:57 AM Re: What would you tell a rape victim?
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I agree with what has already been said. Yes, you are believed. No, it is not your fault. You did nothing to bring it on. It is not a matter of how you dressed, if you drank, if you walked after dark. Nothing bring it on. Nothing is their fault.
Also, that however they are feeling is okay. That there are many emotions connected with such a situation, some that they are maybe not familiar with, and to try to not put blame or bad feelings on themselves. Also, whatever they decide to do about it, whether to get law involved or not, it is THE right choice for them. No one should ever be intimidated into pressing charges if they are not ready or able to.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#129127 - 09/13/04 03:11 PM Re: What would you tell a rape victim?
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Probably what everyone else said.

I believe you.
It's not your fault.
You have the right to say "no."
I'm sorry this happened.
I'm sorry (s)he/they hurt you so badly.
I'm here for you.
If you want to talk, I'll listen.
If you want to cry, I'll hold you.
If you want me to be here, I'm here.
I'll go with you to the hospital, if you want me to.
You must've been scared.
You must be very sad.
Please let me help you.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#129128 - 09/13/04 05:09 PM Re: What would you tell a rape victim?
Ivo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 267
Loc: Germany
I wouldn't be able to say anything; it would be too much for me.
I would just cry with her...

Ivo


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#129129 - 09/13/04 11:27 PM Re: What would you tell a rape victim?
theo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1117
ivo,
in a very real way, your response is the most eloquent in its truth of something beyond many. this is not to denigrate previous responses, by any means. it is just an awareness that there is nothing that can be said after such a violation, but the sharing of the journey is what matters most. those here know me and understand. nothing can be said, just shared.

_________________________
journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

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#129130 - 09/17/04 01:31 AM Re: What would you tell a rape victim?
InjunE Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/01
Posts: 89
Loc: Ohio
Personally, I would ask if she knew who the person who committed the rape was and kill the mydself. If she didn't, then I would assis her in contacting the cops. I would always want them dead, they deserve it. I would stand by them during the trial, and be there for them all the way.

_________________________
Without my sons, I would not be here.

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