yesterday a friend ... who i have known since age twelve .... said somethings so harshly over email... but rather - they seemed cold..
inconsiderate - ... but i know it is her ...

just her ...

i mean .. there's facets to communicating with people - that are coming so much more 'in my eyes'

she is a good friend... and has much to offer in terms of a caring .. knowledge... and support...

no one is perfect...
but i think i've not wanted think in terms of
the good and bad at once - in all -

i used to settel for any old treatment -

and now - after really being - the me i now know
safely - with caring and appreciation - and humanity....

i know i maybe didn't want to consider the good - and the impefect in myself - and so i think
to be treated as something - whole -

and not something receiving from an imperfect
source -

- it's hard to say - but i mean - i think there's little things that bug us - about each other ...

and then also - it frees us up to really find things in life - that satisfy us - so that we can come back to each other... and be ok and good -

- in a real way...i think this is so vague...

but i went out today early - as usual -

i met - up with another bizarre coincidence -

and then saw my friend james - at Timothy's Coffee house...

i sat there - and just appreciated so much the depth of each of us -- like the people behind the counter - one is a very bright and talkative scholar

and James - has his real nice qualities too

i guess - it's generally a good time -

the vagueness of our positives and negatives

and life ... are ok -

though i am traveling - i am here. i am taking care of life... and yeah the struggle of life...

but i am here... and ok --- --- and

lucky to know the people i do ...i think - it is great - to have those folks in my life.

they let me be me - and never make me feel badly

but support with practical reminders -or
cheers. !

it's a good thing.

Mark

i think what is important to say too -

is that i am learning to be others friends too -

perhaps in a more real way -

not to worry that i must be perfect for them -

or to just let them 'be them' - and if i can live with that ....

of what it all means ..

this is good. i learn this along the way of knowing someone.

and again i am lucky to know who i know.

and i am coming back
to my feelings here and now.