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#128016 - 09/05/06 12:14 PM changes in me
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i am seeing lots of changes in myself ,are they good? i dont know it seems like i am getting worse not better,i used to react to bad stuff by comming here and whinning till i got it out ,basicly just feelin g sorry for myself ,i dont think thats good ,but now when life dumps its latest load of shit on me ,i get pissed ,i get rage ,i run and hide from my friends just shut it all out ,and go looking for a fight,yesterday was one of my worst ,and i didnt want to deal with it or try to rationalize it or use it to heal ,i wanted to fight ,anyone anyplace,one of my neighbors said good morning ,and i bit his head off ,what he fuck is good about it i replied ,he gave me that well excuse me look and probably wont ever speak to me again. i dont understand why this is happening and i dont like it. not sure which is worse being an asshole or being a whiner .either way it feels like i'm not in control.

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#128017 - 09/05/06 01:16 PM Re: changes in me
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
eh -

take it easy on yourself -

you were having a bad day - it's ok - we all have em

if i may suggest - to offer - WHEN you are READY -

an apology to your Neighbour - if you want to -

but that's after you are in a good place -

- i have had days like yours -

i joked once - my star sign isn't cancer -

it's (put dog name here.)

m

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#128018 - 09/05/06 01:18 PM Re: changes in me
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
it's not the end of the world -

and you seem to be emotional right now

seasons changing help us with this - nice hunh?

i would refrain from drawing big conclusions about

anything right now.

when you feel cool - then just notice

maybe then do archaelogy - and notice what happens

- we can't stop feelings i think

but maybe we can know what - we're getting into?

dunno

peace

\:\)


m

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#128019 - 09/06/06 10:54 PM Re: changes in me
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
If I know you at all Adam, you might very well be good friends with that neighbor in a short matter of time.

Yeah, you probably threw him off when you bit his head off so early in the morning, heh, but he's lucky to have you as a neighbor.


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