Talking about how we feel is often a great way to get out from under the pressure, so vent away, my friend!
If you have been in therapy for 12 years and feel you have made little progress or have hit a wall, as you say, perhaps the best thing would be to ask your therapist what he/she thinks is wrong. Ask for an honest opinion and see what you get. In particular ask about flashbacks, which seem to be a major concern of yours, and what can be done to avoid them.
Another possibility is that this therapist is not the right one for you. There are many different professional approaches to therapy for CSA, and perhaps what you need is a different perspective. If, for example, your T has no productive idea about what you can do concerning flashbacks, I would be wondering how much experience he/she has with male survivor issues.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)