So I cant take being at home any more. My mom refuses to think she is yelling ( shell yell for me or my sister from the living room, she wont get her fat ass off the couch. Well I dont know how many times I have to tell her not to yell becaus it triggers flash backs. She dosent get it. And then there is my sister. She of all people should understand what Im going threw, the depression, anger... but she dosent. She says hurtfull things to me, tells me Im a worthless bum for not working... I think you get the idea. Im realy in no shape to work, but every day she is on my case about working. Then If I go out with my frinds she throws a fit becaus I get to drive my dads car and he might have givin me a little cash. My sister will freek out so much that I just dont go out for fear of her reaction. I dont understand why my famly is doing this, It makes me want to just leave and never look back, at this point loading up a backpack and just walking sounds realy good.

Mike,

I'm really sorry you're having such a rough time at home. Your home should be the place where you feel safest, not the place where you get jagged and hassled all the time.

As I just said awhile ago to another young survivor thinking of running, this never solves anything. If you look at things up close, I think you will see that your problems at home have a lot to do with how you feel. If you take off, the problems will go with you and just pop up all over again.

You have a lot of things on your mind, I know. But how about looking at them one at a time and seeing what can be done that way? Just to show you what I mean, let's look at your sister getting on your case about working and you can see what I mean when I say a lot of things are linked to how you feel.

Your sister sees you not working when (I assume) she has to, so she doesn't like the idea. It's not fair. But I recall from your survivor story that you can't work because of the heavy medications you are on to stop the flashbacks. Does she know and understand this? If not, she needs to be told. Can you do that?

I also think that if your meds are preventing you from functioning in a normal way, you might want to go back to your doctor, explain what's wrong, and ask what can be done. The meds may even explain why you can't achieve an orgasm when you masturbate (I think you mentioned this somewhere). Check it out! Don't be embarrassed to talk - doctors see this kind of thing every day and that's what they are there for.

With emotional problems the doctor often has to try one combination of meds after another until he/she finds the one that will work for you. And for that the doc needs your input; if one combo doesn't work you have to say what's wrong. Once something is found that suits you, you might feel a lot better and be able to live a more regular life.

Can I ask if you are seeing a T? I don't remember you commenting on that. If you aren't, that would not surprise me. It will be difficult for a T to help you if you are zonked on your meds so bad you can't work.

I'm not suggesting that there's one magic step here, but having your meds checked sure sounds like a good idea to me. And I do think it would be good for you in other ways. Survivors often need encouragement to ask for what they need, but this is an absolutely fundamental skill we need to work on for our recovery and other aspects of our lives.

Much love,
Larry